Binding

[hartof]

My DD who is currently 14, told us in June 2020 she thought she was transgender. She had always been a "tomboy" we let her dress how she wanted. At the time I said nothing needed ti change as she can make herself look however she wants but we would t change anything hormonally until she was older.

She has never asked us to call her by another name, or refer to her as they or him.
She had her hair cut short later that year and last year we found a great barber who takes it shorter and makes her look amazing.

On Sunday she sent me a link to a binding bra, I don't know if I should say yes or no. I have no idea how it will affect her, but at this point I'm sure it's not a phase and this is how she sees herself. Any advice is dearly received.

( she/we have had no counselling she gets uncomfortable when I ask her questions ie when people have referred to her as male I asked if it bothers her and she won't answer me)

When the body part is causing you distress, it's hard to call it "healthy"

Their bodies are perfectly healthy. That's why dysphoria is a mental health issue!
If someone was 'distressed' by their legs would cutting them off be ok to provide validation?

Gender dysphoria is a recognized medical condition. No amount of "love your body" rhetoric will cure it. The only recognized cure is transitioning

What a load of shit. Dysphoria isn't a 'cause' being 'trans', it is a symptom of many mental health issues, a response to trauma, internalised honomphobia, social contagion etc etc.

Gender is sex role stereotypes, not some innate magic essence.

Trans used to mean a tiny number of mostly male, homosexual transexuals.
Now it means whatever anyone says it is.

How do you explain the grown men who claim to be women without any dysphoria who are happy with their male body and change nothing?

When the body part is causing you distress, it's hard to call it "healthy".

Of course its a healthy body part. Do you advocate for teenagers just slicing off any part of their body they don't like at that moment in time, not just breasts? As PP said, do we encourage people with anorexia to continue to lose weight, because their body at a healthy weight distresses them? If someone is distressed by their body at a healthy weight, does that make their body 'unhealthy?

Do you acknowledge that puberty is a really difficult time for girls, as they realise that their growing breasts cause unwanted attention for males and they start to be completely sexualised by just existing in a female body? Do you not think that has any bearing whatsoever on the sudden explosion of girls wanting to 'transition' as they are presented with a way to avoid this?

Would you pay for her to get a tattoo?

@Iambecomethequeen Why do you keep talking about dysphoria? We are talking about the OP's child, not you. If you want to talk about your experiences, start another thread.

@Iambecomethequeen

Anorexia is treated by solving the body image issue, but the only way to solve dysphoria is transitioning

Do you realise this that this does not make sense written down?

So let's get this straight:

Being trans is not a mental health issue (just like being gay innit) but if you are trans then simply having breasts causes one such immense distress that the breasts themselves are no longer healthy and therefore a mastectomy is required?

@Whatsnewpussyhat
" Dysphoria isn't a 'cause' being 'trans', it is a symptom of many mental health issues, a response to trauma, internalised honomphobia, social contagion etc etc. "

Source: trust me bro. Continue to deny medical consensus.
Also, you clearly have not taken the time to learn about what gender identity (which is different from stereotypes) actually is.

[quote Clymene]@Iambecomethequeen Why do you keep talking about dysphoria? We are talking about the OP's child, not you. If you want to talk about your experiences, start another thread. [/quote]
Because if OP's child says she's trans, she probably has dysphoria. It's quite simple really.

[quote Horological]@Iambecomethequeen

Anorexia is treated by solving the body image issue, but the only way to solve dysphoria is transitioning

Do you realise this that this does not make sense written down?[/quote]
It makes perfect sense. Anorexia can be cured with therapy, dysphoria cannot.

Source: trust me bro.

Oh, well you should have said that in the first place. Totally believe everything you say now!

Because if OP's child says she's trans, she probably has dysphoria. It's quite simple really.

So is it a mental illness or not?

@Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople

When the body part is causing you distress, it's hard to call it "healthy".

Of course its a healthy body part. Do you advocate for teenagers just slicing off any part of their body they don't like at that moment in time, not just breasts? As PP said, do we encourage people with anorexia to continue to lose weight, because their body at a healthy weight distresses them? If someone is distressed by their body at a healthy weight, does that make their body 'unhealthy?

Do you acknowledge that puberty is a really difficult time for girls, as they realise that their growing breasts cause unwanted attention for males and they start to be completely sexualised by just existing in a female body? Do you not think that has any bearing whatsoever on the sudden explosion of girls wanting to 'transition' as they are presented with a way to avoid this?

It has no bearing. More trans visibility and healthcare does. Just like there was an "explosion" of left handed people after stigma around that diminished.

Keep fearmongering.

It makes perfect sense. Anorexia can be cured with therapy, dysphoria cannot.

