Crazy ex in laws suing for child visitation and parental rights (England)

[Cliffordthedog]

Hi everyone,

I’d really appreciate insight or support of any kind on this, any legal insight would be extremely appreciated.

My ex partners (separated for over a year but not formally divorced yet) parents are taking us to court trying to get visitation and parental right over our daughter, age 3, after we stopped contact with them following an incident where they kicked my ex out of their flat while my daughter was also with them. He tried to get back in to her but they wouldn’t let him.

They’ve made false allegations about us on the form C100, incl. child abuse and neglect (these are completely false and we have plenty of evidence, this child is the light of our lives). My ex has had lifelong struggles with severe depression and alcohol. Never in front of our child. They’re using that to say he’s unfit to be a parent.

There’s a lot of toxicity and abuse in the family. My ex grew up with an enormous amount of trauma from them. His mom is an alcoholic who’s lied about going to rehab (can’t prove that one because ex partners sister won’t provide evidence, she’s their flying monkey). They’ve spat at my ex in front of our daughter. Started fights. Called the police on him for slamming a door (they lied about this on the C100, saying they asked the police to drop any charges while in actuality police saw it as a nuisance call — we have proof).

The sad part is we were naive and intimidated by them for a while after her birth so they were very involved. They have a mean narc streak and going against them was really tough, always. My daughter is their golden child and they’ve always tried to get more and more contact with her. They’d do nice things for us and demand more contact with her in return, then trash talk us to other people. We lived with them for several month so they’re claiming an established bond. But that bond was build on control and manipulation.

I also have a new partner who is my rock. Both him and I support my ex. Me and ex have a good relationship now and our daughter is our priority.

Ex in laws have also twice taken pictures in public of my new partner. Once surreptitiously (then circulated it among their friends) and then while my partner was working (outside). We filed a police report for stalking.

Please, if anyone has any experience with this, I’d appreciate any insight. We have some savings we were hoping to pay for a down payment on a house with. I’m so afraid that this is all going to go down the drain because I was so naive with these people.

Will x-post to raised by narcissists

Why should court grant your child's grandparents costody?
Don't you and your x share costody and co parent your child?

Are social services involved op?

Let them waste their money; don’t waste a penny of yours.

Unless ss are very involved and very concerned I doubt they have a leg to stand on re parental rights. Utterly bonkers!

Let them waste their money it's incredibly rare to get rights over children as a grandparent

yes, cafcass are involved because they’re alleging that we are abusing and neglecting our child (they saw here once at nursery where they were dropping off her cousin and claiming she was dirty — toddlers are constantly filthy at nursery cause they play outside all day)

In lights of their behaviour we don’t want them to have any access to her at all

yes i thought they would be already

If there is no evidence of you or ex being abusive this won't go anywhere.

Grandparents rights are for grandparents that are very involved, ie my parents did the school run and did dinner for DD (and me) everyday during primary school whilst I worked. If anything happened to me and I died and DD had to live with her dad I would hope that they would get access to her as they have been heavily involved since day 1. Your In laws don't sound like they had that level of involvement so aren't likely to get anything from court.

I'd be inclined to change nursery to be honest. Or if you don't want too, how much longer will she be going there?

Toddlers do get dirty when they play outside all day of course, but you said your ex PILs saw her when they were dropping off so she hadn't been playing outside all day had she?

They were quite heavily involved, unfortunately, as we couldn’t place healthy boundaries with them we needed to. There was a period when they were coming over every night insisting to bathe her etc. when my mom came to visit and I asked them not to come ONE night and they caused a huge fuss. They have a history of coercive/controlling behaviour.

I suspect these grandparents are very concerned and desperate

Ask nursery to write an account of how they feel your dc is coping with nursery and if they have any concerns.. Witness statement..
Make sure they know not to let dd go with these nutters....
Let them waste money. They certainly won't be given parenting rights... Ultimately their obvious negativity towards you and their own ds will be their downfall. Leave them to their ramblings.

We changed nurseries straight away and now she goes to a nursery they can’t access. Sorry, it actually must have been pick up time. I haven’t gotten to that incident yet in my chronology so didn’t think about the time they must’ve seen her. She always wears fresh clothes and has spares with her. They don’t always change them when they get dirty.

Read the original post, these people are abusers.

try not to worry. I can't see them getting any visitation rights. Do they work? Just wondering if they have too much time on their hands and this is why they are creating all this work for themselves.

because social services get involved when a grandparent reports a toddler as being filthy at nursery (although… filthy at drop off 🤨 ?)

Or perhaps, just perhaps, there’s a shed load more to this as to why SS became involved and remain involved

I would worry less about the grandparents Op

and more about Social Services being sufficiently involved to be involved and remain involved

Thank you. I’m terrified though. He is a civil servant and she’s never worked a day in her life. They’ve been stalking my partner. Also told my ex via his sister that they would call his work and tell them he’s an alcoholic and he’ll get fired. I have multiple messages from ex and his sister along the lines of mom is drunk, mom caused a huge fight, etc. but because I was so naive and trusted them for a long time they latched onto my child. I’m cursing myself now.

If I was you I'd get good legal advice from a solicitor specialising in family law, not try to explain how they brainwashed you into being heavily involved in DC's life.

I’m not worried about that because my daughter is a healthy, beautiful and happy kid and I’ve got nothing to hide, thank you

Start a paper trail now by reporting what you describe re Mother MH addiction issues to Police. Keeping a child in their home and withholding ability to leave or be with legal parent, sounds like imprisonment. I’d find a local female officer and record all this now. Consult a family lawyer, first appointment often free. I would definitely not allow your child to be in their home again and get this drawn up by a lawyer. Sorry but you can’t trust them, they could disappear. Trust your instincts and gather evidence you don’t know what they are saying about you and if your ex can corroborate your descriptions then even better.

Well hopefully SS will agree with you 🤷

But interesting they remain involved

You’re not being helpful, as the grandparents made allegations on their court form, cafcass are obliged to get involved, in this case it’s a phone call.

SS wouldn't just be involved because of dirty clothing.