Left baby in car for a minute

[LifeOnAmber]

I need some advice.

Earlier today we were at a retail park. I was in the shop whilst my husband stayed in the car as the 15 month old was asleep and the 4 year old didn't wanna go in.

I forgot to take my purse. So he brought it into the shop whilst the kids were in the car.

Our car was directly outside the shop. Well not immediate but the second row. But it was in the eye line.

My husband popped in, handed over and went back. It took less than a minute.

When he went back out, a very cross lady was on the phone and with a face like there are abandoned children. He obviously said they are mine. She showed disapproval.

Then he hears her reading out our number plate to someone on the phone and that the parent is here. I guess she called the police?

Basically did we break the law or is it negligence? What can we expect?

Was it really less than a minute? Unless the lady was waiting ready for your partner to leave the car, how would she have noticed there were children left in the car, no adult around, and called someone in under a minute? It’s likely she called the police, you may get a social services follow up but if they find all is ok nothing will happen.

This is the law: https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

Given your husband returned swiftly I doubt there will be any follow up. But equally the woman didn’t do anything wrong, for all she knew the kids could have been left in the car for a considerable time. We have all
seen news reports of serious incidents and indeed fatalities caused by leaving kids in cars. She was looking out for them.

It must have been more than a minute though - firstly she has to come across your car and see them, then she has to wait a bit to see if someone has gone to the pay and display or similar. She wouldn’t have just seen them and immediately pulled out her phone, that’s very doubtful. Did your husband talk to her at all? I would have and explained the situation.

A phone call from the police possibly social services too.
Must have been longer than a minute for her to have had time to see if anyone was near the car( returning trolley etc) and actually make a call.
But I doubt anything serious will actually happen.

A lot could have happened, with a 4 year old bored in a car. A friend discovered this when the cigarette lighter had been put to use all over the seat..
You should be glad someone was looking out for your dc.

I used to leave them in the car for short periods when they were little, if they were happier to be left together or fast asleep. It's more risk getting them out of a car and across a busy car park or petrol forecourt than leaving them for five minutes.

Why didn’t you go out to the car? Seems more sensible imo.

with a face like there are abandoned children

Is that like the daily wail face or Edvard Munch The Scream face?

I know this isn't very helpful now , but why didn't you come to the car to collect your purse?

i don't think leaving the children alone was a good idea , it was obviously more than a minute and all you seem bothered about is whether you/husband will be in trouble. What about what might have happened to the children ?

I'm Team Police Contacter

Why didn't he ring you? If my dh had left dc I would have The Rage.
Yabu.

Why didn't you go back and get it OP as you were the one that wasn't looking after the dc?

It might have made more sense for OP to go back, but things happen. Clearly your DH came straight back, there's no case for 'endangerment' for that length of time and the police will have better things to do.

Clearly the car wasn't in line of sight, or you/DH would have seen someone walk over to car, see children, look around for parents and call the police (all of that would take more then a minute). Don't understand why you didn't go back for your purse, it would have only taken you a minute and avoided leaving the kids unattended.

If relivent mine are 6&8, for the last 6 months I've left the 8yo or them both together in the car in this type of situation, but not the 6yo alone.

From the top of my head 'endangerment' in this situation could be:

4yo panics, gets out of car to look for for daddy and gets run over

4yo climbs into front seat, accidently pushes buttons or releases hand brake, car roles

16mo, vomits, starts to choke and 4yo doesn't know what to do.

4yo helps themselves to whatever drinks or snacks may have been in the car and chokes without anyone to help.

4yo gets into anything dangerous that might have been in the car (someone up thread mentioned the cars cigarette lighter), or potentially gives something to to 15mo.

This is why we don't leave babies or young children unattended.

Did you ring him and ask for your purse or did he just spot it in the car as frankly I would have been furious if my husband had left ours in the car when they were this little .

Sorry but you should have gone out for your purse, I would never ever leave my children alone in the car. I did this once at a fuel station and assistant was fine as I rushed to car to get purse off hubby. I would never leave kids alone personally

Agree with PPs, it must’ve been more than a minute for the woman to have checked and then began to phone..

I had to run over to the petrol station kiosk once - but made sure I had the front space in v clear eyeline of kiosk, and locked my car!! That way, the time it would take for someone to break in, I’d easily see or be back before.
As others have said, this is about the DC. Four year olds can easily unbuckle themselves. If two adults, one stays and one comes back to the car surely?

At most you might have a phone call from someone. It's easy to say don't worry about it but it's clearly not something for anyone else to be worrying about. Just one of those things where on another day you both might have done a different thing.

How do people put their trolleys back or pay for fuel in the kiosk if they aren't leaving the kids in the car for a few seconds?

Generally use pay at pump for petrol, or go without children on the way to work, but I suppose I would bring them in with me to pay.

Trolleys - I keep baby in the trolley seat until I get to the trolley bay thing and then carry them back to the car. Older one walks next to me.

It was fine, OP.

Yes, your child might have vomited and choked, and being inside a car would have meant a totally different outcome from if you'd nipped to the loo at home, while leaving them in their cot. Likewise, your four year old might have taken an illicit swing of water in the car, and choked, as four year olds are so prone to do, when left unattended for mere moments and also in the fatal enviroment of The Car. Rest assured, of course, that if you left your four-year-old unattended in the normal way of things, at home, while you were in the next room, we'd return to normal levels of risk, even if there were a drink bottle in the vicinity.

Honestly.

I do get that it is possible for tragedies to happen. You could step out of the house to put the washing on the line and have lightning strike. But it is just absurd to live your life as if these worries were remotely likely.

Er no. Just because nothing bad happened for your kids doesn’t mean it’s safe.

Doubtful anything will happen but don’t do it again, anything could happen and I understand why woman was worried. Why didn’t you just go back for your purse? Why didn’t he call you?

This thread is madness.

Your DH left the children alone in a locked, stationary car for a couple of minutes. He didn't leave them in a swimming pool or on a cliff edge!

The police will not be remotely bothered.

The woman sounds like one of those annoying, interfering busybodies.

I agree it's madness. A lot of the risks being avoided here are very very unlikely to happen. I feel like by that logic I wouldn't be stepping into my car with children at all if I'm worried about that level of risk.

I'm not comfortable leaving my kids in the car. It makes me anxious and I avoid it but if I'm on my own and need to put my shopping trolley back or paying for patrol, I'll park up and do it, with kids in the car. Car is locked, in sight, no eating allowed, obvious hazards removed.

In this scenario, I would have probably gone back to the car myself anyway because it's either I waste time going back or waste time waiting for husband to bring me the purse, nothing gained by him coming out.

I have 3 kids including a set of twins - no way could I / would I take them inside at a garage - a lot of people in ivory towers on this thread.

that being said - I’d have just said to the person manning the checkout I need to grab my purse and they usually just press a button on the machine so that it doesn’t cancel the transaction after a period of inactivity

I’ve left my kids in the car for 2-3 mins. Surprised at how many people think this is awful…!!

also leave my kid in the car sleeping (end of a cul de sac) all the time.