Baby Removed at Birth Support

[Mumtobe799]

Hello

This is extremely controversial and I feel embarrassed posting but I’m looking for a bit of help. I am due to give birth within the next few weeks and after Social Services involvement throughout my pregnancy, I have been told they will be removing my baby at birth. Baby will be placed with their Dad under an interim court order whilst assessments are ongoing.

Does anybody know what removal at birth actually means? My baby and I will need to stay in hospital for a few days, is it likely I will be able to stay with them or will they likely split us up? These are questions I have asked Social Services but they will not give me an answer.

I would like to breast feed; is this something Social Services have to support as it is in the best interest of baby. My baby is being removed due to mental health concerns, no issues around substance or alcohol abuse so that being in breast milk isn’t a worry.

If anyone with any legal experience or people who may have gone through or know someone who has gone through something similar can help I would really appreciate it. Thank you.

They will have to apply to the court for an interim care order. See a solicitor NOW who is on the Children Panel and they will arrange for you to be represented at the hearing. Don’t delay.

I presume at birth means shortly after birth, not a few days later? I think you need legal advice asap.

I don't really understand how you can BF if your baby is going to be removed at birth. Are you talking about expressing milk and shipping it out to Dad?

My baby and I will need to stay in hospital for a few days,

How do you know this, is there a separate medical issue with the baby? If you are booked in for a section, that won’t necessarily mean the baby stays with you, under these circumstances.

Hope you get more advice soon, but I would also refer yourself to a local advocacy service. They can help whether or not you have a solicitor also involved. I'm sorry you are going through all this.

It's really impossible to say as we do not know what concerns SS has regarding you and your ability to care for your child. They must be of the opinion you present a considerable risk to your child. I cannot imagine they will allow you to care for the baby post birth if this is the case. Are you able to supply further details? I understand if you would rather not.

I cannot emphasise strongly enough the need to get a solicitor on the children's panel. You would usually be entitled to legal aid.

I'm in no way any sort of expert, but I would imagine that with regards to the breastfeeding, they will weigh up the risk (i.e. in allowing you to keep your baby to facilitate breastfeeding) vs. benefit (i.e. the benefit of your baby being breastfed) and I doubt they would prioritise breastfeeding if they've already got to the stage of wanting to remove your baby.

It sounds like a terrible situation and I hope you can find someone that can advocate for you.

I think this is your second baby, isn't it?

Your baby won't have to stay in hospital for a few days. She or he can be discharged immediately to her father's care.

You won't need to stay in either, unless there are medical reasons for this.

As your baby is being removed at birth, I don't think that breastfeeding will be advisable or possible.

I have known biological mothers whose previous children were already emoted and whose baby was going to be removed at birth be allowed to breastfeed. Generally it is seen to be of benefit to the infant and I am sure you would like to bf for this reason ❤️
please so consult a solicitor and work with your child’s social worker

All the best xx

Its so hard to say what could happen.

It really does depend on what they are saying. So if for example you have BPD but are not medicated or working with your MH team then that will be viewed differently to if you have a history of post partum psychosis or severe PND to the point of neglecting the child.

I agree that the first thing you need to do is seek legal help, you need someone speaking for you and the best person to do that is a solicitor.

It sounds like your ex has now accepted that the baby is his, if he's willing to look after it from birth.

I’ll answer some of the questions above

I have a specialist solicitor, I was just wondering if anyone has any advice.

Baby has to stay in hospital for a few days due to potential withdrawal to the mental health medications I have taken during pregnancy (these were prescribed by a psychiatrist)

I have to stay in hospital for a few days to monitor for post partum psychosis as it can come on quite quickly. I am unable to be discharged without a mental health assessment.

Is it standard procedure to allow Mum to care for baby at the hospital or will I be moved to a different area from baby?

The midwifery service has recommended I breastfeed as this will help with withdrawal symptoms. I understand I will not be able to breastfeed consistently but I would like to establish breastfeeding and then continue to breast feed during contact time and give expressed milk to the Dad.

My baby is being removed due to a history of post partum psychosis, I have unfortunately had psychosis during this pregnancy and been in a mental health hospital.

I just want the opportunity to spend time with my baby in hospital to establish bonding and breastfeeding, but no one will tell me what is going to happen and my planned birth is very soon. I was wondering if anyone knew the standard protocol for removal at birth (I know this can be anywhere from minutes after to a few days/week depending on circumstances).

The baby is my ex partner’s child although we are still waiting on DNA testing as this is something he has requested before he will look after baby.

Sorry for the third update

Will I be able to name baby or is this something Dad and Social Services will do? I have a name picked out and I would like them to share my surname, potentially double-barrelled if the Dad requests this. With them going to Dad will he be the one to pick a name and surname?

Oh OP. Sending you love and best wishes - what a tough situation.

I hope you get a chance to breastfeed, but I will say don't worry to much about bonding. Your baby has been inside you, they'll recognise you later.

Godspeed and I hope things go as smoothly as possible

I don't have any advice as such, but lots of compassion. I'm so, so sorry that you're going through this. Please take good care of yourself. Much love to you.

Thank you for your kind words!

I have a lot of meetings over the next week so I’m going to update this thread regularly just in case another woman is going through this.

I understand a lot of people probably don’t think I’m deserving of my child or being a Mum to them but I am really trying.

Unfortunately none of us can answer your questions here as it is very much specific to each situation. You need to speak to your social worker and your solicitor and they will be able to advise you. I wish you all the best.

Good idea to update the thread. That will be helpful I'm sure.

And why would anyone think you are undeserving of being a mum? Mental illness (which hopefully you will get sorted) is not your fault. Many of us will have encountered mental illness in our families, from minor to severe. There is no judgement OP. Hope the birth goes well and you will be well enough very soon to be able to be the mum you want to be.

Post partum psychosis can happen to anyone. Nobody is judging you. It's just a very sad situation.

Please go to your solicitor with all these questions. It must be horrible for you to feel so much stress and disempowerment during pregnancy.

So it seems you have legal advice.
I would also engage a breast feeding counsellor and, with your doctor's okay, prepare to express your breast milk for the baby to drink whomever is caring for them. Even a week or two would mean that the baby receives some vital antibodies.

Hoping you remain stable and well and that baby is healthy too. Maybe you are destined to be the parent of your children when they are older than newborns.

I'm sorry this is happening to you OP. I have bipolar disorder and had SS involvement shortly after the birth of my second child and you have my utmost sympathy, it's a rough process to go through. PPP came on very quickly in the hospital but they were able to control it as they knew it was likely.

Is there a reason the psychosis isn't controlled with medication? Is it just very treatment resistant? Have you been back and forth with the mental health team and told them what's at stake in the hope that they can put you on something better that might control it?

When I had SS involvement the social worker put a rocket up the arse of the mental health team and got them to sort out my medication, but I did have to stop BF to get stable. I know you want to BF and everyone will say that's your choice, but if you don't BF, could you get a better medication that might mean you can actually keep your baby?

Sending unmumsnetty hugs. 💐

I see my first child regularly (my children have the same Dad) and we have a great bond despite not having a typical mother/child lives with relationship.

I hope I remain as stable as possible and I do believe the older they get and the longer I don’t have post partum psychosis for there is seen to be less risk. It is such a cruel illness.

I have no insight to offer you, just saw your post and wanted to wish you well. It sounds a horribly difficult situation to be in, and I hope you and your little ones get the care and support you all need x