My DD3 has stage 4 Cancer

[ToddlerMumma]

We are in shock, horror, disbelief. Last week she had a sore leg and went to A&E, now she has stage 4 Neuroblastoma and chemo starts on Tuesday.
She's only 3 but she's taking it in her stride. She cried the other night and said 'I don't want to be sick, I just want to go to nursery with my friends' it broke my heart.
The implications are just hitting, our whole lives are turned upside down for at least a year. One of us will have to give up work, how will we cope? Financially, emotionally.
I have a black lump in my stomach and can't believe this is happening to us

I’m so sorry. Only advice I have is do you or your partner have critical illness insurance? Mine also covers dependants as standard so might be worth checking that to ease the financial pressure at least.

Sending hugs and positive thoughts OP

I'm so sorry. What an awful shock.

Wishing you all the best with the treatment.

OP I'm so sorry. I will be thinking of you, your DD and your family.

Oh @ToddlerMumma , what a shock for you all

Clic Sargent should be able to support you with DLA application, and they used to do a small lump sum when diagnosis first happens - enough to help to cover parking, petrol etc. Make sure you get all you're entitled to - find out if the hospital offers free parking to chemo patients.

It's shit, we've been there (DS was 5), but soon you'll get your head around it. Take care of yourself too x

What an appalling shock for you all. I’m so sorry and wish you all the very best

Sending so much love.

Wishing you well.

Sending love to your brave girl and all of you ❤️

The shock is awful when you first go through this, but you learn to cope. I can also recommend Clic Sargent, they were great for us when my daughter developed leukaemia as a two year old, plus you will get support from other parents going through the same thing.

It is difficult seeing young children to through this, but it is amazing how resilient they can be, wishing you strength and love to you all.

Sending lots of love 💞💞.. no advice as I don't think there is any but know you have everyone on here 😊 and I will be thinking of her xxx

I'm so sorry for your awful news. Day to day is the best way & glad you've had some helpful links. Wishing you all the support you need to get through this, am sure your head is all over the place right now

I’ve been where you are. My darling boy was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer when he was 4. I remember this stage vividly, it’s just utterly bewildering and terrifying. It does get that bit easier once you get in the swing of treatment I promise. Take it day by day and accept any offers if help (something I struggled with). Feel free to pm if you want to chat. Much love and strength to you all xx

Hope everything is going ok so far with treatment! We are in a similar situation so I thought I would reply. My almost two year old ds was diagnosed with leuakaemia in July.

It definitely has got a little easier as it had gone on, I feel like we are in a bit more of a routine now, although of course there are always surprises. Some of the chemo drugs seem to hit him really hard one week and then not the next.

In terms of work we both took sick leave for the first month, my husband is now back at work but I’m going to stay on sick leave until I go on maternity in November. Not sure if sick leave is an option for you or your husband, but it might be worth investigating. My work do 6 months full pay which I had never realised so it might be worth looking into!

I am so sorry xx

I'm so sorry to hear this. Take some time to get your head around it and then take one day at a time. There are lots of good charities out there that might be offer to help. You should also get access to a Macmillan nurse who you can ask questions to who will help or point you on the right direction

I'm so sorry, OP. What a shock. Your head must be spinning.

I sincerely hope the treatment is successful and your daughter recovers well.

So sorry to hear this🥲 my daughter was diagnosed with leukaemia aged 3. Also happened very quickly. Went to the gp with leg pain and were in the specialist unit in a different city 24 hours later. Take every little bit of help offered. You will meet other families and you all help each other at different times. It’s very early days for you yet, but you can and will do everything you need to xx Love and prayers for your little dd xx

So sorry xxxxx

I’m so sorry this must have been devastating news. Sending strength and prayers for your lovely little girl to get better

Oh gosh OP (and others) what a horrible situation for you and your precious LO. I can't imagine how hard that is. I have a 3yo DD too. It seems so unfair and random that someone of that age would be so ill, their little lives are just beginning.

If you don't mind me asking, what were her symptoms? I can imagine dismissing leg pain as just growing pains, or a bump at nursery or something - how did you know to have her seen?

I'm keeping everything crossed for you all over the coming year and sending you love and strength xx

@ToddlerMumma how are things?

@AnotherEmma

I am so very sorry about your DD's diagnosis. Wishing you all the strength and luck Do you have any other children? Do you have supportive family and friends? Take all the help that's offered and look after yourselves as much as you can. Are you sleeping and eating ok?

Macmillan and other cancer charities can offer emotional support and practical help. They should be able to help you to apply for any benefits and grants that you are entitled to. I think you should be entitled to DLA for your daughter.

You might not have to give up work completely, you could negotiate an unpaid career break or take unpaid parental leave for a while - check your contract / staff handbook and talk to your boss and/or HR.

If going down to one income, depending on that income and other factors, you might be entitled to Universal Credit. Macmillan/another cancer charity or Citizens Advice can help you work out whether you are entitled and if so how much.

Before offering unpaid leave, ask about compassionate leave and what paid options there might be. My organisation recently decided to give 6months full pay to someone whose child is very very sick. It isn’t a contractual thing but everyone agreed that if they ever were going to make exceptions this should be the time. I know not everyone is that lucky, but hoping your employers will be generous.

I'm so, so sorry, @ToddlerMumma.

Praying that the treatment works for your Daughter and she's well and back to playing with her friends and doing all the things she loves.

Sending you all love and strength xx

Look into claiming DLA for her...if you give up work you can then claim careers allowance...you don’t need to be worrying about money on top of everything else.
Will say a little prayer for you all
💐