Please help. Proof of domestic abuse.

[Helpjusthelp]

Hello, I really need some help.

Who can I ask for help with a 'Proof of domestic abuse' form?

I've asked the GP, but I've never spoken to them previously about domestic abuse so they can't help.

I've asked
Women's aid,
Domestic abuse helpline,
Wellbeing cafe,
Social services.
All of those I've spoken to about the abuse previously, but they aren't able to help.

I've asked the police, who have sent me an email confirming previous contact, but I'm fairly certain that this won't be 'enough'. Waiting to have this confirmed.

I'm also waiting to hear back from my counsellor.

Is there anybody else who I can ask?
Having to try to 'prove' this, right now, is absolutely mentally destroying me.

Glad a solicitor arrived and i stand corrected. OP if you have been assessed as low risk you may well have to represent yourself.

It is tough I won't lie but you can do it.

Have you made the application? Or are you the respondent?

Redlarge The application is done. The charity helped me with it.

Bannedontherun yes, I think so.

Thank you prh47bridge

Good luck OP there is an organisation called support through court who can help you (not legally advise) but sit with you and explain the processes/take notes. If you do end up representing yourself.
I hope it's over soon for you xxx

Thank you Redlarge. I definitely need somebody to help with my questions etc.

Avalovelace I've already asked most of the people on that list.

I'm trying to get an appointment with Citizens advice now.

I wonder whether you have had a SARA assessment?
Also, local councils may have an IDVA - Independent Domestic Violence Advisor - that you could speak with? Then there is Affordable Justice:
https://www.affordablejustice.co.uk

who may be able to help - go on the website for an enquiry; they don't seem to be taking calls ATM.

Thank you Spooky2000 for the response. I've asked for my records but there is a delay as my passport is out of date so I'm waiting for a new birth certificate to come.

Things have gone from bad to worse here, I have no support & everything is a nightmare.

I phoned a 'support line' on Thursday & they basically told me that I am clearly making allegations of abuse as I don't like the situation & I have no proof amongst other nasty things... It was awful. I said that I'd asked the GP if they can help but since they've never spoken to me about abuse previously then they can't. She said 'Well obviously if you havn't spoken to them then why would you even ask? Silly waste of time' She also said 'I don't know why you asked women's aid, they were never going to help you'.

I said that I contacted WA on the advice of the charity that I'm working with & she said 'Well, they are just a small charity, aren't they' (the charity who I'm working with)

It's actually not easy to get IDVA's support, all these resources are so stretched so normally only for high risk victims who got referred by police etc.
When I applied for legal aid (it was a few years ago) police put me down as medium risk. I had 2 letters from family worker, a letter from legal aid, police report and some character references (from church and school). The family worker's letter and police report probably weighed the most I would say.
Have you got a family worker involved op? Local children centre?

*A letter from women's aid, not legal aid

It is shocking what that helpline said to you. You are looking for evidence to support an application for legal aid - is that correct? Is the LA to file for divorce or child protection services or anything?

What I did when my ex assaulted or abused me was when I could see the direction in which it was heading, I had a voice recorder app on my phone and I would use that to record conversations, shouting and so on. These form records that you could use to make a statement at a police station with regard to coercive and controlling behaviour, surely. I kept photos and screenshots of messages, emails etc. I took photos of any physical abuse and contacted the police, got crime numbers and told them I wanted it on record but no action. I got crime numbers and kept these somewhere safe. It meant that the last time I was assaulted, I was high risk.

There is also rights of women: Rights of women that gives advice similar to what I have posted above and can be contacted for advice. You can also potentially apply for an occupation order to have him removed from the home; and depending on what's happening and where you live, DVPO's or DVPN's.

You can leave. I left but was subjected to all kinds of violence and coercive control prior to leaving, including threats to kill himself and eventually, false allegations made to the police about me which led to me being arrested. It has been a nightmare but the best part is that I AM AWAY FROM HIM. That will punish him far more than anything else; to not know what I'm doing, where I am, who I'm visiting etc.

Do you know or supsect he's done this previously? Have you applied for a Claires Law disclosure?

Go and see your GP and tell them that you are struggling because of all the dv you have suffered.
Then in a weeks time use the template letter and ask them to complete it.
It isn't that difficult to do.

I'm sorry if it is a stupid question, izzygirlis4. Some things are more difficult for others to do/work out how to do.

Not rtft but I used to be a prosecutor. We would consider loads of different evidence. Call logs from police. Notes or a diary that you have kept. Contemporaneous evidence is most helpful. Did you tell a friend or family member? Would they make a statement? Do you have any photos? Did anyone ever notice injuries on you?
Do you have mobile phone records that would show you calling the number for womens aid? All these things would help build a picture.
Best of luck. Taking the first steps is so difficult x.

Wrong

Sorry I didn't mean that to come across as nasty. I apologise.
I just meant that it isn't difficult. Just go to drs and tell them everything so it's recorded on your files.

AmyFFismyhomegirl Thank you, that's helpful. All of the numbers on my call log are 'help' numbers. That's all that I'm doing with my time.

I actually called this one on Thursday 197 times (!) in 2 hours, before they answered the phone. But all that 'proves' really is that I need help now, doesn't it.

I have the letter from WA saying that I've done parenting courses & had a face to face appointment regarding my ex (this year)

I applied to a law advocate service the other day so I'm hoping to hear back from them.

It's ok izzygirlis4, I will give it a try but my GP are absolutely the most unhelpful bunch ever. Whenever I read a post on here saying something like ... 'Just do 'this', my GP happily do it instantly', it takes me 6 months of begging for mine to even consider it.

@AmyFFismyhomegirl I was wondering if you are able to give further help on this?

I have the letter from women's aid & the letter from the police, just saying that they spoke to my ex. I can't get anything else.

What do I 'do' with those?

The GP, when I asked them again today were very unhelpful. She said 'I've already spoken to you about this. You've never come to us with bruises, I know you are telling us that it's emotional & things like that, now, but because we have never seen bruises then I cannot write the letter for you. Do you understand?'

Also many, many texts from my ex. Would those count? What do I do with them & who do I show them to?

Have you got a police crime number? This would count

I have, Kitkat1523 She wrote an email to me & added the crime number, but what do I do with it now?

(Sorry, I feel like I'm asking really stupid questions but I have no idea)

You apply online via the .gov website

Have you contacted the National Centre for Domestic Violence? They regularly deal with such issues and may be able to advise you.

Thank you, PinotPony. I havn't spoken to them.

I've filled in the form on the gov. Website & CLA are going to call me tomorrow. Hopefully things will be clearer then.

Hi OP, first of all I’m sorry you’re going through this, I can only imagine how difficult it is to deal with on top of everything else.

A few questions on the places you’ve tried so I could give proper advice:

• Police, was it just a call? I’m assuming there was never an arrest but I know you said they spoke to your ex, did they caution him? Have you ever sought or had an injunction, non-molestation order for example?
• Social services- how did they support you/your children specifically? Were they aware of the ongoing abuse at the time? Did you speak to them about this?

Women’s Aid hands are tied due to being low risk, so is the GP if you didn’t present at the time unfortunately.