DS is transgender (ftm)16 and happy

[crazyhat]

He is ftm (female to male) and 16, he has been on Testosterone for 7 months and is getting top surgery (breast removal) at 17, over summer. I want to help people understand transgenderism, as I see a lot of casual transphobia on here. Feel free to ask any questions about transitioning, anything is okay to ask, I just want you to understand.

If you have a DC in a similar situation I can help.

Daaps have you heard of peer discussion and social media? What makes you think the OP told her son his body was wrong?

No happy child wants to chop off healthy body parts. You need to dig a little deeper OP and not let the risk of thoughtcrime put you off.

Have you looked at the information provided by Transgender Trend?

What about speaking to people who have transitioned from female to male and those who have detransitioned?

Your child might enjoy meeting others going through the same thing.

Has your child ever considered having children? Will they freeze eggs?

Do they realise a lifetime on cross sex hormones is likely to reduce their life expectancy?

what help are you offering to those who have dc in a similar situation op?

Interesting article here :
news.sky.com/story/hundreds-of-young-trans-people-seeking-help-to-return-to-original-sex-11827740

I am also quite horrified at you apportioning future blame on your child at a time when they are young and need support and guidance, not encouragement to alter their body in an unnatural way.

You also talked upthread about girls being "confused".

This article looks at why so many girls a 4,000% increase are being referred to gender ID clinics:
www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/7362652/changing-gender-new-anorexia/

Just to be clear, he doesn't think he's a man because of stereotypes, he is someone feminine (more into musicals than football) but it's because of his body. He strongly believes that he should've been born male and that can't be equated to "but I identify as a penguin so should I be allowed to become a penguin" I don't know why it occured, and I was absolutely distraught to find out my DD was going to be my son. I couldn't believe it and I dislike the name he chose. But looking back to his childhood, he hated growing breasts and he always wanted facial hair. I can't help but see this is the only way for him. I was trying to help you understand but many people are talking about his romantic and sex life, it has nothing to do with society, it's about how he sees himself.

I can't work our what the OP's angle is here

I rarely mention this on Mumsnet for obvious reasons but I am parent to a MtF trans DC who is also 16.

I am fucking devastated.

I am gender critical but saying the ops child can't have a partner is ridiculous. Of course they can.

My question to the op is did you consider therapy to help your child accept their body as they are instead of changing the body?

Your poor child. Society has created this. We live in such an unhealthy society
The gay men I know would be very offended that a female would claim to be a gay man, just like lesbians being expected to accept 'women' with penises
How sad your child couldn't be supported to accept their own body and realise their full potential within that body. Instead they will wreck their body as T is very harmful to females

I was trying to help you understand but many people are talking about his romantic and sex life
Why do you think people shouldn't ask you about that? Have you thought about it?

To have dysphoria at the age of 16 so severe you choose to have major, painful, irreversible surgery. Even just taking testosterone and the potential medical consequences of that. That's so sad. I'm sorry OP.

@runawaywithusthissummer I'm sorry. It must be so hard. I don't think you'd get a negative response though. There's no hate or transphobic on spite of popular opinion. I think you'd get some real help and comfort if you felt able to talk about it here

I really feel for your child. How your child feels at 16 will be different to them at age 26.
Thank God I outgrew my feelings as a 16 year old, but also I am so pleased no one let me starve my body to death (anorexia) because I wanted to be thin and had body dysmorohia (but didn’t realized it).
Thank God for my family and friends that I’m still here and the people around me recognized that although an underweight body suited my mentally deranged thoughts at the time, they saw I needed help as I was mentally ill. They did not let me ruin my body because of mental health problems thank God they were able to spot this and help me, that’s all I can say.
And lucky for me 26 year old me looked back and saw how thin I was as a 16 year old but the disorder was all in my head and then I could see how 16 year old me thought differently. Mental illness is real.
Oh dear.

I am gender critical but saying the ops child can't have a partner is ridiculous. Of course they can

Yeah, but if they are trying to date men as a female who looks like a male then they are going to struggle. Gay men don't fancy female bodies and straight men don't fancy males.

odd comments here about his relationships.., I've met several mtf and ftm trans people and none of them are/were single - gay or not

There are people that fancy trans people specifically and someone bi could be cool with it.

The other thing to remember @crazyhat is that the human brain goes on developing until the mid twenties, therefore it's highly unlikely that the brain of a 16 year old is capable of fully comprehending the long term implications of surgery or hormones. One documentary i saw had a ftm person who said at the time of her transition she honestly believed it was humanly possible for her to end up with a real penis (eg one that functions like that of a man). Nobody ever took the time to explain her only option was a sort of desensitised blow up penis replica made from her inner arm tissue which would not provide any sexual pleasure. These 'details' are anything but and the fact these things are not being made explicit prior to commencing transition is criminal in my view.