DS damaged a car but owner grabbed him

[OliveTree75]

So at around 5pm I got a call from my 12yo DS who was playing out. He was crying and said I would need to come to the park as he dropped his scooter and it has hit a car. He was very upset. A woman then came on the phone and said whilst he was apologetic that I would need to come down to her house.
My DP went down and looked at the damage. Very small dint where handle has hit the car. Annoying but he said we would pay. When they got home, DS was visibly very upset. I asked him to explain what happened and he told me:
He dropped his scooter and it hit the car and he panicked. Him and his friends looked around
but nobody there (residential area) and didn’t know which house car belonged to. He started to walk up the street. The man from
tne house then came out and shouted at him
to come back, which he did. He said he was apologising and started to cry. The woman has then gone up to him, grabbed him by his back pack and pulled him back to her house. He said he asked her to get off him.
Now this is not just me saying this as he’s my ds but he’s the softest, most gentle boy and he did not give them any abuse and came back when asked. Whether or not this was the corrext thing to do, I went back to the house and asked her to explain. They completely agreed with his story that they shouted and he came back but they were worried he would run so she grabbed his bag and kept hold of him until a parent arrived. I explained that he is 12 years old and having a man shouting at him and a women dragging him is not acceptable when he was apologising, crying and was walking back
to them. She tried to say I was only complaining to get out of paying but I explained we’ve already said we will pay and the car is not what I have an issue with. I explained that my ds is grounded and we will be paying for the car. However I am very angry she dragged my 12yo ds. Is her behaviour out of line or am I overreacting?
She also accused him of criminal damage but she even said herself it was an accident.

Or maybe the car shouldn’t be parked where it might be damaged. Why is it on the kids not to have fun?

Jesus 🙄 I can imagine loads of differing ways it could have happened. Does it matter?

She won’t send you the footage because she’s probably realised now that what she did was illegal.

She’s probably concerned you will share it on social media and people will be quite rightly outraged that she essentially abducted your child off the street onto her property.

"You can see why" a grown woman put hands on an unrelated child?

Hahaha love this

So no car should ever be parked where it might be damaged? Have you an example of such a place, safe from any kind of accidental harm?

I think the PP must have a very limited life experience to not comprehend how this might have happened 😀

Sorry 2 seperate issues going on here , I would be furious 2 strangers yelled and dragged my
child back to their house into their porch , he must have been terrified . I would report that . Hope your DS is ok !

Accidents happen and if she’s admitted it was an accident you wouldn’t get all the footage , just where he damaged the car . I think the police would have more to say about their behaviour than your DS’s !

If she had grabbed one of my kids and tried to drag them off they would have kicked and screamed and probably bit her. In this situation he wasn’t really in any physical danger, but if a stranger grabs your child and starts dragging them somewhere teach them to kick off and come and get you. He needs to be more careful with his scooter, but that doesn’t excuse this behaviour.

You’re right, it would be criminal damage if he did it deliberately or if he was being reckless eg chucking the scooter around near the car but a genuine accident is not criminal damage and is a civil matter.

I would have been livid.

They dragged a 12 year old inside their house and forced him to stay there, whilst he was asking them to let him go. I mean what the actual fuck.
Anyone who thinks that's an acceptable reaction wants their head examining.

I would definitely have gone round op to discuss it when this came to light. And as you've done, I would have reported their actions to the police.

Whilst I would have initially been more than happy to offer to pay for the accidental damage, given their reaction then hell would freeze over before I paid a penny unless I saw that CCTV.

Please don't encourage children to knock on doors of people they don't know. It's potentially unsafe.

Wow. You sound like a genuine throwback.

No way in hell would I accept two fully grown adults shouting at my kid and one of them dragging him into their home. If it was my kids they'd have fought like crazy to get away, not knowing if these angry adults were going to pull them inside a house and hurt them.

Sadly there are angry people in our communities and how the heck is a 12yo meant to assess this.

He had an accident, he didn't stove in their car window with a brick! At 12yo I'd expect my kid to walk home and tell me what happened so we can go back together, find the owner and apologise.

Reporting to police was the right thing to do, you can't hold a child against their will unless you are law enforcement.

Not sending the cctv speaks volumes and no chance I'm paying for the car with out the cctv to prove it was my son and without a quote from a body mechanic for the repair. Those adults want to play tough with a child, well play tough back

I wouldn't be paying for the damage OP. It was an accident and that's what happens when cars are parked on the road

I don’t know why you’ve grounded him over an accident.

I would report their behaviour to the police. It’s unacceptable

Cars can get damaged parked in car parks, parked on the streets or parked on driveways. That's the risk owners take. You can't shroud them (the cars , not the owners) in bubble wrap.

Nothing excuses this woman's behaviour though. I suspect she knows this now and no longer has any intention of supplying her cctv footage. It would also provide evidence of her own wrongful behaviour and so could be used against her. So, she's shot herself in the foot. I wouldn't pay without seeing the cctv footage. So, stalemate.

She also might not even have CCTV.

I don’t think op said inside , rather back to the house. Only police can insist on seeing cctv if there is any.

Glad it’s been reported OP - now the police can deal with it appropriately and give you the correct information. I’d put money on the cctv footage being ‘lost’.

What happened to your son was false imprisonment and battery. At the very least it was a section 5 public order offense and I would expect the police to take appropriate action.

Would I grab a child who wasn’t mine, NO I can say I definitely wouldn’t 🤷‍♀️

I would expect they’ve had enough of kids who cause damage and parents who do nothing. Not saying that’s the case here but it sounds as if they have reached the end of their tether.

I think you’ve been very level headed. It’s good to separate out the damage to the car from the way they treated your son. Dragging him into their porch and keeping hold of him is totally out of order. Even if he was running away, that would be a dangerous way to behave with a child and could still lead to police having a chat so it’s right that, as he was cooperating, that the police speak to them about that behaviour.

Completely unacceptable, even if he was going to run it’s completely disproportionate to a tiny ding on the car that’s hard to see.

My ds was waiting for his gf getting home when a man grabbed him at the end of her street. Accused him of following his dw and dc home one dark night. And of watching his house... Tbf ds (teen) was wearing a balaclava.... As teens do and it was winter.. Ds absolutely shit himself..
He explained to the man who did listen. Who messaged the gf's dm (neighbour group chat) and ds was who he said he was and was waiting for his gf... The man was so apologetic for grabbing him. Rang me to apologise.. Said he would have dropped ds home but had had a pint... All blown over and sorted. If he had of grabbed him and it wasn't sorted I would have reported him. I hope you get sorted with the police op.