Mum taking me to court for grandparents visitation.

[mummytoalittleboy]

-My mum is taking me to court for grandparents visitation over my 2 month old.
-My mum rang me a few nights ago screaming down the phone at me because me and my partner had decided to buy a puppy. She was saying I’m endangering my son’s life and that I have to get rid of the dog or she’s ringing social services and saying I’m neglecting my son. She then went on to ring my Nan and make up a list of ways she thinks I’m neglecting my son.
-For reference both me and my mum are qualified childcare practitioners and both have SEND training.
-Me and my partner recently moved into our own house a few weeks after our son was born and since we moved in she has tried dictating every little thing we’ve done in the house. We agreed we were doing carpet month by month as the rooms are rather large and each room would cost £950+ to carpet, she wasn’t happy with this as she wanted us to get every room done in one go knowing the move was unexpectedly quick and we didn’t have much money at the time of moving.
-She sees my son once for a few hours every week or two weeks when she decides she wants to come round. She has only ever had him twice for 3 hours each time so that I could unpack some boxes when we first moved in.
-She’s claiming I’m neglecting my son because she doesn’t agree with our decision to buy a dog, saying that I don’t clean his bottles because the one day she came round in the morning his bottles from the previous night were on the kitchen side waiting to be cleaned as he still had bottles made up. She’s claiming my house is dirty all because we haven’t put carpet down, for reference the previous tenants laminate is still down! She’s claiming I don’t clean my son as he had dirt on the bottom of his feet from when we had taken him in the garden a few hours prior to see if he liked the feeling of grass! She has now said she is taking me to court for visitation of him.
-For reference me and my mum have never had a good relationship. When I was younger she used to emotionally manipulate me, I would have my phone taken off of me for months at a time for not doing as she had asked within the minute she asked it right up until I turned 16 and moved into my nans house. My stepdad took me to my nans at midnight one night when I was 15 for my own safety where I stayed for over a week because my mum found out I was SH due to struggling with mental health. During that week my nan had to keep the door locked as my mum kept turning up drunk and screaming abuse at us through the letter box. The only reason I went back home was because she promised to seek help for her drinking and to go to therapy. She used to force feed me food that I didn’t like during my teenage years until I threw up and then would scream at me and throw things in my direction to scare me. My stepdad used to tear my room apart looking for things he could have a go at me over and then would refuse to let me leave the house until it was tidy, even to go to school. He once threw a plate at a wall just above my head to scare me.
-I have told my mum I do not want to see her or speak to her at all after accusing me of neglecting my son who is very obviously not neglected if you just look at the boy, the weight he’s put on is massive, he’s very advanced for two months holding his head up on his own, sitting up with little to no help, copying facial expressions. Because I have told her I want no contact at all and I would not allow her into my home to see my son and that I don’t trust her to have him on her own as she’s the sort of person that would refuse to give him back, she’s said she is taking me to court for visitation rights. I don’t want her anywhere near him.

Have I got a leg to stand on or will they grant her visitation?

EDIT: I only just noticed that this is in legal. I shouldn't have answered because I don't have legal training! I'll leave what I wrote though, as a bump for your post.

My understanding is that grandparents have only won these cases where they have previously been doing a substantial amount of childcare for their grandchildren, meaning that your parents have no case.

I hope someone will come along soon who is more knowledgeable.

Grandparents rights are extremely limited in the UK

Generally a court will only get involved to protect an established relationship - for example I lived with my grandparents from the age of 7. If my parents took me back they'd likely have been given permission to go to court for access under current rules.

You'd have to get specific legal advice but it's unlikely that you'd mother would get permission to go to court without access without being able to show a very close relationship with your child.

It's also a lengthy process. GP's can't just go for access. They have to first go to court for permission to do so.

She Swillington be granted any access to your child. You need to go absolute no contact with her and your sf. You've got your own family now, put her and her behaviour in the past. Is your nan still alive? If so, get a statement from her regarding your mothers past behaviour so you'll have it if its ever needed but its unlikely any solicitor will entertain her and if they do its only to take her money. You will not be made give her access to your child.

I would move away if you can. Even an hour away would help. She's got no rights to see your dc.

@mummytoalittleboy It's highly unlikely she'd be successful.

Grandparents can initially try to secure contact with their grandchildren through an informal agreement with the child’s parents or carers.

An independent family mediator can help families reach an agreement. The mediator will organise a ‘mediation information and assessment meeting’ (MIAM). A local mediator can be found on the family mediation council’s website.

Where arrangement cannot be reached informally, the grandparent can seek to apply for a child arrangements order to agree access.

A person can only apply to court once they have attended mediation

Your mother is abusing you, and threatening you. Please protect yourself and your baby by recording any outbursts, keeping abusive messages and recording her behaviour in diary form. You can consider getting a restraining order if she won’t leave you alone.

