DNA Test…. What are my rights…

[Hedgehog93]

So my ex partner kicked me out whilst I was four months pregnant. We were together 18 months had a gender reveal 4 days prior. His behaviour was abnormal and volatile. Never heard off him again. I blocked him and made it clear I want zero to do with him after he dumped all my stuff off without me even being allowed to pack my own stuff and like I said pregnant and sick at the time!
My son is now 15 weeks old. After much deliberation I applied for child maintenance. He’s obviously not on the birth certificate and we weren’t married. He instantly called them requesting a DNA test and as predicted went self employed in Feb and apparently hasn’t earnt a penny since. Even the guy at CSA said “this one’s a charmer!”
I told him to keep his dirty money and shove it as I’m not having my son swabbed and I do not want him to then have a DNA test to then possibly take me to court to go on the birth certificate as I don’t want him near my son and he has shown zero care or acted with any humanity. He kicked his son out as far as I’m concerned not just me. He is vile. So I will close the case with CSA as it’s just not worth the bother now he is self employed also. I don’t have the energy.
What I am now worrying is can he take me to court at a later date and can they force me to take a dna test? I’m hoping he won’t as he only cares about paying it seems. I do not want this man having any rights over my son and will do anything to avoid this. I also don’t have a spare 20k to battle him in court. Any advice much appreciated!!!

@Nightynightnight @heymammy thanks both for your replies this is more of what I was looking for and things I need to to consider. It’s so hard to think straight with a 3 month old baby when I’m sleep deprived 😂😂

She absolutely can get maintenance without him being on the BC

If he wants access eventually he will have to do a dna test.

If you want csa you will have to do a dna test.

@greyhairnomore exactiy I think people are missing that point. Also we weren’t married so funnily enough after he kicked me out and never contacted me I wasn’t going to ring him and say fancy coming to register the birth of the son you’ve never bothered with?! So he couldn’t go on BC. I think a lot of posters don’t know this.

Regardless of the CMS claim he could apply through the court for access. That might include a DNA test if you made it difficult for him.
Have you any evidence of his abuse? Police reports are the usual evidence. Or abusive messages off him.

Omg the eye rolls 😂

I explained in that very post you’ve quoted why I found it odd - because I spend far too much time on the relationship boards where you read the phrase ‘don’t put him on the birth certificate!’ incredibly often and this is one of the rare occasions I’ve seen so many people say the opposite. (And not only suggest it but almost demand it.) I was surprised so much of the advice went against what I usually read, I found it unexpected.

I wasn’t implying MN is one homogeneous lump of a being, which seems to have set your heckles up, I was just noting a common trend and how this was going against it. No drama or malice was intended.

@SBHon i know this is why I’m being called argumentative because when I originally posted back last year when I had got thrown out and detailed other abusive things he had done 90% of posted told me do not put him
on the birth certificate and make sure I claim maintenance! I was never in a million years going to put him on the BC because what it means but seems I have a different audience this time.

Sounds like she doesn’t actually. She wanted maintenance but then as soon as he demands a DNA test she backs down… sounds a bit dodgy. I’m in a similar situation where I’m trying to get CM from my ex & he’s fighting it because he’s a POS but he’s suddenly demanded a dna test & I can’t wait to do it so we have it in writing once & for all that he’s her dad. If this woman wants maintenance then she needs to do the test.

As much as your ex is clearly a POS you can’t demand he take parental responsibility for his child but at the same time deny him parental rights. Sorry but it doesn’t work like that. And yes I do know how you feel as I’m in virtually the same situation!

@Hedgehog93 please pm me :)

Actually plenty of men would rather duck and dive for 18 years than pay what they need to, go to court for “their rights” and step up for their child.

He may go to court to be controlling teat and get a bit of sympathy as the wronged man. It’s the risk the Op takes. However give it a few years when said child is old enough to actually expect parenting of the dad and they won’t be seen for dust so a worthwhile risk as long as you prepare for it.