Moving to NJ from the UK

[mumdone]

I have the possibility of moving from Surrey to NJ, with work. I would have a relocation package and salary in the region of 300k, my husband wouldn’t work for a while and we have 3 children 13, 10, 7. My office would be in Whippany and I would need to be there 2-3 times a week. Is this enough of a salary? Where is a family place to live with good schools? We live in Surrey in the Surrey Hills and live the countryside. I am worried about the politics and crime. Any advice welcome

What are your education plans, particularly for 13 year old on a 3 year assignment? If it’s not a British school with iGCSE’s will they return to the UK and continue in the US system? Not having GCSE’s is an issue come sixth form and beyond, including uni. Moving on to uni, the only guarantee of home status & student finance is being resident in the UK for 3 years prior (including parents, child at boarding school doesn’t count). It’s not impossible to get home status without the 3 years residency but does limit options and student finance is particularly challenging.

i don’t have experience of the USA but would just say that mumsnet isn’t the best place to ask in my opinion - you will always get horrified responses if you are considering moving a child older than about 10, but in reality people have to do it all the time for work and many children not only survive but also thrive.
Yes the politics of the USA isn’t ideal right now, but you can say that about a lot of the world and people move about anyway- there are pros and cons and I’m sure there are many pros about the area you are considering. Having moved a lot I would say you should look at schooling carefully for your eldest and try find gcse options. Or, see if you can lengthen your contract so they can finish in the USA system.
Other than that I would see if I could find a group of expats in the USA or specifically NJ - Facebook is good for these types of groups - and you will then get more helpful answers about schools, salary etc. good luck hope it all works out for you whatever you decide

$300k is not what £300k would be here. If medical and some other expenses are included it would be a decent enough salary though. I'd go in a heartbeat. More space, bigger houses, people generally whinge less.

The eldest boarding in the UK might be another option.

Ignore the batshit responses, MN skews both negative and clueless when it comes to all things US. I emigrated to the East Coast in 2024 and it has been fantastic.

What is the relocation package? Is it a one-time bonus or is it ongoing benefits like school fees? I would advise you not to be fobbed off with a one-time cash injection and focus on maximising your salary. Is it $300k or £300k? $300k is doable but will be tight if paying for a SAHP and 3 older children incl. some of the school fees (what % will your employer cover?). So look to bump this up a bit if you want a comfortable life and if you’re going to be expected to fully cover rent and bills on that salary.

NJ is very close to NYC (where I live) so there will be plenty for your kids to do and enjoy here. Also consider living in NYC and reverse-commuting. I know a couple of people who do this (albeit to Connecticut) to experience living in ono of the best cities in the world.

Best of luck! I love a ‘moving to the US’ thread, brings back fond memories. ☺️

I have friends who live in Whippany. They live in Troy Hills and from what I’ve gathered over the years living there is similar to living in Surrey. I’m not sure I’d give up UK holidays / worklife balance and uproot my family for the exact same lifestyle as I have currently.

Morristown and some of the towns @Nofksleft2give are really lovely, leafy places with nice towns. I'm from New York, so I find them a bit suburban, but unless you're in the centre of Guildford, they're probably not too much of a culture shock from Surrey.

I think, depending on the rest of your package, the salary might be a bit tight for those areas, and, as nice as the idea of living in NY and reverse commuting might be, it won't stretch to that.

If you do go, I'd try to find a school that offers the IB. If you end up coming back to the UK, you won't have a problem finding that here (as long as you're willing to go private), and the universities are all happy with that, so the kids will be able to move back and forth pretty seamlessly.

I'm not a Trump fan, but I think those areas of NJ are pretty insulated (although you might run into more supporters than you think), and the state did just elect a new democratic governor.

Thanks all!! Appreciate all the comments. Salary could be negotiated. It might be a similar lifestyle but the career opportunities would be propelled meaning better opportunities in the years to come upon returning to the uk so actually it’s a long plan/investment. Anything is possible re. Staying longer than 3 years or leaving before 3 years no crystal ball. I think you’ve got to just roll with it and take opportunities when they present themselves.

That's actually a really nice area. I've lived in NJ (moved back 16 years ago) and still have a good friend who lives in Morristown. Schools are decent, very family friendly area, near enough to NYC and Newark airport for culture and easy UK/US travel. I think my main concern, as a PP pointed out, is the age of your older DC. What would the schooling situation be for that DC? Will s/he be expected to slot back into British schools at 16 and do A levels? American schools are not as rigorous as UK schools and many of the things they consider 'college level' are done at A level here (I have an American DH so know this for a fact). So, to me, it could be good, but you need to be clear what's happening and what your expectations are regarding your DC's schooling and what happens when you come back.

I'd commute for 3 months then decide. Try before you jump in.

