Left baby in car for a minute

[LifeOnAmber]

I need some advice.

Earlier today we were at a retail park. I was in the shop whilst my husband stayed in the car as the 15 month old was asleep and the 4 year old didn't wanna go in.

I forgot to take my purse. So he brought it into the shop whilst the kids were in the car.

Our car was directly outside the shop. Well not immediate but the second row. But it was in the eye line.

My husband popped in, handed over and went back. It took less than a minute.

When he went back out, a very cross lady was on the phone and with a face like there are abandoned children. He obviously said they are mine. She showed disapproval.

Then he hears her reading out our number plate to someone on the phone and that the parent is here. I guess she called the police?

Basically did we break the law or is it negligence? What can we expect?

Oh thank goodness, I thought I was going mad reading this thread.

For the poster who said the baby might vomit and choke - you do realise that could happen during their sleep at any time, right? You don't have eyes on them at all times.

A petrol station forecourt within a few metres and clear sight of vehicle, yes I've left a child in car if no other choice. (However, I almost always got fuel when children were not in the car or used Pay at Pump.)

I consider this situation different, as I wouldn't have gone to the petrol station/ shop with my husband and consider it reasonable for both adults to go into the shop at the same time, leaving the children alone in the car. Leaving an unbuckled 4 year old is even less reasonable, IMO.

All of this assumes the 4yo isn't strapped in, or is able to climb out of their seatbelt, which is not necessarily the case depending on what type of car seat they use. My 4yo cannot unstrap herself from her car seat.

^I know this isn't very helpful now , but why didn't you come to the car to collect your purse?
i don't think leaving the children alone was a good idea , it was obviously more than a minute and all you seem bothered about is whether you/husband will be in trouble. What about what might have happened to the children ?
I'm Team Police Contacter^

Thank you.

Car crashes happen every day in all kinds of places.

Any of these are much less likely to happen than having an accident while actually driving the car. With parents in the car. We still drive around with kids don't we?

Having said that I don't think it's a great idea to leave very young kids in the car but there is no need for this crazy guilt tripping.

"Then as he was belting in 4yo, he heard her saying the number plate on the phone."

The 4 year old was not strapped in, according to a later post.

We are a generation of helicopter parents. I'm a primary school teacher and our school did a course on risky play. It actually said that by not allowing children some freedoms and constantly putting barriers up they are far more at risk of having anxiety, mental health problems etc in later life. Of course parents have to use their judgement and make sensible choices but I think we do need to stop wrapping our kids up in cotton wool. I am totally guilty of being a helicopter parent (my husband is even worse) and our first child is full of anxiety. Our second not so much because we calmed down by then. The lady could have waited 5 mins before jumping to conclusions. YANBU

I am the busy body I had two small children myself at the time

i cannot remember where but I came out of big shop saw screaming baby and toddler alone in car next to me

went back in shop who put it over tanoy

parent still did not arrive so I called the police

who showed up

dumb thing to leave children alone

live and learn

There's nothing wrong at all with leaving your children inside the car for a few minutes. It's often less hazardous to them than the alternative of dragging them across a road or carpark.

But people get extremely sanctimonious about this, to a weird degree. A woman once got her phone out to make a call and tried to give me an earful on my return when I left my children in the car to get a parking ticket. I know it was only a minute, the car was in my sight the entire time - so I fully believe these weirdo busybodies are out there! Some people just have nothing better to do.

Checking through the window that kids look okay and waiting to see if anyone returns - that's fine, welcome even. Waiting mere moments before phoning the police and then going on an angry rant - that's just a bully looking for an excuse.

Imagine asking a question like this and then being pissed off with people because you don't like the responses. Don't ask, then.

Thank you! All these people introducing petrol station forecourts as a comparison is mad. Whataboutery at its finest. Not remotely the same!

I leave my 4 year old in the car every single day while I pick up my 5 year old from school. At least 10 other mums do it too, some with very young babies. A dragon might fly out of the sky and burn the car down but the chances are that the kid will sleep or watch Peppa pig on thier tablet or sing a song to their doll. This was just an example of a busybody with too much time on their hands. Police will do naff all.

You know that lady was a Mumsnetter 🤣

Yes, but when they're sleeping at home they're not strapped down on their back like they are in a car seat, so much more likely to be able to cough it out

And also I work at a petrol station. Nobody takes their kids in while they are paying.

People need to understand there is a wide zone of different parenting styles between "how I would do things" and "police and social services need to be involved". Just like, it's recommended to cut up grapes... But you don't have to in order to avoid a phone call from the authorities. This is like that.

OP I can't imagine anyone will follow up this incident, and if they do it will be a box ticking exercise.

Im sure the police won't bother with it, they're underfunded and barely seem able to deal with serious crime. But no, you aren't meant to leave your children alone in the car.

I nearly did it once, to get cash. I would have just had to pop across the road and as soon as I locked the door (with my 7 month old asleep in the car seat), I just couldn't do it.

There was something deep within me which didn't feel right. What if someone hit the parked car? What if someone stole the car? Etc. Of course the law of averages dictates those things are highly unlikely, but not impossible.

I just think it isn't worth the risk.

I have left my toddler in the car while paying for fuel as the car is always in sight. The same when getting/ returning a trolley. I always park near to them so the car is in sight. Don’t get the issue with that. I wouldn’t leave them to go into a shop where I couldn’t always see the car though. My partner once left him in the car after collecting him from nursery as he needed to nip back inside to get something. He left the car completely out of sight. I went ape shit and told him never to do it again. If she phoned the police, it would likely be words of advice unless there were other concerns discovered. Wouldn’t worry.

Also agree with you. Trigger happy reporting of non events actually take time away and dilutes the authorities ability to deal with kids in actual danger. Social workers et all are overworked. So use resources wisely.

This! I actually view a car as much safer for children than my house, so many more potentially dangerous things, upstairs windows, potions, knives you name it. Luckily my child is not old enough to unplug himself and we have an EV so that doesn’t have a handbrake you can work, equally living somewhere flat means there’s zero risk if they could access one. Anyway back to the topic, if there’s no risk of overheating in the car from a warm day then the car is the safest place for children to be left unattended for short periods vs a room in my house when I’ve gone to the toilet!

Here we go again. Don’t leave children on their own in a car, ever.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2002/feb/01/rebeccaallison

This is prett tragic but thankfully unlikely event.

Very sad. But I presume we can find a similar story on a tumble drier or other electrical fault in a bedroom when a child is sleeping in their bedroom unattended..

Don't do anything that you wouldn't be happy for other people to see and pull you up on.
You had other options OP.

We have an older child with additional needs and would never leave him in the car alone even now as he'd be scared seeing me walking away, he comes with me to put the trolley back (until he was better at walking I kept him in the trolley while unloading shopping, pushed the trolley to the return spot and then carried him back)
And only use pay at pump stations, or the rare times I've had to go in after planning it badly I've taken him in with me.