Terrified of losing children 😞

[charM89]

Okay here's my story any advice please...
I'm private renting, our landlord is evicting us for 2 reasons...
he's selling (no argument ofcourse I understand he needs/wants to sell)
ground 13- we have deteriorated the condition of the property (this one I'm arguing here's why)
We have lived in the property for 10 years, we have had many structual repairs that needed doing, I approached the landlord who told us that due to us not ventilating property it's caused the damp and mould.
I went and bought dehumidifiers, opened windows etc... cleaned all the mould off however the mould would always return!
I called environmental health round an improvement notice was served to the landlord, he was advised of every repair that himself as a landlord needed to fix!
However this was not followed up as the envirmental health officer at the time passed away.
However the landlord was still aware of the problems and chose to not do them!
I contacted environmental health again recently as the damp,mould and other issues were still not resolving no matter how much we cleaned the mould or using a dehumidifier.
A new improvement notice was served to the landlord.
He has now issued us with a section 8 notice using grounds 1a and 13 :(
Again I'm not arguing that he needs to sell, but ground 13 I find extremely unfair as most of the condtion of this property is down to him!
He is now also increasing our rent :(
Ofcourse there are days we forget to open windows and we don't always keep the home to a high level of cleaning, I have depression and anxiety (have done since my son passed) my partner is autistic our 4 year old is autistic and I have a typical teenager!
If we're found to be intentionally homeless due to ground 13 the council won't help us and we are passed to social services which could mean we lose our children :(

I have been searching for a home for a long time, private rented isn't easy to come by, when they want guarantors etc...

Again if the landlord wants rid of us we would have been out by now if the last notices were valid!
Funny how he only ever wants rid of us after we've been to environmental health

But you will have have had a realisation this was coming due to your LL previously giving you notice (even if incorrect you knew his intentions) plus from what you have described about your property and the LL surely you would want to find somewhere else.
What is stopping you finding another rental? Is it rent? Is it the deposit? Is it area? Does your DH work? Is he supportive or are you having to deal with all this on your own?

Then you will have to stay with your parents.

That’s my point, your are stressing about being evicted, then inevitably being homeless and social workers getting involved. Why are you waiting for the worst case scenario here? It’s like you’re holding on for the eviction.
You can avoid this stress by moving on, staying with your parents. Could you look further afield for more choices?

Because staying with my parents would only be temporary the landlord knows the eviction process he should respect that!

Yes I knew he wanted to sell, I respect it.
However blaming us for the deterioration is the flat is cruel and wrong!

That's my argument!

Deterioration of the flat is not your issue so don’t give it more thought. Go and stay with your parents rather than grotty temporary b&b and work out what to do from there.
Is your DH supportive? Working? Able to make some calls? You barely mention him.

You’re still holding on to fighting back the landlord.
im trying to help you see this is isn’t going away so take control. Of course it’s temporary staying with your parents but it keeps you from being evicted or homeless or in temporary accommodation which would be a lot worse .

Here's my plan...

Stay here until the eviction is final, if were found to be intentionally homeless then I'd go to my parents until we find another home.

But the one thing you were worried about is losing your children so would you risk being intentionally homeless and the stress of that?

Op will not loose her children. Shes won't be intentionally homeless

From what I'm aware if I move back in with my parents before being evicted from here I'd be intentionally homeless also so it's no different.

I can't stay at my parents for longer than a few months.

Yes I know she won’t but she been worried about it and posted about it. It’s obviously causing a lot of unnecessary stress. She could avoid some of the stress by not making her children homeless.

Hopefully you’ll find something soon x

Nope. I stayed at my dad’s with my 4dc. In one bedroom. Nobody said I was intentionally homeless even though I technically was. The LA helped. We lived with my dad for 18 months before we found somewhere else to live.
Where is your dp in all this? You barely mention him.

OP, what were you hoping to get from this thread? Many people have tried to explain that you will not be making yourself intentionally homeless and that your children will not be removed from you. I understand that you are anxious, but I'm not sure that this thread is helping you at all because you are not listening to the answers.

Op can't risk that though it would complicate things further. Your just said yourself technically you did make yourself homeless. But LA still helped you. Because your council didn't bring it up and still helped doesn't mean it would be the same for op.
Op is already paranoid about being told she's intentionally homeless so she's not going to do something tjat could risk that.