Oh that’s quite a good idea, commute to a while to test the waters.
I have no idea about schooling. We get a relocation specialist support if we take the plunge. I need to look into this more. The issue we face is that we will be in secondary schooling for the next 8 years, then college then uni, so whatever way I dice it one or more of the children will be impacted. I’m sure there have been many others in this situation I will do more research. The admin alone is putting me off 😆

I agree this is not the best place to get true advice but we did it seven years ago and love it (not NJ but East Coast). Two things though - we did a permanent move and you need to think about sixth form and university. Moving back to the UK is tricky as the schooling system is really different, unless you’re looking at schools who do IGCSEs, and as a pp said you’ll be paying overseas fees unless your child is resident in the uk for three years prior to uni. And boarding school doesn’t count.

secondly salary - if your husband can’t work then $300k is not great for the US and definitely won’t cover private school x 3. Our private school is $45000 per year for a day pupil place and it’s not a posh one at all! Food and housing is very very very expensive here.

Oh I would say the comments about the American schooling system being behind or less rigorous is just not true. It’s just a different system that specialises in a different way so moving at a later age in either direction can be tricky. Doing 6 AP courses in senior year is as rigorous as doing 3-4 A-levels it’s just structured differently and across a broader selection of subjects

You can totally go from here to a UK uni - they understand and accept GPA scores and AP courses. You’ll just have to pay overseas fees unless

This is especially relevant in NJ -- OP, there are a large number of academically competitive private schools in reach depending on where you live.
As far as AP courses go, though, those aren't open to all students; they're usually selective tracks for the top set.

We're a little further out but our private school is $36k PA, per student.

We have friends in Freehold (other side of NJ) that love living there. Cost of living is high though so you’d need to do your sums carefully.

Biggest issue I think will be schooling, as your eldest will be at a tricky age. When we lived in the US there were a few families where the teenage children stayed in UK boarding schools and came out for holidays.

Where is the best place to find out about schooling, as this is my biggest concern. Thanks

If you have a relocation consultant they'll be able to point you to people to talk to. Otherwise, it would be worth hiring an educational consultant. I agree with @nixon1976 about the schooling not being worse or behind, particularly in the geographical areas you're looking at, but different.

In your shoes, I would definitely be looking for a school that does an IB curriculum as it will make it easier to switch back and forth between systems.

If you’re looking at private school I’d definitely advise using a school consultant as I think the closing date for applications for September 26 has gone I think. They’re quite strict about the application cycle and often there is no mid year entry. If you’re looking at public school then you have no choice - you go to the local school. Many are excellent though depending on your town. You can find ratings on niche.com

Agreed that it’s different. One of my DC would actually like to attend university in the UK because the courses are specialised (I don’t think we can swing overseas fees for what he wants, though) and he absolutely could get in on his American credentials. You need the IB
or APs. I agree that it isn’t necessarily less rigorous (since there’s no national curriculum and it goes by state, there is a lot of variation) but even in the very good schools it’s a completely different setup with an emphasis on studying more subjects and less depth.

We did the same move in 2011, but I was probably at a lower grade than youatvthe time. I had a L1 visa and husband /son an L2 visa. We moved from the North of the UK. We also had relocation support, a car and help with initial rental costs. Rental costs for a house I am guessing would be $5k plus. We had international plan health care during our transfer too which was gold plated with zero copay or deductible. Comparing to our current plan where I pay $400/month , $40 specialist and all out of pocket until $500. Medicines are. 20 or 40 a month so not out the way. We found that where we lived in Bergen county that the schools were amazing and we chose not to do private. We moved to Utah a few years later and used the private option there. My salary now is above yours but we live in a more expensive state. We find that we live very well, lots of savings and we paid in full out of pocket for our kid to do undergrad and masters so he didn’t get any debt. The politics at the moment are rough but to be fair we don’t really see a lot of it where we live in So Cal, a very blue state. When I ask my son about whether he would change anything about our move here, he says not. He got different experiences at school, went from a little bullying in UK to been praised for his academic achievements by his peers. He excelled in school here. He was on gifted and talented in UK but it didn’t really mean anything. Living in NJ is amazing as a base. It was 25 minutes in the train to NYC. There are sports events, fab shopping and great outdoors. Upstate NY is great and you can be at the beach in summer in an hour. Also effective tax rate is way less, my current tax is less than 30%, so more money in my pocket has led to be able to save more more into my 401k (pension) which means that I am likely to be able to retire early as well and maintain a good standard of living with plenty of trips overseas.

I forgot about the residency requirement for UK universities - yes, you’d be liable to pay overseas fees if you came back when your child is 16/17. But those fees are still less money than American universities so maybe not that important to consider. Like you said - if it’s not now it will just impact a different child if you do this later.

And I was a bit concerned about the money but was thinking it was £300K. If it’s $300K that’s going to be a challenge as private school will cut half of that out immediately.

If you do become a tax resident here take advice on your funds/ shares that you hold. Non US equities and unit trusts are classed as PFICs with exceptionally complex and expensive reporting rules. If you have stocks/ shares including ISA please take advice from a cross border tax professional before becoming a tax resident

I think it’s an amazing opportunity. I’d definitely choose relocation over commuting, simply because I would have horrific guilt about the climate impact of the flights. But I guess you’ll be flying back to see family often and don’t really care about this aspect of the move.

My only big question is your 13 yo dc - are they in Y8 or Y9? If you are in the US for (only) three years, what about their GCSEs? You can turn up in UK in y11 and sit GCSEs, so would dc join in y10 - is it even possible?