DS damaged a car but owner grabbed him

[OliveTree75]

So at around 5pm I got a call from my 12yo DS who was playing out. He was crying and said I would need to come to the park as he dropped his scooter and it has hit a car. He was very upset. A woman then came on the phone and said whilst he was apologetic that I would need to come down to her house.
My DP went down and looked at the damage. Very small dint where handle has hit the car. Annoying but he said we would pay. When they got home, DS was visibly very upset. I asked him to explain what happened and he told me:
He dropped his scooter and it hit the car and he panicked. Him and his friends looked around
but nobody there (residential area) and didn’t know which house car belonged to. He started to walk up the street. The man from
tne house then came out and shouted at him
to come back, which he did. He said he was apologising and started to cry. The woman has then gone up to him, grabbed him by his back pack and pulled him back to her house. He said he asked her to get off him.
Now this is not just me saying this as he’s my ds but he’s the softest, most gentle boy and he did not give them any abuse and came back when asked. Whether or not this was the corrext thing to do, I went back to the house and asked her to explain. They completely agreed with his story that they shouted and he came back but they were worried he would run so she grabbed his bag and kept hold of him until a parent arrived. I explained that he is 12 years old and having a man shouting at him and a women dragging him is not acceptable when he was apologising, crying and was walking back
to them. She tried to say I was only complaining to get out of paying but I explained we’ve already said we will pay and the car is not what I have an issue with. I explained that my ds is grounded and we will be paying for the car. However I am very angry she dragged my 12yo ds. Is her behaviour out of line or am I overreacting?
She also accused him of criminal damage but she even said herself it was an accident.

Have you heard back from the police? They've assaulted and verbally abused a minor. I would also ask what would've happened had he a)refused to call you, b) didn't have the means to call you or c) couldn't reach you on the phone? Would they have kept him against his will? Their actions are disgraceful.
They also need to realise that in doing what they did over a minor accident, they could have ended up with a parent on their doorstep who didn't take it as calmly as you. Personally I would be demanding the CCTV and making them aware you've alerted the police.

There are some very hard hearted people on this thread

You're not allowed to film past your own boundary, are you?

A child damaging a car on purpose is one thing, an accident is just that. The couple were out of order to drag your son, and the damage if they want it repaired should come from their car insurance, not your wallet. It’s kind of you to offer to pay, but you have no legal obligation to do so. I would let them go to small claims court, they can’t ask you for the money as you aren’t responsible for the damage, and they’d be hard pressed to get funds from a 12 year old. Even if they did manage to get a claim, they could do a payment plan because he’s 12 of 20% his pocket money each month- ie £1-£2 per month. It’s a ridiculous situation. However, you do have a valid reason to call the police, they withheld your child against his will.

Nope, you’re not - nor are you allowed to physical restrain a child unless you’re specifically trained to do so and are in a role where you’re legally allowed to.

OP - what did the police say?

After the way he was treated, I WOULD be asking for proof that the damage to the car was caused by the scooter.

It sounds like they pretty much kidnapped and threatened him in the telling. You can't just go around dragging kids into your house! Their behaviour sounds completely unacceptable. And their lack of wishing to share CCTV suggests it shows them assaulting a minor and possibly that the damage was on their car before the scooter went near it.

I wouldn't expect a child to knock on randoms' doors

There's no reason to ground him.
It was an accident.

Same here. They held your 12 year old son. They should be charged.

Something similar happened in Australian and the person was charged. Although, that guy captured and tied up children that broke into his back yard to swim in his pool and then called the police himself.

Oh my goodness no. He made a mistake like children do. No excuse for the adults reaction.

I'd be livid OP and would speak to the police

Why was he grounded for an accident?

He'll definitely run next time anything like this happens!! Get the police involved - it's verging on assault and is not the right response to the situation. Big bully!!

The police said that they have spoke to the woman on the phone but they are apparently away until Wednesday visiting family. They are going to go round when they are back. My DP has had a text saying they will send footage once they are back but I can’t see that happening.

also, he isn’t grounded. That was a knee jerk reaction to being told he had damaged a car before knowing the details. A mistake on my part and I’ve apologised to him.

So they effectively tried to kidnap a child? Yeah I’d be contacting the police.

It’s absolutely unacceptable and he must have been frightened.

As a pp has said, they need a visit from the police to talk to them about how they cannot do this.

edited to say I’ve just seen your update. You’ve done the right thing.

No footage, no payment - you need proof he did it. I’m only suggesting this level of belligerence so they don’t wipe or ‘lose’ the footage

How do you think they get too and from the park? Are the saying they should be using the road? Back streets? No 12 year old should be knocking on random doors. Who knows what could happen! Ridiculous comment.

I would hold off paying until I’ve seen the CCTV, especially as the dent is barely noticeable. It may have already been there.

The age of criminal responsibility in the UK is 10 years old.

Wow, I understand your child has damaged someone's car but accidentally damaging property isn't usually treated as criminal damage, especially when it’s clearly unintentional and the person accepts responsibility. I am shocked that you haven't gone apeshit at those people for unlawfully restraining your 12 year old child ! I don't see them doing it to an adult!
Self detention (like stopping a shoplifter) is only allowed under very narrow circumstances, generally when a crime is actively being committed and immediate action is necessary. That does not apply to a child walking away from an accident after panicking! Glad you called the police!

Yes but he hasn’t committed a criminal offence.

All these people saying "contact the police" for what, let's be honest most 12 year olds are complete arseholes, how are they to know which ones. There car was damaged just pay them and let it go, they are the victims, not your son. Jeeeez

Why is your son grounded!? Don’t see why he should be???

Phone the police!

No, its not acceptable. They are adults and should have handled this better.

I know, but I just used it to point out that at his age he should be able to take some responsibility and by the sound of it, he did! I think he behaved very responsibly and I certainly wouldn't be happy if my young DS was dragged into someone's house. It also puts the householder in an extremely vulnerable position because the child could have claimed all sorts! It's definitely worth the OP reporting it to the police as they would probably be happy to have a word with the adults concerned. They did that for me when I was getting harassed by someone whenever they saw me. At least I assume they did because the harassment suddenly stopped and then the person involved seemed to disappear! I assume they moved away.