Living in France, feeling I will never ever fit in here. All because of a school trip.

[Greythorne]

we live in France. DH is French.

Kids go to local school. I find I have to take a big gulp and accept the "culture clash" about tonnes of things and I am willing to do so because the kids are half French and hey, we live here, so I have to.

But tonight i feel near tears because we have just got a letter home from school to say there is a school trip for DD1 in a few weeks, just before the end of the school year. Dd1 is 5 years 5 months and in the equivalent of Year Reception.

The school is organising a trip for 5 days to a riding stables about 60 miles away. 5 days. 4 nights.

I just don't feel she is ready for this. I just feel I am not ready for this. I am just sick and tired of always feeling out if step with my community, with the school, with the people who should be my peers.

I mentioned my concerns to another mum, who just laughed it off and said, "tu sais, il faut couper le cordon un jour!" (you know, one day you have to cut the cord).

The trip is not mandatory but the teacher is putting pressure on parents to let their kids attend as it will be the culmination of a whole project about farms, horses, whatever.

I am just so demoralised. I try and I try to fit in here but this is just too much. I have read so many threads on MN about school trips / scout trips / what have you and I tend to agree with the posters who say: let them go, let them spread their wings, they will be safe.

But never have I seen a trip for 5 days at 5 years old.

I feel sick.

Greythorne I know what you mean about the real downer of a feeling you get when you are reminded (again) that the culture you live in doesn't get you.

It doesn't matter how long you have been in a place, it brings you down every time.

I live in France and have been here for 15 years, there is lots I get and lots I don't - there are people that get me but LOTS that don't. It isn't easy.

FWIW, I've had a think and NONE of the French friends I have would be happy about such a young child going away for so long. Recently at my DD2's school they wanted to organise going to visit a big cave, and this was only for the day. The school asked for some parent volunteers to help out and specified that the (adult) helpers needed to not be afraid of; the dark, of heights, be claustrophobic or nervous about narrow steep stairs. The trip ended up being cancelled because the majority of parents refused to let their 4 or 5 year old children go. We got a snotty letter from the school saying how disappointed they were that the parents were behaving like such ninnies and how they had done a risk assessment on the trip and it passed with flying colours (oh and there was a 3 hour round bus trip to do too to get there).

I was heartened to see that my French friends thought that the planned outing was ridiculous and unnecessary for such young children.

I bet you are not the only parent who isn't happy with the trip organised for your children - 'stiff upper lip' is a phrase that should have been invented by the French.