Moving to NJ from the UK

[mumdone]

I have the possibility of moving from Surrey to NJ, with work. I would have a relocation package and salary in the region of 300k, my husband wouldn’t work for a while and we have 3 children 13, 10, 7. My office would be in Whippany and I would need to be there 2-3 times a week. Is this enough of a salary? Where is a family place to live with good schools? We live in Surrey in the Surrey Hills and live the countryside. I am worried about the politics and crime. Any advice welcome

Fees depend on where you go. Our state university is cheaper than UK domestic fees. With financial aid, eldest’s private fees came to more than UK home fees but much less than overseas. at $300k plus though I would be expecting to pay the majority, though you’d get some discount at the most expensive.

Have a look at International schools.
A friend who did three years in the US used an international school following the IB curriculum and her kids slotted straight back into UK school on their return.

Honestly I think it is a pretty good package . The school specialist sounds particularly helpful . Even more helpful if you are a practicing Catholic family . I know that sounds cynical .! Seems like a great opportunity and hopefully will be a great experience for your kids . How do they feel about it ? My own DCs were very reluctant to take advantage of my business opportunities so decided against it . Now they regret it . Ultimately I think it is a wonderful thing to be able to live and work in a different place . And it's not years for the kids , only 9 months of school .

Cost of living higher? Lower taxes. Lower housing and fuel costs. Food is higher.

I think the children are too young to make an informed choice. I will involve them but ultimately we will make the decision based on what is best for the family.

I would ask if you and the family can make a visit (that is usually possible) and see the properties, schools, and have a run through of costs (local taxes can be hideous).

Whilst the quality of life should be comparable to Surrey Hills, and fairly insulated against much of the negatives of living in the US just now, I would think very hard about uprooting your children - the elder two in particular - as a 3 year placement would be bringing the eldest back after GCSES/Y1 of A Levels and the US obviously don’t do either, so she could arrive back with no GCSEs and unable to continue in the UK (although there is King Edwards Whitley back here in Surrey who have a large international student body and do the IB?)

I would also run the sums for the twice monthly commute as that might be a more serious consideration?

Be mindful about the dates for qualifying as a home student on return if your older child wants to go to university. I think you might be cutting it a bit fine if you are delayed at all. It could be a good experience though.

Overlooked that - yes, it’s 3 years full UK residency [at 1st sept of year starting the course I think], so unless the eldest defers going until she is 19, she will be treated as an overseas student as far as fees are concerned (in England, that is, Scotland has slightly different rules). This means £30k pa for uni fees x 3 or 4, so when doing sums you’ll need to allow putting aside £120,000 for fees alone.

I'd assume you know nothing about NJ.

Private schools in the US vary a lot in cost. Most Catholic high schools cost a heck of a lot less than you are assuming, and RC elementary schools far less than that again.

In an area of NJ that is the equivalent of the Surrey hills, the public schools would be both free and stupendously well equipped, routinely sending dozens of their graduates to the Ivy League. There would be no need for private schools, in other words.

As someone who lives in NJ, some of these comments are hysterical. OP, feel free to DM me if you like. I know Whippany and the surrounding area well. It's very safe and, if you want walkability, there are plenty of towns that offer that. I know a few people who have returned to the UK with 16 year olds in tow and it is doable. Anyway, I love it here and happy to give you any advice you need.

Oh for sure but that depends on if they’re aiming to go back to (England? Scotland?) for exams and therefore want an international private school etc. younger kids are fine.

Morris Knolls High School - Wikipedia https://share.google/yuXNttXdnPZZlMB2H

Maybe take a look at this high school, which offers the IB. Ddepending on where exactly you live, Rockaway is commutable to Whippany.

This is theoretically true however, I lived in British expat communities for a long time and there are many universities who will accept students as ‘home’ as long as there is proof that your job is temporary and you retain links to the UK with regular visits and ideally by keeping a home.
So op if this goes ahead keep a copy of your contract that says it’s fixed term, keep your house and rent it out if possible and visit home at least once a year keeping evidence of your plane tickets. There are many people who have managed this at a good number of UK universities.

You really don't need an international private school when some public schools offer the IB program. Families I know whose breadwinner's career took the family around the world have all opted for IB and have done really well, university-wise, in every country where they've attended university.

I also lived in NY with friends in NJ. It is larger than Surrey by a mile! Surrey is only 1663 km while NJ is 22591km.

@mumdone

I’m guessing you are a manager working for Kraft or Novartis pharmaceuticals?

I lived in NJ for 19 years (and became a US citizen) but moved back to England 6 years ago. We lived in Short Hills, part of Millburn Township (my spouse walked to the SH train station to commute to his job in Times Square, NYC so we only needed one car).

I frequently went shopping or dining at the strip malls all along route 10 from Livingston to Whippany.

My son went to an excellent public (state) schools, Millburn Middle and Millburn High. Basically how it works in the US is if your property tax is high, the schools are very good.

Towns near Whippany with great schools are:

Livingston (however there is no proper ‘town centre’ to Livingston. However there isn’t a train line and very limited bus service. Property prices therefore slightly cheaper. Houses mostly very large.

Btw: There is a private school in Livingston which is afaik the only one in the State offering the IB, Confusingly the name is Newark Academy and I believe the tuition fees are very high:

www.newarka.edu

Millburn/Short Hills (Millburn is the ‘town’ and Short Hills the ‘burbs’). Fab access for trains to NYC and Interstate 78 East to Newark airport (10-15 minutes) or west to Pennsylvania. We only needed one car. Four wheel drive is a must due to the snow!

Summit (one stop further on the NJ Transit train line from Short Hills).

