DS damaged a car but owner grabbed him

[OliveTree75]

So at around 5pm I got a call from my 12yo DS who was playing out. He was crying and said I would need to come to the park as he dropped his scooter and it has hit a car. He was very upset. A woman then came on the phone and said whilst he was apologetic that I would need to come down to her house.
My DP went down and looked at the damage. Very small dint where handle has hit the car. Annoying but he said we would pay. When they got home, DS was visibly very upset. I asked him to explain what happened and he told me:
He dropped his scooter and it hit the car and he panicked. Him and his friends looked around
but nobody there (residential area) and didn’t know which house car belonged to. He started to walk up the street. The man from
tne house then came out and shouted at him
to come back, which he did. He said he was apologising and started to cry. The woman has then gone up to him, grabbed him by his back pack and pulled him back to her house. He said he asked her to get off him.
Now this is not just me saying this as he’s my ds but he’s the softest, most gentle boy and he did not give them any abuse and came back when asked. Whether or not this was the corrext thing to do, I went back to the house and asked her to explain. They completely agreed with his story that they shouted and he came back but they were worried he would run so she grabbed his bag and kept hold of him until a parent arrived. I explained that he is 12 years old and having a man shouting at him and a women dragging him is not acceptable when he was apologising, crying and was walking back
to them. She tried to say I was only complaining to get out of paying but I explained we’ve already said we will pay and the car is not what I have an issue with. I explained that my ds is grounded and we will be paying for the car. However I am very angry she dragged my 12yo ds. Is her behaviour out of line or am I overreacting?
She also accused him of criminal damage but she even said herself it was an accident.

Surely this is classed as common assault? Tell her you won’t press charges if they pay for their own car

I think if he genuinely was walking back to them when called they where out of order however if what your son is saying isn't exactly true and he tried to run then I think it wasn't unreasonable to stop him and get your details. Someone around there is likely to have a ring camera

I’d tell her you are waiting for the CCTV footage before paying for the car, then you can see for yourselves what she did to him. Calling 101 was the right thing to do.

He is 12. Over the age of criminal responsibility, ran his scooter into a car, caused damage and then tried to leave the scene of the accident. That's a criminal offence and I can see why they physically detained him if he was trying to leave.

How would they have known who he was if they had let him leave? Why should they foot the bill?

He shouldn't have been playing near the cars in the first place. Who lets their kid play in the road?

OP already checked with the woman and the woman confirmed that he was not trying to run and was contacting his parents and waiting with them. She just grabbed him and dragged him in to hers “just incase.”

Did you read any of the OP’s posts? Everything you’ve said is wrong.

This also wouldn’t rise to criminal damage.

It’s a valuable lesson for your son.

The lesson: run away faster next time.

Then they are definitely unreasonable

I’m so sorry for your son @OliveTree75. He should have not have been dragged. He accidentally caused some damage. It’s not like he was out raising hell.

It won’t be a popular response but I wouldn’t pay this awful woman a penny! I hope the police pay her a visit, watch the CCTV and give her what for for manhandling a child.

Criminal damage is deliberate damage. What sounds like here is the equivalent of a stone chip type damage (probably get worse from dooring a car in car park).

a teacher would not be able to treat a pupil like that in that situation so not sure why a random adult thinks they can.

I would not be paying unless the CCTV footage is forthcoming tbh.

EXACTLY!! He’s been grabbed and dragged and held against his will. The woman should have asked for his parents contact details and called them there and then to explain. Absolutely zero need to lay a finger on a child!!

From the op.

'He is 12.' So he is over the age of criminal responsibility. Correct.

'He dropped his scooter and hit the car.' So he hit the car with his scooter. Correct.

'There was a small dent.' So he damaged it. Correct.

'He started walking down the street.' So he left it without notifying anyone. Correct.

Not really seeing where I'm wrong?

They were playing out, heading to the park. Does anyone actually drop a scooter unless they're pissing about? Doubtful. So they were likely messing about by the road. They're 12 and in trouble, very likely to be lying so this part is speculation but having 4 kids, it's a fairly educated guess.

Again, you’re totally wrong. Cherry picking to make it sound like a dickhead kid out causing havoc. That’s not what happened as confirmed by the owner of the car. Not criminal damage, not kids mucking around, an accident and he did wait around looking for an owner. All confirmed by the owners who saw it happen on camera.

Sorry, I’m still missing your justification for grabbing an apologising, crying kid? Or maybe your standards are just a little, er, different.

Whatever has gone on no adult should be dragging a child!! I think OP has done the correct thing- offer to pay for the damage. I would be fuming if someone dragged my child (who wasn’t running away but returning). These things happen it was an accident.

God some sickos on here tonight ! Imagine if the poor child had actually dented the precious car ! Probably would call for the death penalty.

a kid drops something walking along. It hits a car. Have people like @Balloonhearts never touched another car on the road in their whole life? It’s a car on the street ! It’s not the Crown Jewels.

mental over reaction by the horrid people, well done for calling the police. I imagine your DS will be quite shaken up for a while.

I'm pleased you've reported it to the police. No way I'd be paying for their "dent" or even believe it was caused by a child's scooter.

I'd be pretty darn cross they'd laid a hand on my son.

Everyone is being very dramatic. She grabbed his backpack. She was worried he’d do a runner. Maybe because she’s had previous experience, we don’t know but to say she was abducting him or keeping him hostage is ridiculous. Holding someone “hostage” is not keeping them somewhere until their parents arrive. Security guards do similar all the time.

I really hope you have nothing to do with enforcing the law

The neighbours are not security guards.

Why? Everything I wrote is correct. Unfortunately the chances of any action being taken is very small.

Grabbing him is restraining him.

This is not the world gone soft this is us knowing better than using force to other human beings.

@OliveTree75 dont ground him it was an accident. Contact police regarding how it was handled. I would also state you want this cctv footage prior to paying.

Yeah I have and I paid for it. Because it doesn't matter if its an accident. You damage someone's property, you tell them and fix it. I doubt anyone has ever hit a car on purpose so it being an accident is irrelevant.

He tried to leave, didn't come back apologising until they were calling after him. They didn't hurt him, didn't even touch him. They grabbed his bag and marched him back to call his mother. Perfectly reasonable reaction.

From the comments here, I'm starting to see where all these badly brought up teenagers are coming from.

He is 12 and didn’t know what to do. We’ve not had a conversation and he will know what to do should this arise again. Considering his age he’s enjoying his first taste of freedom and he’s not going to know how to react in every situation. He wouldn’t have even known there was any damage because I struggled to see it myself.
He's an absolutely lovely kid and I have no concerns about him as a teenager, thank you.

You are actually insane 😂
What a ridiculous comment