I've been so stupid, im scared to death

[Scaredashell13]

Please don't judge, I've made a horrendously stupid mistake and im so scared what's going to happen to me and my two children.
A couple of years ago I had a breakdown and started gambling again (I started gambling after my 2nd dc was born but stopped after a year with help). A long story short, in the space of 9 months I stole approx 36k from my employer who happens to be a local authority. They found out and I was subsequently sacked. I admitted everything and provided all evidence they requested such as bank statements etc. I have now registered with Gamban and Gamcare, my Drs have increased my medication which helped me get out of the dark place I was in. I considered suicide almost daily but my two children are the only reason i'm here. I have since worked on myself and have a new job and doing well....until today. I came home to a court summons in the post with a court date just after Christmas. This will be the first hearing and i'm praying to God I'm not sent into custody. I am absolutely petrified and have been sick with the thought of not being with my children (age 12 and 15). I'm so scared. I dont have any family, I was raised in the care system. I dont have any friends I can confide in, and im a single parent. What do I tell my children, how do I tell my children? I could face a prison sentence up to 10 years. I have reached out to a solicitor today and hoping they'll contact me tomorrow. I feel like im already slipping back into that dark place. Im so stupid and I wish I could turn back time. I just want to hug my children and never let go.

Its taken me a while to get back on my feet, find a job and settle back down. I've been paying back my other debts so I can then concentrate on this debt once their investigation concluded. Obviously I intend to pay back every penny even if it takes the rest of my life. I wish I could turn back time but I can't. I will face the consequences for my foolish actions.

It might be worth opening a separate bank account and transferring money weekly/monthly into it earmarking the money to pay off this debt. It will show the court that you do intend to repay the money when you are told how. Even small amounts will make a good impression.

OP, you need to be upfront with your kids. You don't want them to wake up on Christmas morning and be shocked that you've given them virtually no presents. They need to be warned ahead of time that every spare penny is going to have to go towards paying back the money you stole. No school trips, no streaming services, no family holidays, no luxuries - just the bare minimum of food and clothes.

It won't be easy, and you'll have to accept that they have every right to be angry and upset. The resentment may well last into adulthood. You just have to be patient, give them room to express their anger, and you'll get through it as a family.

I agree, gambling is a tough addiction driven by the 'just need one big win'. You've come out of that place now OP, having to face the repercussions, which you are, and doing all you can to rectify the situation. I'm sure you will not go to jail, you're admitting guilt, you have DC and are wanting to make amends. It wasn't a personal, malicious or violent offence, you were in a bad place.

Xxx

Thankyou everyone for all the kind words, I really needed this just to get through last night and today. My brain & heart is going 100mph. I wish I had people like you in my life, you have been so kind and compassionate which is definitely not what I deserve. The world still has kindness 💕

I am glad you got some good support here. Another vote for you to contact a charity that supports people going through the criminal justice system where you can get specialist support and advice. Do a search. Gam Learn was mentioned up thread and thats a good place to start so you arent doing it all by yourself.

I signed up to Gamlearn today, not heard of that until someone mentioned it above. It looks like it may be really helpful. Thank you so much

Of course you deserve kindness and compassion, OP. Yes, you fucked up, but show me someone who hasn't fucked up in one way or another. What matters now is that you're doing your very best to put things right.

Glad to hear it - they will be a good source of support.

Totally agree with this.

This involves a local authority and I blame it for not having proper checks in place.

In the grand scheme of things, OP’s case is small change to the amount of (your) money they waste.

This fraudster for example - and Thurrock Council was loaned £20 million by my Council despite knowing it was in a dire financial state.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-essex-68540271

My Council has spent another £16 million on an obvious fraudster that a small team of us (outside the Council) worked tirelessly to expose.

The OP knows she has done wrong and has been working hard to turn her life around. She was not sent a payment plan - you cannot just send random cheques.

I agree with a sensible poster, and would much rather OP get support and repay the money than the cost to us of her in prison and her children in care.

I think it's highly unlikely you'll go to prison OP especially if you have children to look after. Females are always given more leniency by the courts in cases like these.

The one thing I would mention is does your current employer know about your past mistakes and if not is he or she likely to find out about this if it's all opening up again? If so I would definitely want them to hear about it from me, hard as it may be.

I hope this works out ok for your OP.

Have a think about whether this might affect your life in other ways than the possibility of a prison sentence. You may very well lose your current job over it - not a guarantee but be prepared for it. One place I worked recently there was someone who was discovered to have defrauded her former employer and been convicted of it, she was sacked very quickly. Check your t&cs and staff handbook to see if there is advice about what you need to declare to them - and bear in mind that if it’s in the paper there’s a chance someone will call them and tell them anyway.

Just to update my plea hearing at the beginning of January was adjourned due to my solicitor only recieving the prosecution file that morning and with it being over 300 pages worth, didnt have time to advise me on a plea. It was adjourned until today where I plead guilty, which I always planned to do. There's a discrepancy on the total amount, the prosecution have added an extra 31k which they are unable to account for bringing the final total to 78k. I have admitted to what I stole which 47k. Anyway, my Crown Court date has been set for a couple of weeks time. I need advice on how to tell my two children I'm going to prison? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I am absolutely petrified of having to leave my two precious babies (although not quite babies anymore). Genuinely dont know how i will manage not being with them, its breaking my heart.

There needs to be a clear plan in place so you can answer all there questions and make them feel more secure. Who will care for them, where, will they be able to visit you?

This is the second time today I have heard of amounts stolen suddenly increasing when at court. I hope your solicitor can challenge this. As for telling your children, keep it simple and short. "I did something silly, I am very sorry for it and part of showing this is going away for a while. I will miss you every day and do everything I can to be back with you as soon as I can be. "

Are you sure it will be a custodial sentence? With the prisons so full, I thought they were diverting people if they can, and if you have no more access to steal money and were not violent, I cannot see the benefit of sending you to prison.

I hope you were able to get in touch with Gam Learn. They are specifically there to help with situations like this.

I have admitted to what I stole which 47k

I thought you said it was 36k?

You'll get 2 years suspended for 2 years (so won't go to prison) with victim surcharge to repay at something like £100 per month.

Has your solicitor definitely said you’ll get a custodial sentence? Is there any chance it could be a suspended sentence?

Are there prisoner support charities who may be able to help, they might give you some advice on how to inform your children

So you can steal £47k and only have to pay back £100 a month?! No interest charges?
so 40 years to pay back?
nice and easy!

Hope all goes well for you in a couple of weeks op. Hoping you get a suspended sentence and nothing more given you have admitted it and offered repayment and have cooperated from the start of the investigation.

That confused me too

Will probably only have to repay £2000 or so in reality, certainly not the full amount. So yep, that easy!

Mitigating factors are they're a vulnerable person with sole caring responsibilities for a child, and they have plead guilty at first opportunity. So I'd guess 33% reduction of a 3 year sentence, probably therefore 2 years which can be suspended by the court.

So there’s no punishment for stealing £47k as she admitted it? Would you feel the same if it was your money?