Chatham (again on the NJ Transit train line). Cute, small town on Route 24 (or 124?) just after the Mall at Short Hills..it is almost joined up with Madison (again a cute town, not sure what the schools are like but assume they’re pretty good)

If you want to be further west, there are some lovely areas in Morris County, Our Aussie friends lived in a lovely house in Boonton Township and their eldest went to the excellent Mountain Lakes High School. It’s quite a distance from NYC though, so could be boring for your husband and at the weekends you may all enjoy family trips popping into the city so it might be just a tad too far west (the trains are slow, stopping at many stations!).

My husband had an L1-A visa and soon after I moved there, the then President ‘Dubya’ Bush signed a Declaration which allowed spouses to take up paid employment; indeed it’s more flexible than the L1-A visa holder as the L2 holder can work for anyone or for themselves.

My daughter went to boarding school in England for the sixth form and at the time as we were not in the US on green cards and only ‘temporary’ employment and dependent visas she was accepted as a ‘home student’ for university fees.

Btw; there are Aldi and Lidl stores in NJ but my favourite food shop (which I still miss) is Trader Joe’s. There is one not far from Whippany at Florham Park (near Madison). They sell British crumpets and English/Irish teabags, British cheeses etc.

Www.traderjoes.com (there is a list of locations by State)

also an excellent (huge) supermarket just off Route 10 at Parsippany called Wegmans:

www.wegmans.com

Hope this helps!

Send me a PM if you have more questions :)

This is excellent info, thank you so much

Where in NJ? It’s not a huge state but there are big differences in lifestyle, politics, cost of living, etc. in different areas — e.g. the NYC suburbs, the Jersey shore, Philly area and the more rural parts of the state. NJ actually gets a bad rap but there are lots of really nice places to live. There is culture, diversity, natural beauty, beaches, skiing, and lots more.

NJ is mostly made up of small-ish towns that each have their own state school systems. Once you move to a town your child is automatically entitled to attend the local schools and in most cases that will be your only state-funded option. Most of the schools are decent/good and some are excellent, and this will be reflected in the property values. There are a range of private schools available as well.

In most areas you will get around primarily by car unless you are commuting to NYC. Public transportation within NJ is available but limited. Many residential areas don’t have sidewalks (pavement) at all. Some towns have cute walkable downtown areas but it’s usually more limited than your typical high street in the UK. There are a lot of soulless shopping centers with huge chain stores.

Your salary would provide a lovely home and comfortable lifestyle in most places but it might be a stretch in some of the most desirable NYC suburbs. Pretty much wherever you live each adult will need their own car.

Healthcare is also expensive. Some employers offer only one insurance plan and some offer a few choices but these days even the best employer-sponsored insurance plans come with high premiums and out-of-pocket costs. But be careful about cheaper plans as they generally cover a much more limited network of healthcare providers.

Obviously the whole country is in the grip of the Trump nightmare right now. Everyone is scared of what the future will bring. But the truth is that in a state like NJ most people’s everyday lives are the same as they’ve always been. Groceries are expensive but on your salary you will be OK. If you follow current events it can be hard not to be consumed by fear and anger but a lot of people, including me, are trying not to let it rule our lives. You will find plenty of like-minded people anywhere in NJ although some areas are a little more mixed. I have to say I am comforted by the fact that we have dual UK/US citizenship although I know nobody feels calm anywhere right now.

It’s similar with the gun issue. A lot of people abroad seem to think that everyone in America is carrying a pistol in their pocket and you could be shot at any time. But it is a HUGE country and the laws and culture around guns is very different in different places. I have lived in several different stages in the northeast, including NJ, and I don’t know a single person who carries a handgun. (This would be very different in a place like Texas or Florida.) The fact that any school shootings have happened is horrific but your child’s actual risk is vanishingly rare. I worry MUCH more about my teenagers driving, especially in the winter. We are expecting a huge snowstorm tomorrow and nobody is going anywhere.

If you have more questions feel free to PM me.

DON’T DO IT! The chances are you could get shot or arrested and deported. If you have once mentioned Trump on your social media you won’t get into the country. Right now not worth it, especially for your kids who will be taught about school shootings from day one - horrible quality of life.

This is needlessly hysterical. Stastically she is not going to get shot, arrested or deported. Your post makes out like this happens to everyone who sets foot in the USA. Op has some much more measured answers from people who actually live or have lived there whereas I get the feeling you probably haven’t.

I see a PP has riven you some suggestions in northern NJ. I actually grew up in one of the towns she suggests and have lived nearby as an adult. It is a lovely area. It is densely populated and the roads be very congested but quieter areas aren’t far. A lot will depend on where you will be working. You will pay a LOT more for an easy commute into NYC, which is worth it for everyday but if you’re just planning on weekend excursions it’s not as important.

Also your personal demographics will affect where you want to live. For example, if you are Jewish or a person of color you might prefer some areas to others. If you will be in north Jersey you should definitely check out all the places PP mentioned. Maplewood, Montclair, and Westfield are all great towns in that general area. I would also check out Bergen County, especially the northern part along the border of Rockland County NY. Ridgewood and Tenafly are lovely, as well as places like Demarest, Closter, Woodcliff Lake, Hillsdale, Oradell, and Glen Rock. If you are looking for a more exclusive vibe with huge houses look at Alpine or Saddle River.

And yes, Wegman’s and Trader Joe’s are both fantastic! There are zillions of Trader Joe’s locations and several Wegman’s.

Exactly thank you

Thanks everyone, we love skiing, cycling, running, swimming, being outside. It would be Whippany. Typical British family who have lived in Surrey all our lives.