Moving to NJ from the UK

[mumdone]

I have the possibility of moving from Surrey to NJ, with work. I would have a relocation package and salary in the region of 300k, my husband wouldn’t work for a while and we have 3 children 13, 10, 7. My office would be in Whippany and I would need to be there 2-3 times a week. Is this enough of a salary? Where is a family place to live with good schools? We live in Surrey in the Surrey Hills and live the countryside. I am worried about the politics and crime. Any advice welcome

No practical advice as moved back from NJ over 15 years ago, but my mind is blown that anyone would consider moving to US right now!

I’m surprised that you’re considering it too if I’m honest. If any of those DC are girls I’d be even more surprised.

I know that’s not answering your question, typical MN

East Coast, wealthy, Democrat state so politics probably fairly similar to Surrey. Cost of living will be much higher than UK, so depends how the salary compares to what you are on now. How long do you have to decide? I would go over for a few days to check it out before deciding. The different parts of the US vary so much.

Yes, it’s a blue state, so similar politics to Surrey. It would be a 3 year assignment. I could leave the family here and commute a couple of times a month.

Does your package include medical insurance for everyone?

How do your children feel about it?

You want to live in Trump's America? And are happy to sacrifice your children to that?

It would include medical, dental, all insurances, relocation allowance. The option of me commuting twice a month is also in the table.
I think trumps America is a sweeping statement. Each state is widely different.

The option of me commuting twice a month is also in the table.
Now you are adding regular air travel, and wreaking the climate, into the mix.

Ignore the naysayers who’ve never been there.
is medical care covered - what about some of the expat websites for info

https://britishexpats.com/forum/

Why would you assume I’ve never bern there?

Leaving aside the insanity of choosing this right now, whether it’s enough depends on what you want for your kids. Schooling is an issue as your oldest is exactly the wrong age to move back and forth. High school is wildly different. Remember insurance won’t cover everything so read that information carefully to see your limits and co pays. You’ll need two cars - I don’t actually know how driving works that way (I immigrated from the states to the uk and hadn’t thought about that) so you should check.

You will want to visit schools as there’s a huge difference between them. They all practice lockdown drills and now some also have to practice ICE drills so make sure they’re ready for that. Remember to talk to them about guns - it’s a safety thing like talking to them about crossing the street.

Food is crazy expensive in the states so I’d visit, look at rentals, go on a pretend grocery shop, read insurance information carefully (can’t say this enough), find out about cars and schools and then you can make a decision (it would be a hard no before all this for safety reasons for me - cannot imagine choosing to live in the states as an immigrant right now for what it’s worth).

We would get two cars as part of the deal and some of the school fees covered. I need to do a lot more research. Thank you for all the helpful comments

We also would have someone supporting the move all our furniture shipped, pets shipped etc. it is a very good package. It’s is more the understanding the areas, schools and quality of life I’m concerned with.

I think I would be tempted to leave the children and commute if you are determined to move. Unless everyone is happy to move but I guess you need to go over and visit if you haven’t and see what you think of it out there (ps hello from Ranmore Common 👋)

So naive.

I give you Minnesota. It too is a blue state.

I will posit that even before Trump MN was very negative about the USA.

$300K is doable though not as luxurious as you might think (housing costs) but your eldest is a really tough age. Coming back at 16 will be difficult and you’re unlikely to have a British school for them to do GCSEs (you might find an IB school as IB is increasingly popular here, but that’s only so much help). That is what would make me shy from it. The younger ones would be fine: schools don’t line up perfectly but it’s not a terrible adjustment either way.

There’s no way this would be an executive level package at tha salary without comprehensive health insurance. If they offer but do not contribute to premiums they would effectively be cutting salary by $30K, and a
firm large enough to transfer an employee won’t be doing that.

from an employment POV the issue is how Trump is messing with the visa situation.

The area is fine, generally affluent, though Whippany is far enough that you might find it a bit dull. It would be fine to live in a closer-in suburb and drive as you would be going against the traffic. Lots of good suburbs for schools and NJ is one of the top ranked states for education. Very classic suburban American experience: houses with yards and such. For reference, Tony Soprano’s house was in North Caldwell, which is not far.

This. Parts of New Jersey are spectacular. Morristown, Basking Ridge, Bernardsville, Chatham to name a few. Long cold winters, long hot summers and beautiful Fall colours. Easy access to Manhattan for fun.

I don’t know New Jersey well enough (I grew up on Long Island but that was 100 years ago) but lifestyle - like anything, it’s a trade off. The working hours are likely to be intense - but perhaps you’re used to that already. You will probably have a bigger house, but nowhere in Jersey is cheap so you’ll pay for it. Unless you prioritise location, you’ll be driving yourselves and your kids everywhere - with a stay at home parent that’s less problematic than it would be for most. Schools for the younger ones will be fine (hopefully), but the teenager will have a rough time of it as I and others have mentioned.

My mom has a $50 co pay so every time she sees her doctor and gets a prescription, it’s $100. I would guess this wouldn’t be as problematic for you as for her (and her insurance isn’t great - the deductible is also high), but just to be aware that it’s not likely everything is totally covered and with 5 of you that will matter. Food standards are much lower so you might want to consider eating organic or at least antibiotic free. I am always surprised at the cost of our food when we are there, but eating out is cheaper usually.

Just for us, the lifestyle here in Scotland is infinitely better ‘but’ we’d both be working in either place and neither of us would have the kind of money you’d have to all the things above would be harder. (I was also personally connected to several shootings so the gun thing was a massive encouragement for us to leave, I just didn’t feel safe)

Plus sides? Bigger house, new culture and fun things to explore, NYC on your doorstep, the ability to see lots of new places on the weekends (check your holiday entitlement by the way, I know it’s better nowadays but it’s probably way less than you have now so maybe worth negotiating on that especially if you are planning to visit the Uk each year)… living in the states can be really easy and fun if you have the money to enjoy it.

(and super gross to note this but you’ll likely have an easier time if you aren’t POC. ICE is a crazy time right now and my friends and family in the states have seen a lot of craziness I’d never have foreseen)

Listen to the recent newsagents
podcast about what’s happening in Minnesota. Sobering stuff. Yes New Jersey is miles away but which state is next?

Agree with checking your holiday entitlement and alao check that any sick leave isn’t taken off your holiday entitlement.

Also you mentioned your husband won’t work right away. No there is almost no chance of him getting a visa and working so he is okay to be a stay at home dad for three years in an isolated area (spaces are vast and you have to drive everywhere)?

um, New Jersey is not any more vast and isolated than Surrey! It’s not the Great Plains! You can drive from the tunnel to Pennsylvania in an hour.

do check into the visa rules though as there are various types of spousal visas and he may not be permitted to work.

Fully aware being Canadian and parents who lived in thr US. You do have to drive everywhere. There aren’t town centres but there are malls. Walking to the store for example doesnt happen. Have also lived in Surrey so yeah it so more vast.

There are absolutely town centres in New Jersey. Yes there’s also suburbs where everything is in a strip mall, but not all of it. I used to live in Philadelphia and have family in New York so I’m familiar with it.