I've been so stupid, im scared to death

[Scaredashell13]

Please don't judge, I've made a horrendously stupid mistake and im so scared what's going to happen to me and my two children.
A couple of years ago I had a breakdown and started gambling again (I started gambling after my 2nd dc was born but stopped after a year with help). A long story short, in the space of 9 months I stole approx 36k from my employer who happens to be a local authority. They found out and I was subsequently sacked. I admitted everything and provided all evidence they requested such as bank statements etc. I have now registered with Gamban and Gamcare, my Drs have increased my medication which helped me get out of the dark place I was in. I considered suicide almost daily but my two children are the only reason i'm here. I have since worked on myself and have a new job and doing well....until today. I came home to a court summons in the post with a court date just after Christmas. This will be the first hearing and i'm praying to God I'm not sent into custody. I am absolutely petrified and have been sick with the thought of not being with my children (age 12 and 15). I'm so scared. I dont have any family, I was raised in the care system. I dont have any friends I can confide in, and im a single parent. What do I tell my children, how do I tell my children? I could face a prison sentence up to 10 years. I have reached out to a solicitor today and hoping they'll contact me tomorrow. I feel like im already slipping back into that dark place. Im so stupid and I wish I could turn back time. I just want to hug my children and never let go.

You should be ashamed of yourself, piling on a vulnerable OP. Absolutely no need for it. Yeah, she’s done wrong, the process and paying it back will be punishment enough.

Having to pay back money you stole is now punishment?
excellent, so a person can defraud and steal, and getting caught for this is punishment enough?

Quite. Gambling is an addiction, so honestly, I would save my anger for the companies that take people’s money based on their illness. The OP was suffering an addiction, has sought help, is vulnerable by being in the care system (so no family) and she is the sole carer of two children. The punishment is going to court and whatever the sentence is. Society does not gain anything if two DC are left without their mother. The winners here are the gambling firms.

@MaryBeardsShoes so you’d be ok with someone stealing from you or a loved one?
you’d tell them to grow up if they said anything?

I think we can all have views on the situation and what we think should happen but the OP says she knows she’s done wrong and asking for some advice.

OP it looks like Barnardos may be able to give some help in telling your kids.

Even if you end up not going to prison it may still be an idea to prepare them for the fact that it may happen.

So addicts can act with impunity then? Never face any consequences for their illegal behaviours?

Totally agree with this. I’d be surprised if they send you to prison tbh. Make sure your barrister is fully on top of your mitigation, which I’m sure the judge will find compelling.

To the person saying there’s ‘no punishment’, the OP will likely have to do some RAR days and a big whack of unpaid work, but importantly for her she now has a conviction for a serious offence which will have a negative effect on her future work prospects. There may also be POCA proceedings to recover the money (although her limited means may put pay to that). Anyone who spends time in court knows that there are people committing way, way worse crimes than this who never serve any jail time.

There are consequences, though - the OP has a court date and it is up to the judicial system to decide what is what, weighing up all the factors.

Of course not but whether you like it or not wider circumstances are relevant. She is sole carer of 2 kids and her being in custody will mean they end up in care and increase their vulnerability and affect their life chances. Obviously in some circumstances like murder etc that is unavoidable but I think most people would think keeping children with their parents should be done if possible

Your strongest arguments in court are pleading guilty, taking responsibility, intending to repay the money and getting yourself back on your feet mentally and financially in order to do so.
In view of this, your experience of the care system, and having dependent children - IANAL - but I can't see it's in the public interest to imprison you.
Hopefully the prison sentence will be suspended & you'll be ordered to repay in instalments. Are you a lone parent? - if so, imprisoning you will involve some sort of care for your DC, at a further cost to the public purse. Again, not in the public interest.
Far better to have you as a functioning, economically viable part of the workforce & repay your debt.

I couldn’t read and run with this as my heart feels broken for you. I honestly think that there are so many mitigating circumstances here that whilst you may get a sentence it will be suspended.
I really do think if you had any family or friends your children are close to you need to speak to them about supporting your children if the worst happens. Then have a gentle conversation with your children and that person as the worst thing would be to not give your children the chance to speak to you, ask questions. They’re going to be as frightened as you are but the unknown is worse. I’m so sorry, you sounds so remorseful too, I really hope the works out ok for you x

As another poster told you some time ago, it is by no means certain that you will go to prison. You may get a suspended sentence. Be prepared for the worst, but it may not be as bad as you think.

OP, I hope your solicitor is going to challenge the additional £31k that’s been added by the prosecution?

You said you stole 36k??? Not 47k

i would expect a custodial sentence - despite people downplaying this is public money and very serious

Gamlearn are fantastic, a wonderful person attended court with me today to support and I dont know what I'd have done without her. They are an amazing and I would advocate them to anyone going through this due to addiction. Thank you so much for recommending them

After going through all my bank statements and gambling deposits, its 47k I'm ashamed to say

Tbf the OP has understated the amount she stole by £11k already, so she may not be exactly accurate! I’m not sure denial at this stage is going to be helpful if the aim is to avoid jail; presumably the local authority has some evidence for the amount…

Sorry to see you’re going through a tough time.

If you’re on TikTok give Jodiekim7 a follow, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you messaged her too. She was sentenced for a similar crime (Stealing £20K+ from a building society account where she worked).

She talks about her experiences on her videos, so hopefully she will be able to answer any questions you have and tell you what you could expect.

She won’t be paying it back, nor will she be punished in any other respect. What “process” exactly are you referring to that’s so onerous?

You didn’t even know how much you stole?

I really hope that you are not given a custodial sentence, I’d be amazed if the judge thought that was the right way to go.

I wish you all the best with your recovery from addiction.

All the best, OP. I remember when you first posted. I hope you are spared a custodial sentence and can stay with you children and turn your life around. I hope we hear back from you after sentencing.