Why not? How are they different? They are both distress with one's body, so why can one be cured with therapy and one not?

Or do you believe its actually possible to be born in the 'wrong body'. Because Mermaids backtracked on that one a good while ago now.

@Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople

Because if OP's child says she's trans, she probably has dysphoria. It's quite simple really.

So is it a mental illness or not?

Dysphoria is. Being trans isn't. If you don't get the difference, I'm sorry you never took the time to get informed.

OP, please do not put any faith in any links to GenderGP info - the owners of which have been banned from prescribing in the U.K. and are both currently in the middle of tribunals examining issues of serious medical malpractice and clinically inadequate care for trans patients. They are the absolutely last source to go to for good information.

Binding has been shown to cause damage to breast tissue amongst other things, as op said above. But the most persuasive argument for teens is that binding often causes the breasts to look ugly as the tissue gets damaged - and this then causes additional dysphoria and makes it more likely that a teenager will seek a mastectomy. Much better to try a sports bra but wear it sparingly, maybe only for school and going out. Because if she does desist, she doesn’t want damaged and saggy breasts to contend with as well making her feel worse about her body.

One thing that never really gets mentioned in these debates about binding is the potential for sexual pleasure. Teenage girls often have not much idea that their breasts could become the source of sexual pleasure because

@Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople

It makes perfect sense. Anorexia can be cured with therapy, dysphoria cannot.

Why not? How are they different? They are both distress with one's body, so why can one be cured with therapy and one not?

Or do you believe its actually possible to be born in the 'wrong body'. Because Mermaids backtracked on that one a good while ago now.

It's been tried. A lot. It failed, like gay conversion therapy. Empirical evidence shows it doesn't work.

It has no bearing. More trans visibility and healthcare does. Just like there was an "explosion" of left handed people after stigma around that diminished.

Do you acknowledge that it happens? That teenage girls get distressed when they start growing breasts due to the realisation that they are now being sexualised? Why are you so adamant there is no connection, it would make sense wouldn't it? Do you not think its worth investigation, especially given the very negative physical effects of medical and surgical transition on the female body?

Or are you going to just stick with 'yeah, it's just like being left handed'...

So how come some women can have a penis but girls have to bind their boobs?

I had to wear a back brace briefly - JFC it was a bloody torture. You can’t sit or stand or lie down without discomfort, you can’t eat properly and it felt like a gorilla was hugging me. Couldn’t wait to get the damn thing off.

As a teen I was incredibly skinny with a D cup. Hated it - well hated the comments - but wore baggy clothes until I got a little older and realised it was fine.

Also, what is it with the 2 posts about sexual pleasure from breasts? As if binding prevented experimenting with one's body.

I think it's so good she sent you a link to the bra, you've obviously built a really lovely relationship where she feels safe to discuss this with you. ♥️

@KittenKong

So how come some women can have a penis but girls have to bind their boobs?

I had to wear a back brace briefly - JFC it was a bloody torture. You can’t sit or stand or lie down without discomfort, you can’t eat properly and it felt like a gorilla was hugging me. Couldn’t wait to get the damn thing off.

As a teen I was incredibly skinny with a D cup. Hated it - well hated the comments - but wore baggy clothes until I got a little older and realised it was fine.

They don't have to. That's what OP's daughter wants. Are you capable of distinguishing the 2?

@Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople
Cause medical professionals already screen people to make sure they have GD and not other issues.

What a brilliant idea. She's 14!? It's well known that 14 year olds make the wisest decisions in life.

If she finds her feet too big she could bind them too? Excellent.

@Iambecomethequeen

It makes perfect sense. Anorexia can be cured with therapy, dysphoria cannot

This statement shows how little you know about psychology. Therapy does not 'cure' anorexia. Recovering from an eating disorder is much more complex then that and many people with dysphoria do find therapy useful.

Sorry pressed send too soon!

Cont. — very little of the male-pleasure dominated porn or media that teenagers see presents breasts as part of their bodies that might give them pleasure or fulfilment, as opposed to being fetishy funbags for the male gaze. I had big breasts and as a teen wore minimiser bras as I was so ashamed that I couldn’t wear strappy tops and so on. I had no idea that my breasts could be essential to my future sex life and my own pleasure. It’s something nearer to teenagers’ more immediate future experience than the potential for breastfeeding is.

I do feel sympathy for teenager girls who internalise their bodily anxieties as wanting to erase or hide their bodies. But they don’t yet know that their bodies can be a positive part of their life and sex life. And like it or not, lots of girls are currently identifying as “trans” because it’s a social fashion, very much like anorexia was thirty years ago and cutting twenty years ago. They feel it’s permanent, but we all know how transient teenage identities are.