Binding

[hartof]

My DD who is currently 14, told us in June 2020 she thought she was transgender. She had always been a "tomboy" we let her dress how she wanted. At the time I said nothing needed ti change as she can make herself look however she wants but we would t change anything hormonally until she was older.

She has never asked us to call her by another name, or refer to her as they or him.
She had her hair cut short later that year and last year we found a great barber who takes it shorter and makes her look amazing.

On Sunday she sent me a link to a binding bra, I don't know if I should say yes or no. I have no idea how it will affect her, but at this point I'm sure it's not a phase and this is how she sees herself. Any advice is dearly received.

( she/we have had no counselling she gets uncomfortable when I ask her questions ie when people have referred to her as male I asked if it bothers her and she won't answer me)

@Iambecomethequeen

Also, forgot to point out 2 things:

• You should really ask doctors for medical advice.
• If you ask anything trans related on Mumsnet, 90% of what you'll get is fearmongering. That's the climate on the platform.

Why are you here then? As I said before, no GP will advocate binding.

If OP's daughter is trans, not binding could cause her a lot of distress that no amount of denial will help.

If....

Given that the majority of teenage girls who say they are trans realise they are not when they grow up, it's far more likely binding will be detrimental to her health.

A sports bra may well be the compromise here OP.

@Iambecomethequeen

Being trans isn't reversible. It isn't a choice. These myths actively kill people.

So what’s a detransitioner then?

No chance what so ever.

@titchy

If OP's daughter is trans, not binding could cause her a lot of distress that no amount of denial will help.

If....

Given that the majority of teenage girls who say they are trans realise they are not when they grow up, it's far more likely binding will be detrimental to her health.

A sports bra may well be the compromise here OP.

"the majority of teenage girls who say they are trans realise they are not when they grow up" Source?

If she isn’t comfortable talking about it and won’t even speak to you/answer questions or consider counselling then I’d wonder about why she is doing this. Teaching her to vocalise and explore her feelings is more supportive than just paying for things she texts you a link to.

I would actually sit down and speak to her, and explain that you think it’s time for her to speak to someone and explore her feelings because she needs support with them if she’s going to start trying to make changes to her body.

As we've already discussed, @Iambecomethequeen, those are the facts.

Even the articles the horrific doctor you referenced agree that 'In other words, the children who actually met the clinical guidelines for gender dysphoria as children generally ended up as transgender adults. Further research has shown that children who meet the clinical guidelines for gender dysphoria are as consistent in their gender identity as the general population.'

That is their beef with the 80% desistance stat. Not that it's not true but that those kids weren't really trans.

Given the OP's child hasn't seen a GP, has not had a diagnosis or even an assessment, I don't think any of us are remotely qualified to say where her head is at.

Why are you so keen on pushing girls to mutilate their bodies? It looks very creepy

'Safe binding' my absolute arse. And then to try and back up your argument with a link to the fucking Gender GP website?

I could weep for these poor girls.

Queen the source is the women all around you

Gender dysphoria is a recognized medical condition. No amount of "love your body" rhetoric will cure it. The only recognized cure is transitioning. If OP's daughter is trans, not binding could cause her a lot of distress that no amount of denial will help.

Hang on, I thought it was super transphobic to suggest that being trans is a medical condition or mental illness?

Which is why I didn't. I talked about a medical diagnosis, not being trans in general.

@Clymene
"Mutilating their bodies"? We're talking about a binder, for god's sake.

@Iambecomethequeen

Which is why I didn't. I talked about a medical diagnosis, not being trans in general.

Which is irrelevant to the OP, isn't it? Because her daughter hasn't spoken to anyone.

Why are you here, pushing harmful practices?

Yes we are talking about a binder

Which compresses the tissue Which is not good for the tissue- which is in fact harmful to the tissue

Which is why they come with health warnings - don't get one tight, don't wear all day ....

[quote Iambecomethequeen]@Clymene
"Mutilating their bodies"? We're talking about a binder, for god's sake.[/quote]
Yep, which damages breast tissues, can destroy the ability to breastfeed and impacts the lymphatic syste

@Iambecomethequeen

Which is why I didn't. I talked about a medical diagnosis, not being trans in general.

Yes you did. You said that if the OPs daughter didn't bind it could cause her 'a lot of distress'. That sounds like a mental illness to me?

[quote Iambecomethequeen]@Clymene
"Mutilating their bodies"? We're talking about a binder, for god's sake.[/quote]
You said 'she probably eventually wants them gone'. By this you mean a total double mastectomy of her perfectly healthy breasts ie. Mutilation.

Everyone on this thread can read you know.....

@Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople
Yeah, and I didn't say she should get it. I only said it was probable, which is different. Also, calling top surgery mutilation is obviously bigoted. This is getting ridiculous.

Well what do you call removing healthy body parts ?

@mudgetastic

Well what do you call removing healthy body parts ?

When the body part is causing you distress, it's hard to call it "healthy".

Do you know how many teenage girls hate their body because of the way men look at it? If you believe she “probably wants them gone” rather than doesn’t want them to draw unwanted attention, then I’m not convinced you were ever a teenage girl @Iambecomethequeen.

I don't think I could support binding. But I was looking at these sports bras recently. They're made by women for the sore boob part of your cycle.

www.rohnisch.com/gb/en/product/infinite-flex-sportsbra-black-1106490001.html

When the body part is causing you distress, it's hard to call it "healthy

Do you apply the same logic to anorexics? Would you agree that it's fine for then to starve themselves if their healthy body is causing them distress?

@DialSquare

When the body part is causing you distress, it's hard to call it "healthy

Do you apply the same logic to anorexics? Would you agree that it's fine for then to starve themselves if their healthy body is causing them distress?

The majority of medical professionals agrees those aren't the same things. Anorexia is treated by solving the body image issue, but the only way to solve dysphoria is transitioning. You can disagree, just know you're demonstrably wrong.

[quote Iambecomethequeen]@Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople
Yeah, and I didn't say she should get it. I only said it was probable, which is different. Also, calling top surgery mutilation is obviously bigoted. This is getting ridiculous.[/quote]
I used the word mutilation because that's the word Sir Robert Winston uses. I don't think he's a bigot, he's an eminent scientist.

The word mutilation means inflicting serious damage. Binding breasts causes serious damage. It's not bigoted to clearly explain the risks