Terrified of losing children 😞

[charM89]

Okay here's my story any advice please...
I'm private renting, our landlord is evicting us for 2 reasons...
he's selling (no argument ofcourse I understand he needs/wants to sell)
ground 13- we have deteriorated the condition of the property (this one I'm arguing here's why)
We have lived in the property for 10 years, we have had many structual repairs that needed doing, I approached the landlord who told us that due to us not ventilating property it's caused the damp and mould.
I went and bought dehumidifiers, opened windows etc... cleaned all the mould off however the mould would always return!
I called environmental health round an improvement notice was served to the landlord, he was advised of every repair that himself as a landlord needed to fix!
However this was not followed up as the envirmental health officer at the time passed away.
However the landlord was still aware of the problems and chose to not do them!
I contacted environmental health again recently as the damp,mould and other issues were still not resolving no matter how much we cleaned the mould or using a dehumidifier.
A new improvement notice was served to the landlord.
He has now issued us with a section 8 notice using grounds 1a and 13 :(
Again I'm not arguing that he needs to sell, but ground 13 I find extremely unfair as most of the condtion of this property is down to him!
He is now also increasing our rent :(
Ofcourse there are days we forget to open windows and we don't always keep the home to a high level of cleaning, I have depression and anxiety (have done since my son passed) my partner is autistic our 4 year old is autistic and I have a typical teenager!
If we're found to be intentionally homeless due to ground 13 the council won't help us and we are passed to social services which could mean we lose our children :(

Again for the tenth time, social services DO accommodate children where they are deemed intentionally homeless or there are NRPF. So when housing departments have no further duty.

I can't say this again any plainer

It is NOT up to social services to allow you to stay living with your parents or not. You have to get over this idea that they have any power over where you live! They really do not!

I get it's not up to them, however surely they're not going to say it's okay to make ourselves overcrowded

THEY DON'T CARE
1- they have too many children to work with already. They do not bother themselves with children they don't need to
2- they have to actually have a remit to get involved with children and families. Being slightly overcrowded isn't it.

I don’t think the LA or SS would class that as dangerously overcrowding.

OP do you and your dh work? Are you limited to where you live because of this? Do either of you drive? The more flexible you can be about location the better.
Have you spoken to your LA today?

Not currently working due to mobility, I'm having physiotherapy so will get back to work.

We don't drive :(

It's all so scary as I don't know what to expect 😕

So that means you can be flexible and widen your search for suitable accommodation whilst staying with your parents? That’s good news. Have you called the LA and asked if they help you find a private landlord who will rent to you? The LA may have a scheme that helps you out with a deposit.

If we can stay with my parents that would be amazing, it would give us time to search for something else

If you move in with your parents I suggest you do not ask them a question then repeatedly ignore their answer and keep repeating the same question.
And catastrophising everything. ?what if a meteor lands on the rabbit hutch?? I will be prosecuted by RSPCA..
You have to get a grip.
And control yourself.
Otherwise your parents will tip you out pronto.
To avoid filicide.

Is that necessary? The op has said she has had anxiety since her child died. It may be frustrating for posters when the OP doesn’t answer what we perceive to be simple questions but when your brain is frazzled and in panic mode it can be hard to think straight. And when you have suffered through something as awful as losing a child your mind can jump to worst case scenarios because you know that the worst thing can happen to you and not just other people.

But OP posters are correct in that you need to try and get a handle on your anxiety as much as you can to sort this out - even if it means emotionally vomiting on here and then gathering yourself together to make phone calls and seek help and support.

I'm trying to find a way to speak to social services to put my mind at ease 😌

Good for you. Speak to your LA as well. Ask both what support, if any, they are able to offer you. Don’t stop posting if it helps get your thoughts out of head.

The only way to ease my anxiety is to have a plan for the worse case scenario :(

Staying temporary with my parents is my safety net however being told social would not agree to this, I have no other plan :( that's when I'm terrified of the children being taken into care as we couldn't provide a home for them

SS will not do anything about you staying with your parents.

Please call your LA and SS asap for reassurance and advice

I hope not :(

It would be me, my partner and 4 year old in a bedroom of our own

My 17 year old would share a bedroom with her nan

And my dad would be in the living on a sofa or sofa bed

Phone your local council. Ask them to put you through to children's and family social services.. then ask to talk to a duty social worker. And tell them what your worried about.

Where are you up to with the council? I assume you're signed up for bidding on social housing?

You're being very passive and, while I appreciate you have hideous anxiety, you need to start acting in the best interests of your children and being proactive to try to resolve the situation.

This. Pretend you are advocating for someone if that helps - I know it does for me when I get overwhelmed and anxious.

I don't know if its with all councils but you don't normally get bidding number until after the council comfrm a full duty.

Then she needs to find out where they're up to. She hasn't really been very clear where she's up to in the process and doesn't say she's chased them.

I have contacted social care, they have told me to speak to early help (which I've done)

I can't find a way to speak to a duty social worker I only have 1 number which is the one I've already tried.

We have got the section 8 eviction notice I have made a homeless application and we have to go back there on the 21st of this month

We are looking for another private rent (no luck so far)

The wheels are at least turning then. And at least it's now 4months' notice, so gives you more time.

Are you panicking ahead of the meeting on Friday? Hence all the posts?

Honestly my main worry is the whole intentionally homeless and social services being involved and taking my children, if I had a plan and knew that they would not take my children then I could relax :( it's honestly having a plan for worst case scenario