My parents will leave the house to my brother and I. What happens if he doesn't move out?

[thevenerablebede]

I'm thinking ahead to the future here, but would like some advice, in case this has happened to anyone else and to allow me to anticipate what might happen.

I now live in England, but my brother still lives with my parents in Scotland. He has been diagnosed with depression and is now nearing 30. I am around the same age. He has never had a job and has long since lost contact with all of his friends. Attempts to attend counselling sessions have not helped things, neither have any drugs prescribed by GPs.

I've never suffered from depression myself, at least not clinically, so I'm aware that I cannot fully place myself in my brother's shoes. However, as well as been withdrawn, my brother is also a very stubborn person, very set in his ways, and we do not have a close relationship. The current situation has now persisted for ten years and I do not presently see much sign of it changing. It seems to me that the longer it continues, the harder it will be for my brother to get out of this rut.

In view of the above, it occurs to me that my brother may NEVER recover and so will remain in my parent's house, following their death. I am aware that this is potentially a long time in the future, but it crosses my mind that he may 'refuse' to move out, citing their condition, perhaps. I know that my parents have left the house to both of us. However, in my opinion, that stipulation alone will be insufficient if the current situation persists, as I fear it might.

@Thehouseofmarvels I agree. One of DH’s siblings has some problems -she doesn’t live with her parents, but they provide a lot of support. When her parents die, we’re simply not going to be able to provide the support they do. It’s not that DH doesn’t love her, it’s simply not possible, because we have our own children and we don’t live close by. If she agrees to move closer to one of her siblings (she has three), we can do more. But sometimes people are stubborn and refuse to be logical. 🤷

And we already know that she’s getting a larger portion of their estate and fully accept

@missingnashville We have discussed refusing our portion but ultimately even if we do the brother cannot fund a four bedroom house. He lives on the edge of London and a lot of things are more expensive than where I am up north. We might not have to pay for the house legally if we refused it but he would certainly get into difficulties as he refuses even to claim benefits. Therefore my partner would have to fund him and try to get the other sibling to contribute or let him get into a terrible state. Not paying for him and letting him struggle would cause my partner feelings of constant guilt and undo the good work his therapy is doing. In addition, we would like to put money into savings accounts for any children we have so they don't have to struggle so badly for mortgage deposits, therefore handing him the inheritance would be giving him money we could save for our kids.

Definitely better to just say you don’t want the inheritance by the sounds of things. The mum can set her son up in somewhere he can manage and leave funds with the other sibling for him. It sounds like your husband wouldn’t cope with the stress otherwise as he’s already had to remove himself from the family. No need for your partner to feel any guilt then as his brother is looked after.

In some countries it is a right. My son will inherit the bulk of my husband’s estate (EU national in EU country). It’s Napoleonic law and he cannot disinherit my son or choose to leave it to ano. With inherited property comes financial burdens and responsibilities eg taxes and maintenance. So it’s only right and proper to take those into account. I believe that Scotland has a similar system and children cannot legally be disinherited.

Given that OP will, as a potential co-owner of the property, have financial responsibility for the upkeep and taxes of said house, it’s only sensible to have discussions now to ensure that there is suitable funding in place to cover said upkeep should her brother be disinclined to pay.

Years ago, I co owned a flat with a ‘friend’. Who went on a gap year and refused to pay her half of the mortgage. I had to cover everything. This could happen to OP should her brother be unable or unwilling to pay, and she won’t even live in the house.