Binding

[hartof]

My DD who is currently 14, told us in June 2020 she thought she was transgender. She had always been a "tomboy" we let her dress how she wanted. At the time I said nothing needed ti change as she can make herself look however she wants but we would t change anything hormonally until she was older.

She has never asked us to call her by another name, or refer to her as they or him.
She had her hair cut short later that year and last year we found a great barber who takes it shorter and makes her look amazing.

On Sunday she sent me a link to a binding bra, I don't know if I should say yes or no. I have no idea how it will affect her, but at this point I'm sure it's not a phase and this is how she sees herself. Any advice is dearly received.

( she/we have had no counselling she gets uncomfortable when I ask her questions ie when people have referred to her as male I asked if it bothers her and she won't answer me)

So if the only way to treat dysphoria is to transition, why do we have detransitioners?

@DrDetriment

Absolutely not. Breast binding has many health issues associated with it. It sounds like she is struggling with many issues and would benefit from safe, supportive, non-trans focused counselling.

This.

[quote Horological]@Iambecomethequeen

It makes perfect sense. Anorexia can be cured with therapy, dysphoria cannot

This statement shows how little you know about psychology. Therapy does not 'cure' anorexia. Recovering from an eating disorder is much more complex then that and many people with dysphoria do find therapy useful.[/quote]
I'm sorry I'm simplifying things, but this is not med school, it's a forum with a lot of transphobia.

It's been tried. A lot. It failed, like gay conversion therapy. Empirical evidence shows it doesn't work.

Do you have a link to this claim?

Also, you clearly have not taken the time to learn about what gender identity (which is different from stereotypes) actually is

What exactly is 'gender identity' then, because trans activists can't even give one coherent, logical definition. Subjective, internal feelings? It only has meaning to those who believe in gender ideology.

The op's child is probably uncomfortable with her changing body. I was at that age. It's perfectly normal. The difference is that back then there was no social media and peer pressure and Indoctrination into the new gender religion. Why are the trans lobby so hell bent on not allowing these girls bodies and brains to develop naturally to maturity?

I'd be saying that I would support her BUT only if she agrees to some external counselling. At 14 I think there are cases where transgender is unequivocal. I also see a lot of on-trend behaviours is my 14 year old DDs peer group.

Physical transition is a big step that should be done with the right level of emotional, medical and family support.

@DialSquare

So if the only way to treat dysphoria is to transition, why do we have detransitioners?

Good question: because no diagnosis is 100% certain. Also, most detransitioners do so because of social pressure, so the answer could also be : bigotry.

[quote Iambecomethequeen]@Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople
Cause medical professionals already screen people to make sure they have GD and not other issues.[/quote]
That's not what seems to be coming from the whistle-blowers at The Tavistock. They have been concerned that affirmative therapy has been pushed at all costs, without properly investigating other issues that may be presenting.

@Iambecomethequeen

it's a forum with a lot of transphobia

Please can you point out where on this thread there is any transphobia?

There has been no transphobia on this thread. The replies reflect a concern for a distressed child.

I hope OP you've found some of these comments constructinve. There's an important review going on into the disgraceful state of health care for these vulnerable children - the Cass Review. Amidst a range of points from the interim report is the conclusion that they are receiving substandard, un evidenced "treatment" lacking in data, research and even common definitions. Just as seen on this thread, activists are determined that there's only one approach with immediate affirmation needed rather than thoughtful therapeutic treatment looking at all aspects of a child's mental health. If your child is confused about their sex, it really is a must read. Extract:
A fundamentally different service model is needed which is more in line with other paediatric provision, to provide timely and appropriate care for children and young people needing support around their gender identity. This must include support for any other clinical presentations that they may have

cass.independent-review.uk/publications/interim-report/

@Whatsnewpussyhat

Also, you clearly have not taken the time to learn about what gender identity (which is different from stereotypes) actually is

What exactly is 'gender identity' then, because trans activists can't even give one coherent, logical definition. Subjective, internal feelings? It only has meaning to those who believe in gender ideology.

