In court for ABH because I snapped

[18Floral]

I had a mentally abusive partner for 4 years, paired with his teenage kids who hated me and his ex wife who detested me. Added to this I was already set up as the mad woman with his family(I was honest and told him of a previous mental breakdown).

I'm due in court on Thurs and cannot get legal aid, even though, this is becausec of them and their actions, I am now homeless, living in emergency accommodation. All I did was throw a plastic bin that hit him in the head. Immediately the police were called, as if it were all planned to get me out of the house (strangely a joint tenancy).

How do I go about proving their lies and malice, spite and vindictiveness for which I have no understanding where it came from?

His kids told everyone I was vile and horrible, when the worst I did was say no to them. These kids have no boundaries and their parents moddycoddle them.

I have given these kids a lot in terms of time, love and money, but nothing worked.

Advice please?
Thanks

Yes times have definitely changed.

How do I go about proving their lies and malice, spite and vindictiveness for which I have no understanding where it came from?

you don't prove their lies, they need to prove them

was your bin throwing the one action of violence or where there more actions of violence?

He had it coming.

Since he’s an abuser I assume resolving things with talking about things never worked. You reacted in a language he understands, and he didn’t like it.

Pathetic man going to the police about this given his behaviour.

Play the system, show remorse (even if not genuine) try to get some legal representation to express your side of things as you were provoked.

💐

In most cases ABH where there is no high culpability and low harm (taking the OPs case a face value alone), it would be very unlikely that a custodial sentence be imposed - esp with the current prison issues.

To turn up on the day and have your fingers crossed that the duty sol will see you is not a good plan of action. A better plan would be to make sure you are well-represented in advance.

@18Floral

I'm really worried that you are not going to seek the legal advice you really need today.

Can you confirm that you have called or are going to call a solicitor today?

https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/

Because for many women in abusive relationships it's not as cut and dried as that.

There’s some awful advice on here ! You really need a solicitor to put your case forward for you . Are you sure that you’re unable to get legal aid ?
If you don’t have the means to pay for a solicitor you should be able to see a duty solicitor in court Ring the court to ascertain if you qualify .

I’m not so certain, from the OP’s previous posts, that it’s a good idea to be advising anything other than to let her solicitor deal with it. It sounds like a thoroughly chaotic relationship with a history of the police being called by both OP and her ex and the step children OP claims are victimising her being scared of both of them. Throwing a bin seems to be one thing in a long line of events and probably why it’s resulted in an ABH charge.

There his no need to “cross your fingers”.

OP is entitled to see the duty solicitor as she is charged with an imprisonable offence. It’s very straightforward.

You are in court for ABH because you threw a bin at someone and it hurt them.I believe you when you say you were provoked but unfortunately unless you are in fear of your life you can't injure someone like that.
Plead guilty, say there were mitigating circumstances but take responsibility. Thats your best chance of getting the lightest sentence

@Hoppinggreen your advice is totally wrong. Please do not give legal advice when you do not understand what you are talking about.

Can you give some examples of this "trend" because I have never seen it

Exactly and I think it's ridiculous that posters are coaching op on what to say to courts to negate any responsibility for her behaviour and encouraging a 'look what you made me do' attitude.

You need proper advice based on your information. Book an appointment with CAB but you would have been offered information when arrested.

I would change your approach because blaming everyone else will get up the court's nose sorry. Your actions for whatever the previous history mean the other person is entitled to live safely in their home even if this leaves you homeless.

Agree. Apart from the fact that we have no way of knowing if the OP is the victim or the perpetrator of the abuse, nor do we have any way of knowing who else is reading the thread - and it’s not a good look to be giving advice to people who have been charged with domestic violence about phrases they need to use and specific things they must say to gain sympathy and avoid a conviction.

Lots of people snap

The husband whose wife has been nagging him all day

The mum whose child is behaving naughty

The dad who hasn't been able to sleep in months because their child keeps them awake at night

The neighbour who gets irritated with how their neighbour parks

Just because your a woman and it was against a man doesn't make it excusable or right

Back to say that I totally missed the fact that ABH is an inprisonable offence. @GiantHornets is correct , you automatically qualify for a duty solicitor at court. Leave the legal advice to the experts . They will advise you on your best plea & how to present your case

Yes. Plead guilty. Maybe write a letter to the court saying what happened leading up to the incident, why you acted as you did. Be remorseful.

I was on probation with a lady who had a suspended prison sentence for throwing stuff out of kitchen cupboards in her then BFs house. Not at him, but on the floor. Criminal damage.

Contact Rights of Women helpline who give legal advice. Domestic abuse is a reason not to be prosecuted. Please do not listen to all of these armchair lawyers who do not understand the law.

@OldTinHat she should not plead guilty.

THIS! It's as if people actually get some sort of bizarre kick out of the high drama of a toxic ''relationship''.

There has to be some ''payoff'' of no one would stay in such an unhealthy, toxic, violent mess.

Throwing ''A plastic'' bin at someone can be mean anything - after all wheelie bins are plastic- it sounds like the violence is being minimised.

A duty solicitor will be in court for you to use on the day.
the reasons you have described are not a defence. They are mitigating factors but not a defence.

I’m glad you mentioned this because based on the way Op spoke about them I was worried for the children’s welfare and wellbeing. If they’re minors,unlike OP, they can’t just leave this toxic environment that the adults are creating.

@Parkermumma07 you are wrong. Legally domestic violence is a defence.
Rights of Women run a free legal helpline for women like the OP.

Practical advice

• read everything that has been sent to you by the court/ police, there will be useful information there.
• look for information online about the precise offence you’ve been charged with and any defences- from a brief google it looks like self defence is a defence (ie did you think you were in physical danger when you threw it) but provocation is a mitigating factor.
• write a detailed statement about the incident trying to relate it to the defences- were you in danger? Had you been provoked? Do you agree with his statement? Leave out irrelevant history. Send the statement to the police and the court asap.
• Go to court and be prepared to put your side of the case. If possible see if you can get any help but be prepared to go it alone if necessary. The judge will listen to you and will try to be fair.
• then keep the fuck away from this family- stay away from the house and the kids.