@charM89 are you going to try and see what type of tempory accommodation you are given. You could be lucky it could be a flat or house. And may be suitable for you. Would you stay there or still go to your parents house,? I'm just asking because a few months is not long and you could end up in this situation again

Dp is great he's an incredible dad, he's autistic and has aspergers so in things like housing etc... he doesn't know where to start but he helps around the house

Since becoming agoraphobic I don't have many friends :( I want to stay off Google so I ask on groups for help however I'm aware there's only so much people can advise me on

I didn’t explain myself well - my husband had a mortgage and defaulted on it. The house was repossessed. I wasn’t in the mortgage. The LA said I was intentionally homeless due to this. I fought that and they eventually agreed I wasn’t

Anywhere that's with my children honestly anywhere.

My parents was an option if social services physically couldn't accommodate me and the children
If social services said they could only house my children then I would mention to them about staying with my family

You've come on a thread by an incredibly anxious person and started a side discussion that she didn't ask about and is not the point. You're also giving bad advice. Her entire fear (unfounded) is being made intentionally homeless. Your advice will guarantee she's found intentionally homeless.

i haven’t started a side discussion.
if the eviction proves that she’s not maintaining the property she will be evicted.
if she is evicted she’ll get temporary housing, I can’t imagine that be ideal when you have two children.
there is two parents here who can do something about this.
She wasn’t listening to anyone.

No, that's not the question she was asking, and advising her to move out before being evicted to live with her parents is terrible advice. What's wrong with being placed in temporary housing? Thousands of parents with children live in emergency accommodation at any one time, it's a means to an end.

OP, I've just been through what you're describing, well still going through it really, but I hope you can read this and get some relief from worrying a bit.

We got 6 months notice from our landlord who was going to be selling our private rented house in October last year. I care for my parents and we had been there 25 years, since I was about 10, over the years my husband moved in, we had children and all lived together.

My parents luckily found a one bedroom flat.

We couldn't find anywhere to privately rent before the day we had to move out.
We told the council what was happening beforehand, and they couldn't do anything until the day of "eviction".
So on the day, I had to ring them and say we were homeless, honestly one of the scariest phone calls I've made in my life, I did it with my mum so I could have done support, I was sweating and shaking. We had no idea where we'd be going, couldn't answer the kids when they asked etc.
They put DH, me and our three kids in a Travelodge 40 minutes away. Obviously not ideal, but I was so grateful we had a roof.

So, we were homeless, got our first (and only) food bank voucher that day aswell, because I'd had to bin all my food. Social services didn't get in touch once. My eldest sons autistic with an EHCP aswell. Even though our kids attendance dropped massively, because of the change at first, and then we couldn't afford the petrol money sometimes. I did tell the school this and they couldn't have been more supportive and helpful. We had no fridge/ microwave ect so had to rely on sandwiches and stuff and our family having us for dinner, if we could afford the petrol to get there lol. But, it is what it is and we we're together and housed.

We were there for four months and to be honest I do think we're all still processing it, it was pretty shit, but like I said, I was just grateful to not be "street homeless".

We got a temporary house just a month ago, it's still 45 mins away from where we want to be but we're getting into a routine again, we've got a cooker and our freezer and sofa out of storage.

I can't see why this won't be the same case for you. He's selling the house either way by what you've said. You're not intentionally homeless, you haven't fucked the house up, you have your reports as proof aswell. Either way, you're going to be moving.

It's absolutely horrible, especially when you don't know how social housing or temporary accommodation works. I had no idea at all, but I just had to trust the council would find me somewhere (anywhere!) on the day like they'd said and go with it. I had loads of sleepless nights and tears, but my families coming out the other side of it now and hopefully a private or council house will come up soon by our home town. I never thought we'd be in this situation but we are.
I hope this takes a tiny bit of anxiety about the what will or could happen away for you!

1. the landlord is selling op has to leave regardless.
2. op has 2 sets of proof from environmental health regarding the damp/mould. Landlord did nothing.
3. landlord did not carry out repairs.

Op has said she's looking for a private rental. But nothing has come up. I'm pretty sure op is on a low income. Its extremely hard to get a landlord to accept people on low income if it was that easy there wouldn't be 135,580 families in temporary accommodation. Op has said her partner has autism and doesn't know how to manage this kind of stuff.