Moving to NJ from the UK

[mumdone]

I have the possibility of moving from Surrey to NJ, with work. I would have a relocation package and salary in the region of 300k, my husband wouldn’t work for a while and we have 3 children 13, 10, 7. My office would be in Whippany and I would need to be there 2-3 times a week. Is this enough of a salary? Where is a family place to live with good schools? We live in Surrey in the Surrey Hills and live the countryside. I am worried about the politics and crime. Any advice welcome

Not exclusive, but I’d like more rural and ideally 5 bedrooms.

love Trader Joes
IGAs are good but I don't think NJ has them

Honestly, I’d commute. It’s not a bad time difference, a reasonably short flight and presumably your employer would pay business class. There’s so much unrest I’ve noticed considerable change even in the bluest of blue NY. You just don’t know what idiocy is coming next. There’s a lot of anti European sentiment in pockets, a lot of anti immigration sentiment in some areas, and I wouldn’t subject kids to it. I will continue to travel to NY for work, but whilst I would have considered living there in the past, right now it’s a hard no from me.

What’s your current salary?

It really isn’t - it’s a dangerous fascist state. I have family in Minneapolis thanks. Any vaguely democrat area is next. School and mass shootings are endemic. Let alone the whole. Not worth the risk.

East Coast is great for skiing - lots of opportunities on your doorstep. We ski Upstate, usually for the day or the weekend (favourite is Windham Mountain) as it’s a short drive. Definitely less planning than ski trips to the Alps when I lived in London, although smaller mountains/resorts. I’ve heard great things about skiing out West (Colorado, Nevada, Utah) but I haven’t yet been. Vermont is great for skiing too.

It’s honestly such a fantastic place to live - don’t be surprised if that 3 years becomes 5+ years. Every single person at my Company who transferred to a US office from the UK stayed / is planning to stay beyond the initial planned 2-3 year period. I myself am a permanent transferee as I knew I’d love it here.

I personally would not go to the US with a family right now. Growing up in America, even in a liberal state we still had gun drills and gun violence is a real threat in schools no matter where you are. America is also becoming increasingly dangerous, especially now and it does not matter if it’s a liberal state or not unfortunately. Practically, it’s worth mentioning that health insurance is incredibly expensive, and covering a family you could pay thousands a month out of your salary and then huge sums every visit just to meet your yearly deductible. The health care is good but medications, hospital visits can be incredibly expensive. I realise 300k seems like a lot, but in America healthcare, food and rent is expensive and it’s not going to go as far as much as you think. There are definitely parts of New Jersey that are very nice (like Princeton) which is less than an hour to NYC by train which has its advantages. Other parts of New Jersey are a bit like being on an interstate. Just want to caution that it’s not anything like Surrey and you will have to drive everywhere.

Does Kings still exist?

That takes me back a very long time! lol

I would not want my children growing up anywhere in the USA right now.

Can all the hand wringers of doom just.....I dunno.....step out the thread? The OP was asking for advice about living in NJ. So, MAYBE, just let the MNers who actually live here take this one? Because literally millions of people live here, quite happily and peacefully, just as they do in Surrey.

And yes, Kings still exists!

Schooling may be the biggest issue because the curriculum is very different, it would be very difficult to slot back into the U.K. system after 3 years.

the cost of living in the USA is considerably higher than the U.K. especially regarding children so whilst you mention a salary, how does that relate to the U.K. salary you are used to. I have no idea on property rental costs where you would be based but it shocked us where we lived, also the so called benefits package wasn’t sufficient to cover medical for our whole family without a salary deduction, plus there’s copays, deductibles etc even for kids. We returned when the dc were still young because middle and high schools scared us

I think the fears on here are quite legitimate; 2 year olds being arrested is the latest headline. Why would anyone ever consider moving to a country that is in the state the US is now. That’s a rhetorical question because anyone with any kind of sense or conscience wouldn’t.

I used to live in NJ. I stayed in the southern part..near places like moorestown and pennsauken. Super close to Philly which is where I spent most of my time socialising . It was a 25 minute car journey or bus ride from where I stayed to Philly.

I had family who lived on the other end of NJ in nice family surburban areas closer to NYC.

300K is definitely enough for a family as far as I know.

How long is your husband out of work for though?

I loved it there and still visit often, but times have changed so much of course now with the political climate in the U.S. now.

Just a ‘heads up’ - ticks are rife in NJ and our friend’s daughter became very ill with Lyme Disease and I know of other people who caught it.

There isn’t really any open countryside as we know it in Europe; there are ‘Keep Out’ signs on private land and you have to go to township, county or State parks. It’s really not unusual to have bears roaming around the neighbourhood (we had a few in our town) but there are many in Morris County.

