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Living overseas

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Original poster

All those online for NZ timezone!

880 replies

buzzybee · 28/04/2007 05:17

Hi all. Used to be a regular on MN when I lived in London but since moving back to NZ have found it harder to make the connections due to all the brits being asleep when us down under are online! So if anyone is keen to start a thread for those of us in this predicament please reply! My DD has just turned 5 and started school last week (scary). Have just found out I'm expecting number 2 - due roughly Xmas day...

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eidsvold · 03/05/2007 08:27

yup - brilliant - nail polish remover even works on supa glue!!

just wipe it over - wash it well and way you go!!

sibble · 03/05/2007 20:47

I'll tell you when it last rained in QLD, mid August for the 7 days I was in Mooloolaba. I was reliably informed at length over a few wine by one of my BF's I was visiting that 'the drought had been broken' I have to add I had just spent 4 weeks in the UK. The 4 weeks of typical English weather sandwiched between the heatwave. I would also like to predict another 7 days of rain mid AUgust when I return to Noosa As so endeth the weather report. If anybody else is mid drought my services come at a very reasonable rate

eidsvold · 03/05/2007 22:34

sibble we can't wait until August - can't you come sooner?!?!?

I know it has at least not really rained in 6 weeks. I could not understand why dd2 does not like rain - cause it has probably rained a handful of times in her life of 2 1/2 years - she has no idea what to do with this thing called rain!!

ghosty · 03/05/2007 22:44

Come to think of it, the last time sibble left NZ to go to the UK to visit family, we had 5 weeks of perfect weather, not a cloud in the sky. It pissed down for the rest of that winter

eidsvold · 03/05/2007 22:51

ghosty - dh said he really liked visiting Melbourne - hopes to go for a 'proper' visit one day - when we can get cheap airfares etc. said it was much nicer than Sydney.

ghosty · 04/05/2007 01:45

I am not surprised that your DH was taken with Melbourne, I am actually quite taken with it myself ... it seems to be a city that has everything ... (apart from rain)
I am even enjoying the slightly colder temperatures ...
I love the Mediterranean, European feel of it ... everywhere you go you find a Greek or Italian Deli - my favourite so far is owned by a lovely old Lebanese lady ... Many the surnames in DS's class are Greek or Italian. At DS's soccer club ALL the kids are Greek apart from the coach's son who is English. 3 little old grandads with wizened faces and round tummies sit there chattering away in Greek, smoking and fiddling with their worry beads.
There are moments that I feel a bit faint with the surrealness of it all ...
It's no wonder I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and wonder where I am
I have been chatting to a nice lady at DD's swimming lessons these last 3 weeks and yesterday we had coffee afterwards - she was so nice, friendly, kind and funny ... we swapped numbers ... so as soon as I come back from my NZ citizenship ceremony I will persue that friendship I think.
My mate in NZ said I sound like I am dating ...
I won't do wine on a first date though

ghosty · 04/05/2007 01:47

Cheaper airfares are due to arrive soon, eidsvold, when Tiger Airlines set up shop in Melbourne later this year ....

  • They are an offshoot of Singapore Airlines apparently and will be direct competition for Virgin Blue and the like.
eidsvold · 04/05/2007 03:31

thanks for that - that is what dh said Melbourne had a more european feel to it. He visited the royal childrens hospital for his work trip. He learnt that the largest group at the moment are from Somali and a number of other african countries in fact - the interpreters can't keep up with demand and so now they have clinics expecially for children/parents from somalia so that the interpreters can attend to everyone's needs too - amazing.

we love singapore airlines so hopefully the other one can live up to that too.

sounds like things are starting to come together for you here.

Boobsgonesouth · 04/05/2007 03:44

ghosty...took your advice and posted ( ie paid for it !!) small ad in classified section...... love lurking on the Aus/NZ thread (we have a 7 month old puppy that wakes me up in the early hours, exactly like having a baby again !!) seems to be the only humorous posts at this time in the morning (UK time) We're looking at houseswaps in Aus/NZ for 2008 at Christmas time (really excited) so it's interesting to see your inuts on the various areas........

twentypence · 04/05/2007 09:14

I thought Melbourne was like Manchester (but in a good way)

kjaysmum · 04/05/2007 09:32

hi buzzybee, I'm just north of wellington and have only just spotted this thread as I'm a bit of a slack MN'r as I tend to only go post on the little bit of Kiwi thread, so it was a very pleasant surprise to find this one here. We tent to not be online at the same time but just leave messages for each other. I am English origionally and moved here with my Kiwi partner almost a year to the day from holland. I'm afraid I haven't read all the posts but see you're in Wellington, we come down loads as my partners parents live there, I love it but am happy here up the coast too. Congrats on your pregnancy..

Original poster
buzzybee · 10/05/2007 05:33

Hey all. Sorry Ghosty didn't check this before I got on the plane! K and I loved Melbourne but there's no way I'd want to leave Wellington again (to love I mean) in the immediate future anyway. We went to IKEA during the thunder and lightning on Thur which was a perfect way to avoid the weather! Went to the Australian Impressionists exhibition, "Miss Saigon", St Kilda craft market and St Kilda Farmers Market (1st on Sunday, 2nd on Saturday), Melbourne Zoo, shopping down Bourke St mall and along Bridge Rd, walked around East Melbourne...all in 4 days! I can see us coming back sometime and would love to catch up again.
But the completely unbelievable, mind-boggling coincidence was that it turns out that K and I are in exactly the same situation!!! Only diff is that I'm now 8 weeks pg and she's only 6!!!!! Another major diff is that I know I want to have the baby whereas she's not so sure - v. hard decision. We're both also separated/divorced with 1 child around the same age (her DS is 5 in June, my DD is just 5 - they both attended childcare together which is how we met) and met the fathers within the last 3 months....really quite surreal.
I had a scan Wed which made it all seem very real

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Original poster
buzzybee · 10/05/2007 05:36

Hi also KJaysmum! We come up the coast occassionally but probably not so much over winter... If you feel like a visit to Te Papa or something sometime let me know! DD and I go to the zoo very frequently too - she has annual membership. Only hitch is that I only have DD every second week (shared custody) which can make logistics a bit more tricky. My email is lmeade at deloitte dot co dot nz

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Original poster
buzzybee · 10/05/2007 05:42

Oh dear must watch those fingers - meant I don't want to move away from Wellington to LIVE any time soon...but if it was for true love I guess I might consider it!!

