DS is transgender (ftm)16 and happy

[crazyhat]

He is ftm (female to male) and 16, he has been on Testosterone for 7 months and is getting top surgery (breast removal) at 17, over summer. I want to help people understand transgenderism, as I see a lot of casual transphobia on here. Feel free to ask any questions about transitioning, anything is okay to ask, I just want you to understand.

If you have a DC in a similar situation I can help.

You did tell people to ask questions OP. That's what they're doing.

@pemberlyshades he is not, and never has been, a lesbian. He likes men, he's gay

Regardless of the politics surrounding trans issues, do you fear the medicalisation of your child? Drugs and surgery are a big deal. Are there any other (ideally less invasive) treatment routes that you have explored? I’m just really aware of how heightened my emotions were due to hormones at that age. Now that they’ve settled down, I really do think and feel differently. I don’t want to disrespect you or your child’s choices. But I was convinced that suicide was the best option for me when I was 15-17. It took a long time and a lot of therapy for me to come round to a different way of thinking. If people had allowed me to take that route, I wouldn’t be here now. Do you ever worry that your child may live to regret the permanence of surgery?

The happy son better than a dead daughter is a myth based on statistics taken from a badly designed study.

If your child had been anorexic would you have supported them to lose weight?

Will their dysphoria get worse if they have phalloplasty? The damage done to limbs to get the skin is frightening and it's not a working penis.

It's awful that your child is so unhappy that they believe mutilating their body will make them happier. I'd be destroyed at the idea that my daughter wanted to cause her beautiful healthy body so much harm

If he detransitions, which I highly doubt, we have discussed that it is his fault and he's said many times that he wouldn't want us to do anything different. This is what he needs now and he can't blame us. No one can know who's transgender apart from the person themselves.

OP, just now you posted this on another thread

My DS (now ftm) used to identify as non binary, but they grow out of it, a lot of ftm people were confused and id as nb.

I'd like to ask a question. You say your child 'grew out of non binary. How do you know they won't change their view point again?

@SciFiscream he does not want phalloplasty. As he is aware of the pros and cons. He said if he wanted to do anything "down there" he'd wait till he's 30 and in a stable job where he can afford to take so much time off

It won't be their fault because they're a child. It would be your fault.

But they can know how people are generally manipulated, what the common factors are etc. Why would you not want to talk to as many people as possible?

he does not want phalloplasty

Ok that is a relief.

If he detransitions, which I highly doubt, we have discussed that it is his fault

Wow. You really said that to a 16 year old? Bloody hell

@handsoffmyrights he was never sure in the first place. A lot of girls think they're nb and then never take any more steps. A lot of transguys identify as nb, mostly because it's difficult to go straight from female to male, and it's difficult to ever be sure. He is sure now though, and that's what counts. Personally I don't believe in nb and nor does he

If he detransitions, which I highly doubt, we have discussed that it is his fault

Fucking hell.

I think that's a real shame. I find it worrying that a whole segment of the population isn't being consulted, despite having hands on lived experiances. Doesn't surprise me that it's women whose voices are not being heard.

think I was in my 20s ( second year uni) before I was reconciled to being female. Now however , I am glad I never had the opportunities given to children today. Every surgery, every pill you take have side effects and damage your body long term. Even my asthma meds affect my circulation.

Your child is attracted to men. Have you seen the revulsion that a significant majority of gay men feel about vulvas?

Your child may struggle to find an intimate partner

Has your child heard about the pain that female bodies on testosterone who transition experience when they orgasm?

What about the long term effects of all the cross sex hormones?

They are sacrificing long-term health, sexual function and sexual enjoyment for a possibly short-term improvement in their self-image.

The brain isn't finished developing until about age 25. So much could change in the next 8 years.

If he detransitions, which I highly doubt, we have discussed that it is his fault

Literally one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever read

He might never have been female (whatever that means) but he was a girl and always will be in terms of sex
It’s good he’s happy, I hope he stays that way

@crazyhat does he have a good relationship with you and his dad?