We used to get raccoons, opossums, turkeys and deer in our garden very frequently. Sadly at the South Mountain reservation on the edge of town it would be closed from time to time and the hunters would kill the deer with guns or crossbows :(

Many NJ towns have a “Rec” (recreation dept) which take kids from Middle School age + on Winter Saturday mornings to ski at Mt. Vernon, NJ or in the Poconos, PA.

Our family used to drive up to the Catskills in upstate NY to ski (but it’s not on the same level as the Swiss/French Alps and certainly no apres-ski: most people rent a house or cabin or just do day trips (bearing in mind the drinking age is 21).

In the Christmas holidays (called ‘Winter Break’ by the education dept) we would go with groups of friends and drive up to Lake Placid, NY Stowe or Killington, Vermont, or Mt. Tremblant, Quebec. There isn’t much in the way of powder snow though, it’s more icy in the north east ski areas.

School holidays are very long in the Summer, with one week off at Christmas and one week ‘Spring Break’ around Easter. Local public schools also have the odd days off in say, September for the Jewish New Year or other religious holidays where a significant number of students would otherwise be absent. Our town was like a ghost town in the Summer as most kids were away at Summer camps, or at the family vacation home on the Jersey Shore or in the mountains (with usually one parent commuting to work and joining them at the weekend).

Also FYI you have to pay your go on almost all NJ beaches! (Approx $7 + per day per person!) with some beache attendants checking your coolers for alcohol (banned - also at all parks too).

Yes you do have to go to public land but there is a lot of it. New York is even better than New Jersey IMO, with an outstanding park system that’s preserved a lot of wilderness. It predates the national park system which is a big part of why New York doesn’t have one.

Most eastern mountains are part of the Appalachians and so are very old and worn down. They’re not much for serious skiers, but they are wonderful for hiking. You need to go to the Rockies if you want high level skiing and powder. That said they did hold the Olympics in Lake Placid twice and it is respectable.

for the ticks, you get used to spraying on insecticide and tucking your pants into your socks.

❤️ Wegmans! I’m near DC. But you quickly learn that in season you want to buy produce from a farmers market or stand. That’s how you get really good summer fruit, tomatoes, and corn.

Because literally 300 million people live here, mostly quite happily? Is Minnesota right now terrying? Yes. Is that in any way related to living in NJ over 1300 miles away? No.

I think only your personal research can answer these questions.

Honestly, I feel like I'm yelling into fresh air. Lymes is very much in the very northern ares of NJ and far much more in the southern areas of NY. So, if you're in Mahwah or around the ski regions, there's a lot of deer. If you're in Whippany (where the OP said they would be based) not so much!

People saying the US is not safe. Do you think the UK is safe?

I definitely wouldn't walk out alone at night in the UK. A woman was gang raped two streets away from me recently

That is a bit of a silly statement. The US is huge. Many states are democrat states.

You should definitely consider it, New Jersey is absolutely beautiful. Providing as others say the health insurance and relocation package is good. but there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.
Your eldest is 13, so you almost need to commit to either the UK system or the US system. At 13 most subjects are similar but there will be gaps in History for example, as the US naturally favours American history, if your kid is learning French you'll need to think about whether or not to continue and how, most second language in the US is Spanish.
I don't know what type of Visa you are going to work under, but sometimes ( and this happened to my friend) if the child doesn't continue in full time education, they will need to leave the country as their Visa doesn't apply. After their US degree was finished they didn't have indefinite leave to remain. It sounds like hyperbole but two years really can go in the blink of an eye. Talk to the employment lawyer.
Your husband's spousal visa also needs to be of the sort that allows him to work, some don't or they are very restrictive. You'll also need to think through what happens if he hates it or vice versa, how much time you give it and agree what will happen if you disagree.
Finally don't worry too much about politics, be curious and be much more concerned about whether or not they are kind, welcoming and interesting. You'll have more common ground than you think. On crime, again it's rural-ish New Jersey, not True Detective Louisiana! Remember the population is five times the UK and it's much sparser. Go for a recce if you can and make up your own minds.

Strangers on the internet cant really help you decide.

I have moved country several times, and each time I worried whether I was doing the right thing. You can't really know until you go and try it

Doesn’t this sort of depend on what the OP’s current salary and family circumstances are?

so the salary being offered is £300k, but if current salary is, let’s say £275k - then…. New Jersey for £25k more? No. Thank. You.

Whereas if current salary is £110k, then NJ for £190k more? Hmmmm. Yes. Yes please. But I wouldn’t be enthusiastic, put it like that.