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Original poster

Autistic meltdown in public - charged with a crime

152 replies

Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 19:34

Good evening

I'm after some advice. My child is newly diagnosed with autism spectrum condition and recently had a meltdown in public. In this melt down they have kicked me and bit me, and I've pushed them away twice (first time in response to the bite and second time to attempt to contain them from bolting.

I've now been charged with a crime, maltreatment of a child, got to go to court and make a plea despite a social worker assessment confirming where a warm and loving family. So concerned, and frankly worried as if this happens again in the public what do I do? Let them bolt? Let them physically hurt me?

I can't believe this is happening frankly. There was no marks on my child to indicate I've used force. I was attempting to protect them from bolting and my other 2 children who were with me at the time - one of whom is only 6 years old

OP posts:
SwordToFlamethrower · 27/04/2024 19:56

How old is the child in question? I'm so sorry this is happening to you, it is completely insane!

Surely you're allowed to protect yourself from harm

AppleCrumbCake · 27/04/2024 20:08

You need a care plan agreed with professionals so that you have agreed stratagies for future bolting or biting.

TankFlyBoss · 27/04/2024 20:13

God this is awful I am so sorry. My DC is autistic and has had huge meltdowns in public. People have stared, made comments and implied we are awful evil parents. I cannot imagine this happening and I am sorry for the stress this must have put you under. Did someone report you? Have you been charged?

WhamBamThankU · 27/04/2024 20:13

I'm so sorry OP, I'm shocked they've taken this further. You know you're a good mum, the best thing you can do is take any advice/training etc to either genuinely give you new techniques and coping strategies or to at least tick the box if you know them all. Flowers

ickymatter · 27/04/2024 20:16

What is the evidence? Was it on camera, were there many witnesses or just someone's perception?

Soontobe60 · 27/04/2024 20:19

Surely there must have been more to it than this - how did the police get involved?

DoreenonTill8 · 27/04/2024 20:20

Soontobe60 · 27/04/2024 20:19

Surely there must have been more to it than this - how did the police get involved?

This, who called them? They must have arrived so fast or did they turn up at home?

Jaminajar · 27/04/2024 20:20

Will
the social worker be able to give evidence at court ? That will help if so and can your solicitor get statements from any medical professionals involved? You may find that once it’s heard in court it will quickly be resolved given the facts but it’s awful you have to go through it

Original poster
Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:24

Yes someone reported us. Their football teacher. Someone filmed part of it with their phone, clearly the worse bit. Social services called me the following day, explained what happened which my child had already confirmed themselves to a police officer who went to their school. Child has just turned 11.

We've attended lots of courses on offer at the hospital where they were diagnosed. Football coach also knew that they had been diagnosed with ASC.

Interviewed under caution and subsequently charged by letter. Whole thing is a nightmare. Submitted the adios assessment, the final assessment, care plan, and the social worker report but the cps are proceeding with it. I'm so broken over it

OP posts:
Houseinawood · 27/04/2024 20:25

Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 19:34

Good evening

I'm after some advice. My child is newly diagnosed with autism spectrum condition and recently had a meltdown in public. In this melt down they have kicked me and bit me, and I've pushed them away twice (first time in response to the bite and second time to attempt to contain them from bolting.

I've now been charged with a crime, maltreatment of a child, got to go to court and make a plea despite a social worker assessment confirming where a warm and loving family. So concerned, and frankly worried as if this happens again in the public what do I do? Let them bolt? Let them physically hurt me?

I can't believe this is happening frankly. There was no marks on my child to indicate I've used force. I was attempting to protect them from bolting and my other 2 children who were with me at the time - one of whom is only 6 years old

Why did you push them away to stop them from bolting. You don’t need bruises. Where are the bite marks - did you take photos, GP report etc

The home might be loving - what evidence do they have? Where is your solicitor? Did the police charge you? Video evidence?

Houseinawood · 27/04/2024 20:28

Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:24

Yes someone reported us. Their football teacher. Someone filmed part of it with their phone, clearly the worse bit. Social services called me the following day, explained what happened which my child had already confirmed themselves to a police officer who went to their school. Child has just turned 11.

We've attended lots of courses on offer at the hospital where they were diagnosed. Football coach also knew that they had been diagnosed with ASC.

Interviewed under caution and subsequently charged by letter. Whole thing is a nightmare. Submitted the adios assessment, the final assessment, care plan, and the social worker report but the cps are proceeding with it. I'm so broken over it

Where is your solicitor? An autism child doesn’t mean that they are pushed or hurt etc it was filmed meaning video of it. The police obviously think you were over zealous. Where is your solicitor and evidence of your mental health etc

is the child is care?

Original poster
Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:28

'Why did you push them away to stop them from bolting. You don’t need bruises. Where are the bite marks - did you take photos, GP report etc

The home might be loving - what evidence do they have? Where is your solicitor? Did the police charge you? Video evidence?'

Sorry I've said someone filmed it. Pushed them away from biting me and pushed towards the fence to attempt to calm them down. Tried rationalising with them for nearly 20 minutes. Eventually they calmed down, and he returned to football. I thought being by the fence would ensure they were less likely to run - has a history of doing so mid meltdown and was nearly hit by a car on previous meltdown

OP posts:
AppleCrumbCake · 27/04/2024 20:31

you need to block rather then push. If blocking doesn’t work and the child is trying to seriously hurt you or himself or dangerously bolt into an oncoming car then use official techniques of restraint taught in care settings. These are restraint techniques that are utilised as a last resort, they are the least restrictive and for the least amount of time in order to safeguard in an emergency.

