DH’s will and my step kids

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I’ve been married to DH for 25 years. He’s my soul mate and he’s very unwell. I’m hoping he’ll pull through but we had a few frank conversations, got out our wills etc.

his will I’m an executor along side his three children (all early forties married with their own children). I thought it was all laid out quite straight forward who gets what etc. I get the house, his pension. The kids get his cash (Upto the point they don’t pay inheritance tax). The plan being that I pass on more to them in my will if I survive him.

I get along really well with his kids but a friend of mine thinks one DH DC is likely to cause a fuss when their dad goes. I am a bit shocked, but actually they’ve had moments in the past so has left me wondering.

the house is in his name. He lived here before me. Paid it off a few years ago. Told me he wouldn’t have been able to keep it if I hadn’t moved in when I did. So I’ve paid toward all the bills (not mortgage) etc ever since I’ve lived here 27 years.

can this one DC, or all three if they want to cause me to lose my home? Can they put a spanner in the works of what I thought was a straight forward legal document? I know I probably need to see a solicitor but can’t see how I can get away at the moment to do it.

Not that I know the answer but what country do you live in?

I do know that even within the UK, laws relating to wills are different.

Very sorry to hear about your husband and I really hope he pulls through.

Do you have your own children? Is there the potential for you to have a lifetime interest in the house and then it to go to his children? Is there a pot of cash you’re getting as well?

Also, I think it depends on the sums we’re talking here. If you’re inheriting a house worth £1m which in their view you haven’t paid towards, a sizeable cash sum and pension, then they’re likely to view that as unfair and potentially contest the will. Whether they win or not will depend on a number of factors but it certainly won’t be pleasant! I think it really depends if you have your own kids as well as they may be worried it will all be diverted to them.

As your DH has named them all in his will it is unlikely they can usefully contest it.

As a married couple of 25yrs and assuming your dh isn't rewriting his will at this time of poor health, I'm not sure they'd have much to contest.

I guess there is the issue of whether they think its fair that you get the house... but fairness doesn't come into it in England (there are inheritance rules in Scotland which would have a different opinion...).

Assuming he survives, I'd get some legal advice. Maybe he needs to transfer the house to joint ownership so there are no issues with that? Especially if you have enabled him financially to keep it.

Do you have any kids? What happens to your estate if you outlive him?

Just make sure DH's will is legally watertight; not DIY. Properly signed, witnessed, dated. Full names of all beneficiaries and a mention of their relationship and the exact gift, to avoid all confusion " To my son James Kenneth Smith I leave all my golf clubs"

Frankly I wouldn't want four executors (a bit like four people driving the same car)

We are in UK. I have a DD, she’s not named in his will.
the plan is on my death I leave everything he left me to his kids and my own wealth to my DD.

I suspect the step children will be very concerned that you’ll go on to leave all their father’s money to your own child unfortunately. Again, I think it depends on the sums we’re talking, if it’s a small house and a modest pension they’re obviously being unreasonable and unlikely to get anywhere, but if it’s larger sums it could get more messy.

We are in UK.

Yes, but WHERE? Inheritance law is very different between England and Scotland at the very least. Why does almost nobody on MN who comes here with legal-related issues (not only wills, always with rental issues) ever bother to specify which nation and therefore legal system they're in?

Sorry England. Life’s a bit full on stressful at the moment. Can’t leave DH at all at the moment so don’t suppose I can go visit a solicitor even if I wanted to.

the will is eight years old, made with a good solid solicitor that’s still in town, everyone is properly named. If push came to shove I’d just let them have the lot, but they’d lose a lot too. These are kids I took on as my own, love them, just as much as my own. I’d lose the home me and DH crafted together as it was changed a lot in the past to be the home we wanted it to be. I have my own money but not enough to buy them out.

It is possible that a solicitor from the town practice may be able to visit you.

IANAL, but it doesn’t sound like there would be grounds to contest it. The kids all get something, they aren’t dependent on him, you have been married 25 years.

I'm sorry that you're facing this worry at this time.

Since you're in England and they're getting the IHT limit in cash (so over 100K each?) then I can't see that they'd have any case to challenge the will if it was validly drawn up at a time when DH was manifestly competent to make his own decisions. Leaving you the house and pension seems entirely reasonable under the circumstances. I can understand why they might be sceptical whether you actually would leave them any money in your own will, but that doesn't mean that they'd have scope to change his.

But you’ve been married for 25 years?! A lot of ‘his’ wealth is now ‘joint wealth.’ You’d essentially be cutting your DD out of some legitimate inheritance.

Is your dh aware of your concerns?

If so, it's more straightforward - he just gets a solicitor in to check his will, making it clear that he wants it water tight that the house etc goes to you.

