Nonbinary Lesbian Answering Questions

[ash2301]

Hi- I'm a nonbinary lesbian teen, and I want to help answer parents' questions about their LGBT+ kids/any other questions you have. Please be respectful, but there's no such thing as a stupid question

Triggering? Of what? Do you have PTSD?

Actually hearing people use she/her for me is triggering and can cause panic attacks depending on context

That's a very extreme reaction. As is being angry with people who don't do what you ask in this way. Have you spoken to anyone about support for these feelings?

Of dysphoria and anxiety.

Okay I'm sorry I know this thread is for asking questions not giving opinions but I actually think this is out of hand. Why are as a society allowing this nonsense to consume them. Our children are going to grow up with hoards of psychological issues if we allow this to continue. People are scared to speak incase they in some way offend these people who are impossible not to offend. I despair I really do.

Do you mean how would I feel if I heard you use she/her or how would I feel about the fact that you refused? Obviously I wouldn't be thrilled that you refused to respect my pronouns, but I'd just be irate. Actually hearing people use she/her for me is triggering and can cause panic attacks depending on context (refusal vs. not realising)
If you were answering me no I didn't mean that at all, whilst I don't completely agree with your views and beliefs I would respect your wishes. I meant as I said before pronouns such as he/she/they are rarely used in front of you because of course these are only used talking about someone rather than to someone. So considering it's not very often you will hear someone say "they" about you why does it bother you? It will mostly be when you're not there at people will talk about you and for all you know everyone might refer to you as she/her behind your back (I'm sure they aren't I'm just using this as an example). Asking people to refer to you as they or them is essentially asking them to talk about you in a certain way when you aren't even there

It's distressing to you to not receive the label you want from people, but you think it's ok to label other people as nonbinary who never described themselves as such just because it suits your narrative?

That's unpleasant.

Been through the mental health system and am out the other side

I think you'd be better served keeping this discussion above the waste OP. MN tend to delete new posters who claim to be teen girls discussing penises, for obvious reasons.

I don't like not having a penis, for example

Why don't you just identify as having one. Problem solved.

Do you not think you'll look back on this in 5 years time and be a bit...embarassed?

Look, if you can't and won't define female then you know this is all bullshit.

I hope you get the mental health support you need to tolerate being in the world.

Peddling these ideas makes you just as supportive of rigid patriarchal notions of gender as, say, Trump.

Mary Wollstonecraft said ‘mind has no gender’. You might want to look her up

Hi :)

1. There are lots of young bitch/femme lesbians. Some butches in particular now identify as nonbinary also but plenty don't.
2. This has never been an issue for me or my friends. I know several trans women, some of them attracted to women, and none of them have ever pressured anyone into anything or even made advances.

In fact id have TOTALLY gone down this rabbit hole at that age. I’d have been an asexual non binary vampire. All willowy and ethereal

Yep. I would have really enjoyed it as well. All teenagers want to make a mark by being different. I'm also really glad there was no internet when I was a teen.

I do find the panic attack thing if not called by the correct pronouns quite alarming though, this stuff does teenagers no favours and makes you feel nervous around them incase you get it wrong. Although I'd have enjoyed people feeling nervous around me when young. Like a power trip.

I do wish you well OP, being a teenager sucks, I wouldn't do it again if I was paid.

you think it's ok to label other people as nonbinary who never described themselves as such just because it suits your narrative? That's unpleasant.

I work with teens. They all have a very black and white view of every issue; if OP is real, she has clearly indicated vulnerability. She's also more reasonable than some adults.

Been through the mental health system and am out the other side

Do you think your desire to control the language of others is healthy, OP? Would it be better to accept the things you can't control about yourself?

*BUTCH I am so sorry that was my autocorrect

Do you feel you have to label yourself? And explain your chosen label? Can you not just be?

Oh fair point, thanks

Hi OP, i spent most of my early years refusing to wear girls clothes, climbing trees, riding bikes. As a teen I stomped around in DMs and rejected every sex stereotype society placed on me. I’ve been pretty non-binary most of my life.

So excuse my ignorance but if you are female and generally look female, how do you expect other people in society to know to refer to you as them/they when they observe you are a biological woman?

Female means to identify as a girl/woman. I also use "biologically female", the meaning of which is obvious.

Female means to identify as a girl/woman

No, it doesn't. You cannot change dictionary definitions to suit your cause.

Thank you :)

So if I said excuse me miss
You would have a panic attack?
Even tho u look like a woman ?
You don't like not having a penis!

U need to wear a sign or something ! It's bloody rediculous the things going on these days and I'm only 38!

Personally I don't care who you sleep with or what you look like but why does the average (normal) person have to have it thrust into them every fucking day?

Your a woman if I don't like it tough 90% of people don't like things about themselve but no one else wants to hear this nonsense!

I'm sorry but being non binary and a lesbian are incompatible.

To be a lesbian you have to be a woman. A woman who is exclusivly attracted to fellow women.

By announcing you aren't a woman. But non binary, you take yourself out of the lesbian category.

Yours sincerely,

A lesbian - - who is sick of this kind of stuff--

Oh fair point, thanks

You must admit that using a singular they for a specific person could get very confusing.

I wonder whether not seeing others refusal to comply as about you, but as being about their right to describe the world their way, might be more helpful? Ultimately you can't control others, so being angry or upset only hurts you.