The op's child is probably uncomfortable with her changing body. I was at that age. It's perfectly normal. The difference is that back then there was no social media and peer pressure and Indoctrination into the new gender religion. Why are the trans lobby so hell bent on not allowing these girls bodies and brains to develop naturally to maturity?

And this. To the posters trying to push this as a good thing to allow- Leave girls alone to grow up into healthy adult women . We condemn breast ironing as terrible and regressive, yet present breast binding, which has the same effect on breasts, as progressive.

It's been tried. A lot. It failed, like gay conversion therapy. Empirical evidence shows it doesn't work.

@Iambecomethequeen you really are spotting rubbish. The empirical studies out there show that 80 percent desist!

Body dysmorphic disorder is treated with therapy, not surgery, for example. “Gender dysphoria” is just the current name for “gender anxiety” (“dysphoria” just means discomfort. It wasn’t a term used much if at all before the last ten years).

The issue about sexual pleasure is important, because damaged breasts become even more of a focus for psychological avoidance, which precludes sexual enjoyment. How is a girl who hates her breasts because she’s been told they are a source of “dysphoria” going to learn to enjoy them sexually? And obviously, breasts that have been cut off do not give sexual pleasure. It’s the nipples that give women pleasure. A mastectomy cuts them off - no sexual pleasure from the breasts any more. (This is one of the reasons adult women who have to have mastectomies for medical reasons like cancer, often experience great distress and grieving at losing their breasts.)

Your posts sound very inexperienced and naive. It might be good to listen to the experiences and wisdom of older women sometimes. There are good reasons why older women know many teenage experiences are transient and social. Do you think we haven’t been there…?

OK so the answer could be bigotry.
Or trauma.
Or puberty distress.
Or Perry pressure.
Or contagion.
Or confused sexuality.
Or many other things. In the meantime, they causing irreparable damage to their bodies which many of them may regret. This is one of the concerns myself and many others have.

Iambecomethequeen

What do you think is the explanation for why nearly all people who want to transition in their teens are female, but nearly all people who transition later in life are male? Why is the drastic rise in teenage transitioners so disproportionately skewed towards females, if its the same as being left handed?

If it was just like being gay it would be totally equal in all age groups wouldn't it?

Perry -peer
Apologies I'm typing on my phone and have fat fingers.

I’d encourage your dd to wear clothing that disguises boobs, rather than compressing delicate breast tissue and lungs.

Binding is safe

Binding is NOT safe, and no ethical physiotherapist would advise this.

I weep for these girls who’ve been taught to be ashamed or scared of being female.

We condemn breast ironing as terrible and regressive, yet present breast binding, which has the same effect on breasts, as progressive.

There is a whiff of racism about it as well.

When brown people carry out breast ironing, that is primitive and barbaric and awful.

But when white Western teenage girls are binding their breasts, and then subsequently getting their breasts sliced off by surgeons who use hashtags such as #yeettheteets - that is progressive enlightenment.

Yes absolutely racism in that I agree.

[quote Horological]@Iambecomethequeen

it's a forum with a lot of transphobia

Please can you point out where on this thread there is any transphobia?

There has been no transphobia on this thread. The replies reflect a concern for a distressed child.[/quote]
Just for an example, someone claimed gender dysphoria is caused by trauma. But in general, this website is full of people saying "I'm not a transphobe, just concerned ".

But in general, this website is full of people saying "I'm not a transphobe, just concerned ".

You say that like it's a bad thing...

Sorry @Iambecomethequeen you must have missed the 2 other instances where I asked so thought I’d tag you so it doesn’t get lost again.

Why is transgender absolutely fine but transracial is not?

It is bad because it's used to hide bigotry, ignorance or misinformation, avoiding real solutions to fearmonger.

@Sexnotgender

Sorry *@Iambecomethequeen* you must have missed the 2 other instances where I asked so thought I’d tag you so it doesn’t get lost again.

Why is transgender absolutely fine but transracial is not?

Because sex and gender aren't the same thing. Look up "Transracial: revisited" on Youtube.

No, I want you to explain. That’s not an explanation.