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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

All those online for NZ timezone!

880 replies

buzzybee · 28/04/2007 05:17

Hi all. Used to be a regular on MN when I lived in London but since moving back to NZ have found it harder to make the connections due to all the brits being asleep when us down under are online! So if anyone is keen to start a thread for those of us in this predicament please reply! My DD has just turned 5 and started school last week (scary). Have just found out I'm expecting number 2 - due roughly Xmas day...

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Shells · 23/05/2008 21:09

... and just to carry in, in baffled tone...
when i had LO a few months ago, I was inundated with home visits and check lists from MWs and plunket nurses to make sure I was looking after her properly. Did no-one check those little babies in those weeks? They were very tiny. How could this apparently thorough system fail them?

Sibble · 23/05/2008 21:28

Apparantly they were checked and (I'm not sure here whether it was the plunkett nurse or social worker) gave evidence to say there were huge problems, she was worried but didnt report it, follow it through or do anything about it. While as a ex-nurse I felt for her, she was extremely tearful as you'd expect I wonder whether she will be disciplined or what will happen. Not sure whether their case loads are too big or whether people are too scared to do the job they are meant to do in case they implicate the wrong family. Those old injuries must have been evident at visits though.

Sibble · 23/05/2008 21:30

I'm not finger pointing I have to say - it's just systems need to be reviewed (inlcuding the law) to ensure this does not keep happening!

welliemum · 23/05/2008 21:31

Yes, they loved coming to the house and drinking tea and chatting - I had to tell them not to darken my door again (in the nicest possible way!) because I couldn't see any point to the visits.

I suspect that visits to struggling families aren't nearly as much fun - and, in fairness, the struggling families probably aren't as easy to find and contact.

But I wonder, though, in retrospect, what anyone outside the family could have done to save the twins. It looks as if there were concerns about their care before they were even discharged from hospital, with the parents not showing an interest in visiting and caring for them. Short of posting a nurse to sit in the house 24 hours a day and monitor what was going on, I don't know what would have made a difference.

In retrospect they should never have gone home to that environment, but if they'd been removed from their parents at birth there'd have (rightly) been an outcry.

And the extended family were just as awful as the parents, so no help there.

Poor little things, they had no chance, did they.

Shells · 23/05/2008 21:54

I completely see what you're saying Wellie, but its so grim isn't it, that there was no chance.

And even with proper intervention from social services, they wouldn't have taken them away without huge investigation and by then it would have been too late.
Makes me weep for these children.

WhatSheSaid · 31/05/2008 04:49

Just posting to get this back on my Threads I'm On...I have no news I'm afraid! Oh, we took dd swimming for the first time today, which was fun. That's all from me...

Charmander · 31/05/2008 06:50

Hello, realise you are all off to bed now but can anyone help me. We are in the middle of getting stuff ready for NZ visa (medicals next week). All very excited.

Can anyone tell me what secondary education is like in NZ? Is it generally comparable with the UK? My DS1 is 10.

Would i be better off starting a new thread?

Also just thought, how strict is the medical critera for getting into NZ?
DS1 has a mild genetic bone problem. He is seen every 6 months by a consultant (inc. an x ray on his hips) here but is on no medication and apart from physio exercises no one has needed to do anything to him.

Sorry for poor typing ds3 (2 year od yesterday is climbing all over me).

buzzybee · 31/05/2008 12:04

Hi Charmander
Quick response only: not sure about the medical thing, I'm sure it would depend on whether the officials consider that his condition could be costly in terms of public health costs.
Secondary school system is quite different here I believe. But I've never had kids in the UK system. Briefly so that you can get some sort of idea: kids here usually stay at primary school until they are 13 then spend 5 years at secondary school. In some areas there is something called Intermediate School which they attend for 2 years only (11/12). There are no "11+" exams as such - kids have to be accepted into their local state school - but they are zoned so there can be competition to live in the zones where the "best" (perceived) schools accept kids from. The secondary schools rely on reports from the primary schools to stream kids on entry. These reports undoubtedly include discussion on test results carried out while the children are at primary school but it is all much less formal than in the UK. There are also a range of private schools and "integrated" schools (largely Catholic) and these can pick and choose to a much greater extent and some probably ask children to sit a test. Many of these put much emphasis on kids starting at age 11 and attending for 7 years. Just as a random sample this one is well regarded locally in Wellington where I live for girls (don't take this as a recommendations BTW as none of my kids have attended this school!) www.marsden.school.nz

Hopefully others will come along who know more about the UK system and can provide more reliable comparisons. I'm a kiwi so I went to school here.