He could also sit his kids down & explain that this is the plan.

Trickier obviously if he would be horrified at the slightest suggestion that one/all of his dc might challenge things!

Some sort of life interest for you might be better, so the house 'sees you out' & then goes to his dc ie you can't will it elsewhere. But then what if you needed to fund your care when older?

I would suggest you need to ask a solicitor to come to you/do a zoom appointment if dh is too ill to be left. You definitely need proper advice.

I would delicately suggest to your DH that having 4 executors is unnecessary and a possible cause of friction. He'd be better to name you as executor and then name the kids (in order) as back ups.

His will should then do I've of two things: Optum 1: say nothing at all about expectations that you'll pass the house or any part of its value in to his kids when you die and accept that he's leaving this entirely to your discretion or Option 2: leave you an "interest in possession" in the house and then stipulate what happens to it if you die or sell it. This option is more complex and also means the value of the house falls within inheritance tax (as he's technically leaving it to the kids, not you, just with a long delay on them getting it), but does give the kids more certainly that they'll get the house value eventually. What you don't want to do is anything ambiguous between these two options. Both are fine and legal - he can leave his money wherever he wants, but best to be clear with everyone what he's doing so there's no room for conflict.

Also consider what will happen if you need care. Would his children rather be sure about getting the house (and pay inheritance tax on it) or potentially lose it to the council?

I'm sorry you're having to worry about this. Unfortunately the conversations need to be had but often people are reasonable, you just have to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Bottom line is, in England it’s very unlikely they could successfully contest the will. They could challenge it in court (anyone can bring a claim about anything) and they could attempt to bully you into a settlement, but it’s extremely unlikely they’d win outright.

If a lot of money is involved it could be a good idea to redo the will to eg give you a life interest and then pass the house to them, but I appreciate that this may not be how you want to spend your remaining time with him.

I cannot see any judge in England overturning a will that leaves a husband’s house to his wife of 27 years. Especially not to benefit ‘children’ who are all in their forties and have been left plenty of money already. A judge just wouldn’t do that.

This is wild. He's happy to leave you the house and pension; leave his kids cash then hope on your death you divvy up the remaining wealth between his kids and your kid gets your share. And all this was fine with you when he wrote the will in which your daughter wasn't included despite you being his partner for nearly 3 decades and loving his own kids?

I can see why everyone's nerves might be fraying at this.

When my dad died his 1/2 of the house went to me and my sister don’t really know the ins and outs
but nothing can happen till my mum dies she lives there has the power to sell now but then me and my sister would get our 1/2 we have our name on house but it’s all protected for my mum we can’t do anything

TBH I don't think any of your step children will be totally happy about the house situation. Was it their family home? Did their mother contribute to it's purchase? I'm just trying to see it from their point of view.
Please don't take this the wrong way but there have been many posts on MN about children of the first marriage being in effect disinherited by a second wife.
As pp has said, if you eventually need care then the house could end up being sold to pay your care costs, something your step children may also be unhappy about. As has also been said already, you having the right to live in the house for the rest of your life, and the house then going to the stepchildren, may be the way to go.
Would you actually want to carry on living in the house if your husband dies? Would leaving it to be sold and the proceeds split in some way be worth considering?
As for a challenge to the Will, the Family Inheritance Act says only that a person must make 'reasonable provision' for their children. The Courts then have free rein to decide what 'reasonable provision' means.

In England people can't contest a Will because they don't like it or they think it's unfair. His kids would have to show undue influence (unlikely if watertight) or that they were financially dependent on him and are reliant on his future support. That's very difficult to show as an average mid-40 year old. Contesting a Will is expensive.

If push came to shove, I'd just let them have the lot

You are in a very stressful situation and, quite rightly, not focused on money at the moment. But, for the love of god, do not make any decision along those lines, if the worst happens with your DH.

You are his wife of 25 years and you have contributed hugely to the house, by the sound of it. It is your house, once your DH is no longer with us. Please do not condemn yourself to an older age of poverty, by caving into his grabby kids. As you have put your own money into the house, you would also be short-changing your own DD.

Don't make any decisions about compromises without independent legal and financial advice.

Look at it from their perspective. Nothing is stopping you from disinheriting them and leaving everything to your daughter. Obviously they're going to be concerned and upset.

@Myneighbourskia the kids are getting cash, it’s common for pension and house to go to spouse on first death. And the house and OP’s money may end up sold for care and OP’s DD would then get nothing.

As I’ve said previously though, it depends on the sums we’re talking. If the house is worth £1m plus an extra few hundred k cash and the kids are getting £325k between them I can see why they’d be pissed off given the OP states he owned the house before she came along and she’s never contributed to the mortgage. Of course she shouldn’t lose her home or anything but I can see why it could cause resentment!