DS is transgender (ftm)16 and happy

[crazyhat]

He is ftm (female to male) and 16, he has been on Testosterone for 7 months and is getting top surgery (breast removal) at 17, over summer. I want to help people understand transgenderism, as I see a lot of casual transphobia on here. Feel free to ask any questions about transitioning, anything is okay to ask, I just want you to understand.

If you have a DC in a similar situation I can help.

Do you genuinely believe he will be happy when transitioned? I don't believe most really pass. I have worked in the next office to a ftm transexual for 10 years and it was only this year I found out they were trans, I had thought they were a lesbian. I worry that people with mental health issues believe transitioning will solve their problems but nothing solves all your problems

Don't be pedantic, that's just childish

Youve no idea what autumn may or may not be going through

I dont think there is any need to be mean

@ everyone calling him "her"
If you saw him in public you'd know he's a "he" even far before even knowing he's trans he looked "like a boy" [don't be pedantic about that] but that wasn't even my choice. Please don't call him "her" it's disrespectful.

Not necessarily @Mumoftwoyoungkids haven't you heard of the thousands of detranstioners out there? They started to make those changes to their bodies then changed their minds. Because that's what people do. Or are you in the no true trans camp?

Of course I have heard of them. They scare the hell out of me as I could have been one of them. Thank god I was born before this all took off. Am terrified for my dd though - she is very similar to me and fast approaching puberty.

But it framed it as a fact of life that I needed to get on with. I don’t think I did have gender dysphoria.

Which is sort of an important difference don't you think? I wonder what the effects of telling a dysphoric person that they need to get on with it would be?

Your example is like me going onto a thread about anorexia and saying I know exactly what it's like because I once went on a diet ie I've got no idea because the too things aren't in anyway similar.

All of the posters telling the op how wrong she is and that her job is to support her child in not transitioning - what exactly should she have done instead? Many are saying get counselling but a poster asked for help finding a counsellor because she can't find one and no one has made any suggestions so do they exist? It sounds like you are all just telling op how wrong she is but actually don't know what else can be done.

Hi OP, I don't know if you saw my question earlier, I was wonder is the testosterone from 16 privately prescribed or via a NHS pathway?

Please don't call him "her" it's disrespectful.

Your child is female. Even after surgery to remove healthy body parts, they will still be female.

@penguincity

1. he already passes
2. he knows surgery is the right decision because the transition steps he's already made has made him so much happier

What about your DC's appearance was boy-like?

So, have I got this right, hearhooves, if someone is struggling to find a counselling service, they should opt for surgical removal of healthy body parts and hormone treatment that leaves the patient infertile?

Have you heard of watchful waiting? It’s what psychologists recommend for many mental health conditions.

Which is sort of an important difference don't you think? I wonder what the effects of telling a dysphoric person that they need to get on with it would be?

My worry is what is the effect of telling someone who isn’t dysphoric but who is finding puberty really hard that they can become the other sex?

And how do you tell the difference?

Op I am sorry you are getting such a hard time. MN undoubtedly has a lot of transphobia. It baffles me and I don't normally even click on trans threads because they are all depressing for this reason.....

I hope your son becomes much happier and that you become fully comfortable with his journey also. Xx

@familyofaliens he may be assigned female at birth, but I don't think it's true to say that he's 100% Biologically female. Further more, my point was that if you saw him in the street, you'd refer to him as male, unless whenever you see a shortish male you go up to them to check if they have a penis before gendering them as male...

I think you were absolutely wrong to allow your child to go down this path op. I fear you will regret it in the future and so will your child, robbed of their healthy body at a very vulnerable age. These are bleak times.

he already passes

And yet has breasts? How does that work?

My iPad is has been ruined by the latest update so I can’t link

But in terms of regrets, if you look on YouTube you can see a surgeon, Johanna Olson Kennedy, saying that if you have your breasts removed and later decide you want them, you can get further surgery.

No baby is assigned a sex at birth. Their sex is observed and recorded.

@familyofaliens it's called binding, some what controversial, I'm sure that's a point you're going to move on to.

What about your DC's appearance was boy-like?

If there's no such thing as boy like (or girl like) how come do many posters claim that trans gender people "never pass"? If there's no way to look male or female there would be no way to pass or not would there?

Hi crazyhat

Hi crazyhat - I can see you're getting lots of questions. So you might not have seen my recent post.

Just something to be mindful of. None of the four, from what I've read about them, would have thought they'd been where they are now, back at 16/17 years of age.

Have you seen their blogs before? I'd be interested in your thoughts, given that your child is at the same age and, from the sound of it, having very similar feelings that they did?

Have you seen these lovely people crazyhat?

I'm not passing any judgement, just conscious you may not have come across other viewpoints from young people almost the same age as your child.

www.piqueresproject.com/

Hi all, as you can imagine this thread is getting a large number of reports. We are going to close it to new comments for now to give us a chance to catch up, and reopen it in due course.

*we are in UK, the surgeon is located in Hull

Brian?*

@Melroses genuinely laughed out loud at that.

How can he not be 100% biologically female? What part of him is male?

(The pronoun thing just mucks up these sentences but I do follow your pronoun)

And of course your child is 100% biologically female, unless there is some chromosomal abnormality you haven’t mentioned.