I've been so stupid, im scared to death

[Scaredashell13]

Please don't judge, I've made a horrendously stupid mistake and im so scared what's going to happen to me and my two children.
A couple of years ago I had a breakdown and started gambling again (I started gambling after my 2nd dc was born but stopped after a year with help). A long story short, in the space of 9 months I stole approx 36k from my employer who happens to be a local authority. They found out and I was subsequently sacked. I admitted everything and provided all evidence they requested such as bank statements etc. I have now registered with Gamban and Gamcare, my Drs have increased my medication which helped me get out of the dark place I was in. I considered suicide almost daily but my two children are the only reason i'm here. I have since worked on myself and have a new job and doing well....until today. I came home to a court summons in the post with a court date just after Christmas. This will be the first hearing and i'm praying to God I'm not sent into custody. I am absolutely petrified and have been sick with the thought of not being with my children (age 12 and 15). I'm so scared. I dont have any family, I was raised in the care system. I dont have any friends I can confide in, and im a single parent. What do I tell my children, how do I tell my children? I could face a prison sentence up to 10 years. I have reached out to a solicitor today and hoping they'll contact me tomorrow. I feel like im already slipping back into that dark place. Im so stupid and I wish I could turn back time. I just want to hug my children and never let go.

Isn’t that the point of the whole thread ? The point here is that her legal counsel should be challenging the LA to provide proof of OP misappropriating the other £31k, given that a forensic accountant can only find evidence of OP stealing £47k, not the £78k the LA has come up with.

No it’s not the “whole point of the thread” as only came to light recently

it was used to pay for items for work directly purchased from suppliers.

well, the wrong suppliers as you admit you intentionally didn’t correctly reconcile

The fact that she has committed a criminal act is the point of the thread. The fact that the LA have added a significant additional amount to the debt which OP says she has no knowledge of, and of which there is no mention from the forensic accountant examining her accounts is odd. The LA must have credit card records which they can produce to support the claim.

all humas make mistakes. I really feel for you reading this. The main point of prison is to protect the public from dangerous people isn’t it and you certainly dont sound like a danger to the public.
plus you’re a mother to minors, you’re fully cop-operating and remorseful, so you’d never get sent to actual prison IMO.

Deliberate theft is not a "mistake". It's an intentional very poor choice. Whatever the reasons or internal justification, It's wrong to frame it as a mistake, especially to her children. That minimises the intent and may be a greater worry to them if OP gets a custodial sentence. ("You go to prison for making a mistake?") Her children need to see the true cause and effect of these actions in the real world. Doesn't mean she doesn't love them.

I know someone to whom this happened, she was never sent down because of her mental health and parenting responsibilities.

It’s not a mistake - it’s a crime!

it is a danger for the public - citizens stealing their money! That’s was to be used to pay for things needed like home care etc

https://www.prisonadvice.org.uk/get-help/children-young-people/

https://www.womeninprison.org.uk/

I’ve added a couple of links of organisations that could help. You need to speak to social services about plans for your children if you get a custodial sentence. Make sure you have a pre-sentence report that includes the impact on your children and the steps you have taken to get well and pay the money back. Probation do the reports and always put in a community option for the judge to consider.

You're offensive. My follow up post got deleted, clearly OP didn't like a reference I made, but I'll reiterate the first part of it since you haven't seen it. There is no explanation for why OP seems to think she'll have to repay the £31k that is allegedly unaccounted for. There is burden of proof that applies. The LA can't just say it and the OP will be liable which is what her posts imply. The burden is on the prosecution and evidence would need to come from the LA. So the fact there is an alleged concern about that says all you need to know.

But this is fraud, if so?

You need a friend, OP?
*Look at these glorious 18 (so far) pages of people lining up to support you and scold you and be your cheerleaders.
If that isn’t friendship, why, I just don’t know what is.
You’re gonna be okay - I just know it. Somebody with as many friends as you will face adversity head on and win.
You’ll win!!
And you and your kids will be fine, I promise. ❤️

Quite a few posters still knitting round the gallows I see ...

@GrooveArmada Firstly I have never reported any comment on any thread, so thats where you're mistaken. Secondly, I have no idea about the criminal justice system and how it works with burden of proof etc, unlike you seem to. Thirdly, you have absolutely no idea of the whole circumstances but feel it appropriate to spout nasty remarks and make assumptions where you are very much wrong. 🙄 Why comment if you have nothing constructive to say? It must be so exhausting for you and the others who are so closed minded and bitter wherby you have to be nasty to someone asking for advice. I didnt ask for your personal feelings on the situation. How you believe you know the whole story baffles me!!

Can I check, you mention you are taking medication. Some medications increase addictive and impulsive behaviour (these medications are aripiprazole, and medications for restless legs syndrome and Parkinson’s disease such as pramipexole or ropinirole) . If you are taking any of these discuss with your doctor and defence team (but never stop them suddenly).

Norrmal antidepressants (e.g citalopram, sertaline and similar) do not have this link to gambling/impulsive behaviours.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

What do you think she is doing?

Oh ffs, if you are not going to read my posts don't bother responding. My first post was replying to another poster who was minimising what the OP has done. My response was that that is unhelpful and that attitude would not benefit the OP because vulnerable people are harmed when Local Authorities are defrauded. I have also said that the OP should continue to do what she has done on this thread which is to take responsibility for her actions. Clearly recognising that the OP is taking responsibility so I don't know why you are claiming I'm accusing her of not?

@Scaredashell13

At the end of the day, it's not about councils wasting money, it's about how the courts deals with the theft and noone on here has any way of knowing that.

I think you need to stop worrying about what to tell your children and concentrate on the plans to keep them safe if you are sent to prison. What are you going to do with that?

Does that not depend on whether the payments were made in good faith to the rightful recipients ? Posters are saying OP incorrectly reconciled but I read it as she hadn’t attempted to reconcile at all. Surely the credit card receipts should reflect where the payments actually went, and the fact that the forensic accountant can only account for £47k should count for something ?

You must be very frightened. 😥

Normal anti depressants absolutely do have an effect on addictive and impulsive behaviour. They can cause significant changes in spending behaviour, because they trigger impulsive, compulsive, or manic-like episodes. When depression or anxiety is relieved it can lead to high energy, resulting in reckless behaviour mimicking bipolar disorder. SSRIs and SNRIs typically used to relieve these symptoms - prozac, citalopram sertraline, venlafaxine, as well as Aripiprazole, used as an add on to depression medication are all liked to impulse control problems, including compulsive shopping, overeating and gambling.

I’ve read and understood your posts, which is what led me to post as I have in reply.

Antidepressants cause mania if you have bipolar disorder. Hence not mentioned. I wanted to take care not alarm to the majority of people who take them for depressions and anxiety rather than bipolar here.