Nonbinary Lesbian Answering Questions

[ash2301]

Hi- I'm a nonbinary lesbian teen, and I want to help answer parents' questions about their LGBT+ kids/any other questions you have. Please be respectful, but there's no such thing as a stupid question

It's exhausting

I hope the OP does come back and I hope she takes the opportunity to ask some questions too.
OP - we were you. Many of the women here have felt the feelings you are experiencing. We may not have had the vocabulary of 2019 back in the 80s/90s but many of us rejected society’s gendered stereotypes just like you are doing now.

@whatisthisfuckery
A big unmumsnetty hug to you.

Whatis 🍻 Cheers, sister.

I am taking a break from answering questions on this thread for now. I would like to publicly state that this is because it gets very emotionally taxing to read the less supportive comments, not because I am a coward. I will check in and answer any new, constructive questions some time tomorrow.

So you only want to hear the questions you want to hear is what you're basically saying?

What did you hope would come of this thread? You'd get to "educate" parents about their kids?

What questions will you deem 'constructive'? Comes as across as not very inclusive & quite selective.

You're going to have a pretty hard life ahead of you if you're a teenager and are 'triggered' by a word.

@Whatisthisfuckery 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Nonbinary means not to exclusively identify as male or female

But it means very little if you don't define the terms "male" and "female" other than labels for biology.

Biologically female, attracted to biological females - is usually described as lesbian. You don't define as butch lesbian so far as I can gather.

What are the "male" parts and what makes them male rather than female who doesn't conform to early 21st century gender stereotypes?

Well, you’re going to struggle a LOT in life, people will call you she/her/miss/madam/mrs etc EVERY DAY for the rest of your life....

Only biologically female people can be lesbians as lesbianism is same sex attraction. So you couldn't feel the way you feel and have been observed male at birth, because biologically male people cannot be lesbians, they don't fit the definition.

fuckery 👏👏👏

OP, I get the pronoun thing, I really do. I have always hated being referred to by female pronouns. From a very young age .. but in the 70s they/them it really wasn’t a thing. So I had to put up with it.

I now realise it was just an internalised extension of that stereotype effect (where girls do worse in exams if you remind them of stereotypes before they start compared to if you don’t www.reuters.com/article/us-maths-girls/girls-do-badly-at-math-when-told-boys-better-study-idUSN2242207920070524)

Hi ash (when your cone back from your break - obviously please do put your mental health first).

Please could you tell me more about the non-binary part of your and what that means to you?

I generally don't feel like a woman, becausethat didnt make any sense to me. I just am. I like to wear trousers and clothes that are generally not associated with a specific gender. I think having a penis would be handy for weeing and I'd like the benefits of being male like status, respect and salary raises. I don't identify as anything other than female, and I don't understand how my feelings about myself are much different to yours about yourself. Are you able to articulate non binary to me in a way I could better understand?

Amazing how may young non binary, trans, etc find their way to Mumsnet, isn’t it? I wonder what makes them decide to try to educate 🙄 the, mostly, women on Mumsnet. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Surely all lesbians are gender non conforming. The not fancying men thing is very much not conforming to female stereotypes and expectations.

Do they pipe the kool-aid directly into the mains water supply of schools/colleges/universities now?

Why isn't it enough anymore to wear black and listen to music your parents hate?

An ex bemoaned that I no longer looked like the rock chick I was from 14-18. I told him I'd grown up, expanded my tastes, and despite still loving all the bands I did when I was a teen, I no longer felt it necessary to advertise who I was to the world. My musical tastes are part of me, they don't define me and therefore I no longer rock a Metallica T-shirt most days.

Your sexuality is part of you, how you identify will become just another part of you and in time you'll probably no longer feel the need to advertise to the world that you are "different and special" because you'll realise as we all did that no one gives a fuck.

Being 'triggered' by quite ordinary things is a sign of poor mental health. Get that sorted first - explain the huge anxiety that being referred to as your actual sex. Then find a
Psychiatrist willing to treat your anxiety rather than give you a silly PoMo label. You have to deal with the world as it is, OP. That's the only route to good mental health that I know of.

I’m confused.

Do you have a penis?

Gender really is a pile of poo. It means nothing.

Do you have a penis?

This should help the OP: quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5d8bd07d504e4c0014e5dcc5

You are 100% female, you might not feel like conforming to stereotypes but you can't identify out of your biological sex.

It smacks of people trying to be ‘interesting’. How can you know what ‘feeling like a woman’ feels like?

It’s just a case of not liking or feeling comfortable with stereotypes of female behaviour/
activities/ looks. Who does?

Amazing how may young non binary, trans, etc find their way to Mumsnet, isn’t it? I wonder what makes them decide to try to educate 🙄 the, mostly, women on Mumsnet.

I was just thinking along the same lines and was going to ask the OP how they stumbled across Mumsnet? My teens would have zero interest in seeking out anything resembling a parenting website, let alone posting on one.

Is this the new version of mansplaining? Transplaining why we are all wrong.......

I think people read about how bad Mumsnet is on the likes of Prick News and come along for a look.

Why does it bother you what pronouns are used when you aren't around. People never call me her/she when I am present, it is done to refer to me when I am not there.

What about she/her makes you uncomfortable. Why would a word that it is no way derogatory make you uncomfortable?