My parents will leave the house to my brother and I. What happens if he doesn't move out?

[thevenerablebede]

I'm thinking ahead to the future here, but would like some advice, in case this has happened to anyone else and to allow me to anticipate what might happen.

I now live in England, but my brother still lives with my parents in Scotland. He has been diagnosed with depression and is now nearing 30. I am around the same age. He has never had a job and has long since lost contact with all of his friends. Attempts to attend counselling sessions have not helped things, neither have any drugs prescribed by GPs.

I've never suffered from depression myself, at least not clinically, so I'm aware that I cannot fully place myself in my brother's shoes. However, as well as been withdrawn, my brother is also a very stubborn person, very set in his ways, and we do not have a close relationship. The current situation has now persisted for ten years and I do not presently see much sign of it changing. It seems to me that the longer it continues, the harder it will be for my brother to get out of this rut.

In view of the above, it occurs to me that my brother may NEVER recover and so will remain in my parent's house, following their death. I am aware that this is potentially a long time in the future, but it crosses my mind that he may 'refuse' to move out, citing their condition, perhaps. I know that my parents have left the house to both of us. However, in my opinion, that stipulation alone will be insufficient if the current situation persists, as I fear it might.

Certainly best to think of it sooner rather than later, agreed.

I’m in pretty much the same situation OP, my sister has never worked, still lives with my dad in the family home (my mum died a few years ago).

My dad has stipulated in his will that when he does everything is to be sold and split between me & my sister, and he’s spoken openly to both of us about it.

There’s no way she’d be able to afford or maintain the house on her own anyway, but dads decided that’s what he wants to do and it’s his house so it’s his decision.

OP I suggest you ask your parents if they have arranged wills and if not get them to make arrangements, I know it’s not an easy subject to talk about, and it’s very emotive but much better to discuss this now.

It’s not simply a case of living in/owning a house though.

If he’s not working & is suffering from long term depression how would he maintain the house?

Could he cover the bills etc? The practicalities do need to be worked out.

I've known a fair number of people with depression in my time, thank you. While I'm sure it's unpleasant and a great hindrance, ultimately it's not doing him any good, and, as such, there's a need to get to the bottom of this.

Re. your second point, I also lived at my parent's house for my first eighteen years. At no point did I think of it as 'my' house. Indeed, as soon as I left, my parents were keen to make sure that ALL of my belongings left with me asap.

He won't be eligible for housing benefit on an owned house. The most he might get is support for mortgage interest.

It's not as simple as you make it sound. If someone refuses to move you have to apply to the courts. If there are minors living there (and potentially disabled people which he may be able to claim) it's even harder and can be very expensive. Can be a nightmare

Interesting. My parents have done the same, as I understand. Leaving us both 50% is obviously the fair thing to do, but how that works out in practice, in more complicated situations, can be difficult, if the will isn't precise in its wording.

If I knew my adult child was planning how to get their hands on our house when we died, they’d get fuck all, I’d leave ‘their share’ to the dogs home or to their sibling.

Are your parents in good health? If they were to need care your brother as an adult wouldn't be treated as a dependant so if the house needed to be sold to fund care he would be evicted.

Okay, thanks for that. No need for mortgage support, that's been paid off.

Yep, my dads been really clear that it states in his will everything is sold then split 50/50 so it must be enforceable and something that can be requested precisely in a will if that’s what they want to do.

Not sure if there’s any timeline attached to that.

Would his 50% share be enough to buy himself a property outright then?

My Mum was in this situation.

My Gran and my aunt (Mum's sister) shared a house - it was divided into 2 self-contained units.
My Gran specified in her will that on her death my Mum had to have her share, either through the sale of the house, or my aunt buying her out.

When my Gran died, My aunt grudgingly agreed to sell, but then proceeded to make the house unsellable, filled it with junk, wouldn't engage with estate agents, and then when offers came she turned them down.

