My 2 year old daughter being relocated

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Im a dad of a 2 year old, and not really sure where to seek advice. Beginning of the year we relocated for my partners job- I found a new job here, and shortly after was asked to move out

for the past 4 months iv been living in a house share so our current arrangement has been
Week 1 - Monday Wednesday after my work I have my daughter at the mums house. Then Friday overnight until Sunday 3pm at the house ( during the warmer weeks I usually took her to the park or for a walk during the week) over the weekend i bring all food needed and extra for the week, I take her out every weekend and the mum is away

week 2- Tuesday Thursday after work Sunday 3pm- bedtime

so anyway I pay child maintenance i actually pay 16% of my wage slightly more than the minimum,
I do really well as a dad my daughter adores me, she loves spending time with me and when I’m there doesn’t want anyone else just her daddy.

im moving into my own place January 1st so the contact can shift I’ll probably not be able to have her over night on all my week nights as Im an engineer snd start work sometimes at 4am

my ex has now decided she wants to move to London which is depending where in London about 2 hours one way from where I live and around 2:30 from my work.

her reasons she gave me is there is more to do for my daughter like museums and parks- theres Facebook groups for like minded single mums- shes closer to her parents ( they live in France but it’s a direct flight rather than a 2 Hour drive and a direct flight hey )
she feels isolated where we live and thinks living in London would make her a better mum- she also says because I only pop in and are deluded thinking I do almost 50% ( because she picks her up some week nights from nursery and I arrive about an hour after that apparently I just pop round and am a dad when I want to be
iv never cancelled a visit I always come up with fun things to do, I have covered two extra weekends, 3 occasions where the child minder was sick I basically had my daughter then made up my work hours from 4:30pm till midnight

so I just don’t know where I stand with this like surely you cant just reduce my contact to what would essentially be every other weekend ? I do everything to see my daughter as much as possible often working from home when I can so that I can finish early during week and have her for longer. I don’t see her thinking moving would benefit her mental health as a reason.

and of course now shes started down the route that the relationship was abusive was litterally never mentioned until she was justifying the break up to other people. The alleged abuse is that iv called her an idiot in arguments before and apparently I pushed her 4 years ago.

she has regular phone conversations with a councillor, a psychologist and also a domestic abuse charity- who are going to set up a mediator apparently

I just don’t understand how someone can she claim that I just pop in I see my daughter as much as I reasonably can.

she also says that shes allowed me to use her house- and I take advantage because over the weekend I used a teabag and it was the last one and didn’t replace it- we were together for 4 years and she never once drank a cup of tea.
but anyway I originally said I’d collect my daughter from her house on my days and bring her back so that I didn’t need to use her house ( after the abuse claims began) and was met with message after message how this isn’t fair how it makes her house bound how she can’t go see friends or go drinking or go food shopping ( children are allowed in the supermarket )

so I agreed to have her at the house. I just don’t understand why these medical professionals shes talking to according to her agree with this nonsense. She believes me saying I don’t want her to move my daughter away and reduce my contact time is me controlling her. I don’t care what she does but she says being a mother doesn’t fulfill her that’s why she needs to move as there will be more for her to do ( she now tries to link it to my daughter but originally it was about her )

sorry if this seems a rant i absolutly love my daughter shes my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me and just feel like iv spent months jumping through hoops to maintain my contact with her for her mum to just move her away from me

on a final note she had no job lined up in London but is a teacher so a role that relocating is easier

Which is not what's happened here. Regardless, she doesn't get to cut the OP out of their dd's life - so important that the courts are involved here. If this was the dad wanting to move their dd away you'd be up in arms.

That was in reply to that specific poster.

I said to the op he needs to have a good chat with his ex about what he can do wrt to parenting equally, or go to court.

You are sounding quite aggressive and defensive so you’ll need to dial that back if you want to go done the legal route. I’m not sure what happens if she is saying you have been abusive when you haven’t.

No he doesn't - don't be silly, you stirrer.

It's her father you're talking about. When she grows up and hasn't had contact with her dad and she's all screwed up, her mum can say, "oh well never mind dear, at least i got to do everything my way without your father mooching about and annoying me. If that screwed you up, tough luck, at least I got to do everything my way. Now on yer bike coz youre getting on my nerves too"

Except she would still be having contact with her dad, it's just that he wouldn't be popping in and out for a couple of hours here and there at his own convenience, and to the detriment of his ex, midweek.

Opinions can differ, you know

Why is one parent more equal than another ? Why does one parent call all the shots while the other has to fall on line ? It's just bullshit.

Don’t rise to it op, you’re a man you will never ever win on Mumsnet ! Just to let you know, you can go to a family court and represent yourself, my dh had to do it a few times, it’s absolutely fine, they will see you’re doing all you can

You mean how op is popping in and out and doing what he can around his work, and the mum has to pick up the rest of the slack?

Oh yes, opinions can and some (yours) are ridiculous and simply there to stir. If this was a woman posting you'd have a completely different 'opinion' - your kind of opinion pops up on these threads as regular as clockwork.

His WORK. How else is he going to pay for the daughter. How can he be at work and be with the daughter.

That’s nonsense

Because he works far more than she does.

No it's not - it's absolutely spot on.

I thought her mum works as well, but fits it round her daughters needs?

She also WORKS and provides more than 16% of her wages I'll bet.

Always an arsey comment on posts like these. Not necessary.

Little wonder the OP sounds 'defensive' you and the other bar-room barristers have done nothing but attack him - he's just defending himself against the onslaught

He works 25 hours more than she does each week.

I’m not attacking him any more than you are attacking me. Why can’t you accept that others have different opinions to you without feeling the need to be unpleasant to them?

How is it at my convenience ? It’s what she requested…
I have my own place in January and won’t need to step foot in her house again.

Exactly. He clearly loves his daughter and is doing his best. There are people on here who just want to cause trouble. Who think the father should pay, only see the kid when it suits them.etc etc..They want everything their own way and a free babysitter into the bargain, and the chance to make up any lie they like to discredit their ex when it suits them too. We know that type. We know their game.

Yes you are - throwing about claims that the OP is aggressive and defensive which is utter nonsense, and conveniently ignoring the fact that the OP works 25 hours more per week than his ex. Bar room barrister is a good description of you and others - the old claim of 'opinions' doesn't wash here.

Nonsense, we just disagree with you