Pkesse speak to your midwife or health visitor about getting extra support

Your mother has zero chance of winning this case. She is just trying to frighten and control you. Please speak to the GP about some counselling op. You are very vulnerable and need to process her behaviour and how to stay safe in the future.

You can never trust her with your baby again. Never leave her alone or in sole care.

I would move away as far as you can in the longer term too.

I've seen it said repeatedly on here that only grandparents who've had a close relationship with the grandchild can get their rights enforced through the courts

Just to add, I am only 20, me and my partner moved into our home 3 weeks after our baby was born and he wasn’t given any time off to help with the move as he had only just gone back to work after paternity leave which meant I had to do most of the move with my 64 year old Nan and 67 year old grandad’s help 3 weeks after a c section.

Even that’s extremely rare, you would have to prove a huge amount of childcare on a daily basis for years and years, almost a parental role, that means the severance of such contact would seriously deprive the child. It is exceedingly rare.

Your age is irrelevant unless you are under the age of eighteen.

It was more for the point of I’m still pretty young, still adjusting to life as a mum and adjusting to living on my own (not with a family member) in an area where I don’t know anybody as this was the area the council moved us to, and I have no clue where I stand with the law in the terms of what rights she has and how to prevent them from granting her any access x

In all honesty and with kindness, do not get a puppy right now. They are hard work, as much if not more so than a 2 month old baby.
You have enough to cope with.
X

Check on your home insurance - you may have cover for legal fees. If not it would still be worth paying for a session with a solicitor to fully understand the legal situation.

If you Mum does report you to SS - don't worry, the SW isn't going to be phased by a house with missing carpets, with a dog, (although I think you're brave getting a puppy after a Csection and a 2 month old. If you haven't bought one yet, I would hold over until you are better recovered from your abdominal wound.)

Don't engage with your mum, don't tell her your blocking her, don't inflame the situation like that - step right back. Get a door chain fitted and use it so she can't come bursting into the house.

She has no rights in law to your child. IIRC she has too even seek permission to even apply for access, she can't just apply so she has to prove she has a claim, before she can claim sort of thing

She wont have a leg to stand on with such a small baby.
However you maybe want to decide what you want to do going forward around boundaries with her. Are you going NC or LC?
And as PP said, a puppy is amazing fun but it's like adding another baby into the mix. Get an older rescue dog or wait a bit until your DC is just that bit older

My family are farmers.
When I was little, my grandparents kept me all summer every summer while my parents and older siblings worked.
Believe it or not, I thought I was being punished. I thought I should be packing fruit alongside my family instead of being with my grandparents up in the mountains. I was 5.
But my family got along.
You’re the mum. You know what’s best and what’s right for your baby.
You don’t need to be 50 to figure that out.
Somebody with some legal knowledge will be around shortly.
In the meantime, remember your common sense and remember that you don’t have to accept verbal abuse from anyone - not even your mum.
Sending love from across an ocean and a continent ❤️

It sounds like she should not be aloud to work with or be around children or your step dad .
But i think for your own sanity and just till house sorted and baby older I wouldn't get a puppy.
It will ruin any new carpets and you dont want a baby learning to crawl with a puppy learning to be house trained
Mix in the extra stress you already have with a crazy mother and recovery from a c section.

Have you costed the puppy? Mine costs around £100 per month. Food, insurance and medication do add up.

She hasn’t got a chance. It sounds like a threat to try and make you do as you’re told and now you’re a mum the scariest threats will always involve your child (reports to ss, taking you to court etc). With that in mind I’d think very hard about what role you allow your mother to play in you and your son’s life.

Your two month old is sitting up? 🤨

From your post, she does sound awful, but I think most people would think taking on a puppy with a two month old and a house move is unwise.

id go no contact with her, block her number and if she turns up repeatedly document it and ask her to leave.

Your mother is unhinged. She has no legal leg to stand on with her bid to see your 2 month old son as others have said. Her wildly laughable accusations are not going to get you in any trouble. What parent doesn't have some mess with a 2 month old with little sleep and feeding. You are obviously being seen by a health visitor I would think and your little boy putting on weight and seen he is healthy and loved. I am sorry you were subject to emotional abuse and still arw by a controlling, narcissistic mother and nasty stepfather. I would block them both and if either threaten, harrass or come to your home get a restraining order. Your mother shouldn't be allowed to care for children! She is deranged.

Stop seeing your mum as she’s nasty and abusive.

Don’t worry about this. Your mum doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

Has your mother’s behaviour been noted by social services?

I think you should contact a charity like women’s aid. They may be able to point you in the wrong direction but your mother is abusing you and you need to keep her away from your child