Original poster
Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:34

AppleCrumbCake · 27/04/2024 20:31

you need to block rather then push. If blocking doesn’t work and the child is trying to seriously hurt you or himself or dangerously bolt into an oncoming car then use official techniques of restraint taught in care settings. These are restraint techniques that are utilised as a last resort, they are the least restrictive and for the least amount of time in order to safeguard in an emergency.

It all happened so quick. I panicked and just did the first thing that came to me. Wasn't done maliciously just out of panic. This has been by far the worst meltdown we've experienced, I assume because they're unsettled at the moment over secondary school. We've had emotional outbursts but only 2 physical ones. Newly diagnosed and still struggling how to manage

OP posts:
hiredandsqueak · 27/04/2024 20:35

No real advice but as parent to an autistic child who used to bite it's better to push the part being bitten towards the teeth rather than pulling away or pushing the child as it does less damage and gets the child to release.

Reugny · 27/04/2024 20:38

OP for you to be arrested and charged there was clearly more than one witness who saw most of the incident. Likely if this was a children's game then other parents saw enough of the incident to back the coach up.

I know someone who was in a similar situation and the only "witness" was quickly found not to be truthful so they were dearrested at the scene. All the other witnesses said they didn't see anything to back the main "witness".

Basically you need to find out the evidence against you e.g. if there are at least two witnesses, talk to a solicitor and find out what is the best way for you to plea. (You probably will need to do some of your own research on what happens if you plea one way or the other.)

I actually found out from a magistrate some time ago that for some offences that seem very serious that you should plead guilty if it keeps it from going to a higher court.

chicken2015 · 27/04/2024 20:40

As parent of non verbal autistic child with significant learning disability who is 7 bites and is flight risk this is insane! 😯 wtf

Original poster
Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:42

Reugny · 27/04/2024 20:38

OP for you to be arrested and charged there was clearly more than one witness who saw most of the incident. Likely if this was a children's game then other parents saw enough of the incident to back the coach up.

I know someone who was in a similar situation and the only "witness" was quickly found not to be truthful so they were dearrested at the scene. All the other witnesses said they didn't see anything to back the main "witness".

Basically you need to find out the evidence against you e.g. if there are at least two witnesses, talk to a solicitor and find out what is the best way for you to plea. (You probably will need to do some of your own research on what happens if you plea one way or the other.)

I actually found out from a magistrate some time ago that for some offences that seem very serious that you should plead guilty if it keeps it from going to a higher court.

Edited

Yes, there was only one witness, whose statement has contradictions in compared to the referral they made as part of safeguarding. Solicitor said he's going to request this is reviewed by the cps.

We were honest and open with social services, who were clear that my child did not wish to make a complaint, as when they had calmed down the following day and was originally spoken to by the police was clear it was an accident. He said it hurt, but socks hurt hun, certain trainers hurt him etc. taken in context hurt can mean on a scale of 1-10 a 1 if that makes sense.

Solicitor said it's a 50/50 case which would depend solely on judge on the day. We've requested school and social worker to be called as whilst not witnessing the event can clearly comment on how I parent, how they are etc

OP posts:
PlainEvian655 · 27/04/2024 20:44

This sounds horrendous op. I am sorry you are going through this stress on top of everything else. As the parent of a child with ASD I truly sympathise. Why on earth did the football coach stand there filming if he knew about your son’s diagnosis? If he had time to do that, why didn’t he step in and help?

Original poster
Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:45

PlainEvian655 · 27/04/2024 20:44

This sounds horrendous op. I am sorry you are going through this stress on top of everything else. As the parent of a child with ASD I truly sympathise. Why on earth did the football coach stand there filming if he knew about your son’s diagnosis? If he had time to do that, why didn’t he step in and help?

Absolutely no idea. Suspicions why but none that I can confirm

OP posts:
StMarieforme · 27/04/2024 20:49

I truly think that we should be all turning up to support OP at court . A Go Fund Me for a top barrister. This should not go ignored. It is diabolical!

Reugny · 27/04/2024 20:51

Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:45

Absolutely no idea. Suspicions why but none that I can confirm

Show quote history

Your spidery senses are likely right.

The case isn't in the public interest.

Just be careful of social services as there are some poor and misguided social workers out there.

Original poster
Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:52

StMarieforme · 27/04/2024 20:49

I truly think that we should be all turning up to support OP at court . A Go Fund Me for a top barrister. This should not go ignored. It is diabolical!

Why I can't thank you enough for this offer it wouldn't be something I'd ask. I've just got to plod through. I've had a private Sen report done to support our child and me thru this nightmare. I just hope they drop it before it goes any further (I've obviously made a not guilty plea) or they realise that once they see everything and hear everything it looks worse than it actually was. That I've been struggling with their behaviour and trying everything in my power to make things right to help them manage. They can't beat me up any more than I have done myself

OP posts:
Original poster
Tirednorthern78 · 27/04/2024 20:55

Yes solicitor said he failed to see how this was in public interest.

The social worker was amazing to be honest - it was my first experience with social services. She was amazing, had an autistic family members and totally understood our family dynamics. Couldn't have asked for a more positive experience - shame I can't say the same for the police who clearly didn't have any understanding or sympathy with an asc child

OP posts:
JaniceBattersby · 27/04/2024 20:55

I spend most of my working life in court. I’d be extremely surprised if this gets anywhere near the inside of a court room and if it does, I think they’d struggle to get a conviction.

I hope you’re ok OP. It sounds like a real struggle. I think lots of us would have reacted the same way under intense pressure and out of fear for our other children.