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Charmander · 02/06/2008 18:57

Thanks buzzybee, that's really helpful.

welliemum · 03/06/2008 02:49

Hi Charmander

Sorry, my children are little and I know next to nothing about the kiwi school system!

About the medical: I said on mine that I was profoundly deaf but not needing treatment (or words to that effect) and had no hassle. (Then I came to NZ and ended up with a cochlear implant costing the govt many $$$ but that's another story... )

I think as buzzy says, their concern will be whether an immigrant is going to use lots of health resources - but on the other hand they can't insist that all immigrants have perfect health, so I don't think you need to worry.

Whereabouts will you be living? (Wellington is lovely, hint, hint, hint )

welliemum · 06/06/2008 03:13

And a general bump - How is everyone?

Good here and I'm feeling MUCH less nauseous these days which is a huge relief.

It was lovely to see you last week MrsJC!

Shells · 06/06/2008 03:18

hello wellie. you must be relieved. thank goodness for that.

we are ok. endless amounts of energy being poured into trying to get LO to sleep more. she still cheerfully wakes up 4 times a night and takes no notice of all my carefully plotted techniques to change her ways....

MrsJohnCusack · 06/06/2008 08:01

lovely to see you too Wellie!
I immediately went and bought DD the piggies and they are a great success...hope your DD liked them too

oh Shells, 4 times a night, you poor thing.

charmander, my ILs are just having their medicals to immigrate here and my MIL is a complette crock (also they both love to be ill so will prob have made themselves sound even worse than they actually are) but even so, the high commission and other people they've talked to think they should be OK.

they let DH in and he has various depression related things, ulcers, asthma, etc.etc., it was fine. From what you say I would think that your DS would be fine.

WhatSheSaid · 06/06/2008 08:32

All well up here in Auckland. Flying to UK in just over 2 weeks so emailing lots to try to organise meeting up with folk while there.

Hope you get more sleep soon Shells

kjaysmum · 10/06/2008 02:07

hi all, looks like I've been abandoned on the "other kiwi thread" boo hoo just hope the ladies over there are all ok, suspect it's a working mums thing?...so I thought I'd drop in for a bit of company..hello good to hear you all sound ok apart from a serious case of sleep deprivation, Shells, not easy hey, though it's becoming a distant memory to me now as Ds just turned four. Of course we have a few four year old issues now, like forgetting how to eat and experimenting with emotions like anger (eek!). All in all things pretty good up here in Kapiti, relishing the clear cold NZ days. I still look forward to meeting you Wellie Mums at some piont in the future, ok dropping out again, bye for now....

Shells · 10/06/2008 03:17

Yes come and meet us kjaysmum. how about this sunday?

kjaysmum · 10/06/2008 08:57

Thanks Shells, will have a chat with Dp and get back to you..

kjaysmum · 10/06/2008 09:41

That sounds possible Shells, if you don't mind me having Dp and Ds in tow, how about 11 am by the bucket fountain for a coffee if that suits you? Anyone else interested?

Shells · 10/06/2008 19:38

Me and Wellie and Buzzy were going to meet at 11 so that would be perfect. Would that suit everyone? Will be lovely to meet you. Obviously I can't string a sentence together in my current state, but I can order coffee and cake quite competently .

kjaysmum · 10/06/2008 23:47

That's just great, I'm very much looking forward.... see you all sunday

welliemum · 11/06/2008 22:27

Yay - I'm so looking forward to meeting you kjaysmum! Glad you can join us!

See you all on Sunday!

Shells · 11/06/2008 22:59

Wellie, I need to quiz you about weaning. DD is not going brilliantly and I'm wondering if I'm doing it too early. So will bore you senseless on Sunday with questions....

buzzybee · 11/06/2008 23:28

Snap Shells. Bea only wants to eat "real" food - completely turns her nose up at puree. Grabs at anything I have. Likes cheese and bread but of course only actually eats a minute amount.

Look forward to seeing you again KJaysMum!

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kjaysmum · 12/06/2008 02:39

I have really nice sunday planned now.....Dp's response was "fantastic I can go to the football shop while you and Ds meet the mums and their los" typical hey

buzzybee · 12/06/2008 10:48

Shells it looks like I will have DD1 so if DS1 feels like coming?!

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