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MrsJohnCusack · 10/05/2007 05:58

hiya buzzybee
my sister, husband and dog are now in Wellington - can't quite believe it, as when we said goodbye in September I thought she'd be in the UK and I wouldn't be seeing her much!

so am hoping to be up there soonish

Can't wait to get over to Oz too, except at the moment have to save up all our pennies to return to the UK to appease the inlaws. Not sure how we'll manage that....never mind.

my parents have just bought a holiday house in Havelock, on the way to Nelson, though so we have cheap holidays sorted out for the future

MrsJohnCusack · 10/05/2007 06:00

oops meant to say great news about the scan buzzy,how exciting

am a bit broody myself and DS is only 9 weeks . Pretty sure it's just the hormones though and the fact that he's GORGEOUS and just smiles most of the time

Original poster
buzzybee · 10/05/2007 12:09

Ah, Havelock famous birthplace of Ernest Rutherford! So close to Wellington and yet so far. Actually I'm sure you'll love spending time there, I spent last Xmas at Abel Tasman national park and it was FANTASTIC. In fact was thinking about going back again this year but now will have other things occupying me!
Scan was exciting, but also quite scary. I'm planning to tell the father tomorrow night. Unfortunately I don't think ours is a relationship made to last - in fact I'd already called it quits (after 7 weeks of seeing each other) when I found out I was pregnant. I'm sure there will be those who will judge and think that I should make more of an effort to make it work "for the baby" but I really don't feel anything for him - other than mild irritation and boredom (aren't I awful) and that can't be a good starting point can it???
Wish me luck... {scared face}

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kjaysmum · 10/05/2007 22:08

good luck buzzybee, I have to say you have my total respect for not 'staying with him just for the baby' must take alot of courage and confidence to go it alone. My mum did it and I'm so grateful she didn't force me to grow up in a house with lots of tension in it, we were skint but happy!!just felt like sharing that with you

sibble · 11/05/2007 05:26

wow, good luck buzzybee. I admire you. My start in life was also quite similar to your situation, mum had a fling after a divorce, found herself pregnant, then out I popped about 9 months later . She was living with my grandparents at the time so had lots of support. Do you have family and friends to help if you need it? Anyway, you are already doing a great job with one so at least you know what to expect. So......... good luck sharing your news, there really is no point compromising. Life is too short IMO.

Original poster
buzzybee · 11/05/2007 12:04

Ohhhhh - one of the scariest moments of my life, but we got through it OK, just! I can foresee many conversations ahead where he tries to convince me to try and make a go of it but I'm convinced that would be the wrong thing to do as it would still end in the same result but with excess baggage so to speak. Anyway I left him to think things over - quite a lot to take in! I'm glad to have that out of the way but also sad that I'm now no longer free to just quietly enjoy the feeling of being pregnant and have to deal with these other issues which are actually much harder really. I tried to be as clear as I could tonight that I wanted him to be involved but only as the baby's father, not my partner but I don't think he was really listening...
Thanks so much Sibble and Kjaysmum for your thoughts, I really appreciate it. I am lucky in that financially I should be OK whether he supports me or not, although will probably only be able to afford to take 3 or 4 months maternity leave and then maybe try and hire a nanny or something - will work that through later I guess!

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Original poster
buzzybee · 13/05/2007 06:06

I wonder if anyone has some advice as to how to get the baby's father to accept that I can't see us being together? I'm convinced he believes I'll change my my if he waits long enough or wears me down enough. I want my baby to know its father but I'm not sure I can handle the emotional burden of him trailing around after me like a puppy dog for months and months - help!!!

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kjaysmum · 15/05/2007 02:54

Don't really know what to say buzzybee, it's abit out of my field of experience. Objectively I'd say, by telling him he's the father I guess you have to allow him a degree of involvement as it's his child too...but it's your body and your pregnancy so he has to respect that and give the space you need to make sure you don't get stressed out,. perhaps you can source some info which informs him of how important it is to the growing fetus that you remain calm and happy. Just one thought I hope someone can give you some more...

welliemum · 15/05/2007 03:15

Just found this thread, how could I have missed it!

Good luck buzzybee - I'm in Wellington too, or anyway near Wellington. A bit run off my feet at the moment but it would be great to have a MN meetup in Wellington - suddenly there seem to be lots of us!

Original poster
buzzybee · 16/05/2007 07:14

I've tried to be really clear with him that I do want him to be part of the baby's life. The problem is that he wants to be part of my life in a completely different way. I'm feeling really stressed about the idea of him ringing me up or coming over to my house to make yet another attempt to convince me that we should be together. To the extent that I'm sitting at work right now scanning the movie listings because I don't want to go home!

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Original poster
buzzybee · 16/05/2007 07:15

On a brighter note Welliemum, the meet-up idea sounds great! How about the weekend of 9/10 June sometime? Anyone else interested somewhere in the Wellington vicinity?

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