My Mum and my aunt never got on anyway, and my Mum got sick of having to deal with all the aggro. In the end, after a very heated discussion, she settled for a buy out which was LOADS less than her share should have been. She just wanted to walk away.

It was all quite horrible really, but I can't see an easy way of resolving an inheritance situation in which an adult sibling still lives in the family home.

Erm, except I didn't say that, though, did I? I only expect half of it, as I'm legally guaranteed anyway, given my parent's will, barring any care home costs, etc.

Why is that apparently selfish but my brother potentially continuing to reside in my parent's house not? Especially when they won't be in a position to potentially pay rent, let alone buy me out?

This discussion needs to be had, whether it's difficult or not. Would you like this to happen to you? Or do you just enjoy engaging in emotional blackmail with no real rationality whatsoever attached to it?

I'm not sure I'd want a very restrictive timeline for the sale of a property but would want a longstop deadline of 12 months or so. There are times of the year when the property market isn't terribly active and I wouldn't want to try and sell a house then if it could be avoided.

Yes, both are in good health now. However, this may well be an issue further down the line and indeed may change the dynamic of this discussion somewhat too.

I should add that although the house was in 2 self contained units, my Gran had paid for half of the whole building, so it wasn't just a case of selling her part of it to a third party. The whole house was the asset that needed to be split.

Show your parents the thread you started and see what they think.

They might see him as vulnerable and leave it to him rather than split between you, they've got time to change their wills

Also I dont know if this is the same in Scotland but I thought that if he did remain and it was part owned by OP, then she is strictly speaking a 'landlord' on the part he is renting from her and that requires responsiblities on her part which is a hassle. I wouldnt want that.

It’s not about anyone getting their hands on anything, but it’s important that wills are made in these situations for everyone’s benefit.

If my dads will says it to all goes to Cats protection that’s fine by me, but that’s easier to sort if it’s set out properly.

Otherwise it’s just stress and complications for family to figure out.

I had something similar. My older brother was living in my parents 'holiday home' and had been for many years, paying peppercorn rent. He talked about it as his house/home and had filled it will all his stuff.
He was 50, single and had a very fluctuating self-employed income (and I considered him to be rather work-shy, but that's another issue). He also said that he'd been told that when my parents died he'd be left that house.

It didn't turn out like that! When my Dad died (9 years after my mum) my brother was left a share of the inheritance, but it was less than the value of the house he was living in. He kicked up a real stink and threatened to challenge the will (he had no grounds...) and accused me of influencing my Dad's will (I didn't, and it had been written many years previously).

I didn't see why I should give him any of my share of the inheritance (my share was the same as his) - not least because I had single-handedly cared for our father in later life. In the end I 'loaned' him the difference between his inheritance and the value of the property and a 'charge' was put on the property which means if he ever sells it he will need to pay me back (or we agree some other arrangement).

It was all very painful, and I lost access to about 20% of my inheritance, but I figured it was better than trying to evict him and likely become estranged from him.

A small flat at least, yes.

A family friend is going through this very horror story at the moment. Their sibling moved in during their mother's last few years of life, ostensibly to care for them yet sadly doing anything but. It later appeared that the mother was financially supporting them. The mother died 3 years ago, the sibling is refusing to leave the property even though it was left to both of them and the court process is a nightmare. The sibling that won't budge is using MH issues as reason to stay, and the courts appear to be coming down on their side even though they can't afford the bills to stay there. It's completely destroyed a previously close relationship as the sibling feels that they are "owed" the opportunity to live the rest of their live in their mothers house.............

You're very wise to consider this OP before anything happens to either parent.

Ironically, it would make life easier if the property was just left to a dog's home, so I'm not really sure what this person's point is.

It's this coyness and reluctance to talk about death and inheritance etc that causes so many problems. If everyone was open about what they expected and hoped for, it would be a lot easier to sort out when the time came. It's the surprises and lack of planning that cause problems. There's nothing avaricious about talking about the death of parents. In the natural order of things, we should all outlive our parents.