My parents will leave the house to my brother and I. What happens if he doesn't move out?

[thevenerablebede]

I'm thinking ahead to the future here, but would like some advice, in case this has happened to anyone else and to allow me to anticipate what might happen.

I now live in England, but my brother still lives with my parents in Scotland. He has been diagnosed with depression and is now nearing 30. I am around the same age. He has never had a job and has long since lost contact with all of his friends. Attempts to attend counselling sessions have not helped things, neither have any drugs prescribed by GPs.

I've never suffered from depression myself, at least not clinically, so I'm aware that I cannot fully place myself in my brother's shoes. However, as well as been withdrawn, my brother is also a very stubborn person, very set in his ways, and we do not have a close relationship. The current situation has now persisted for ten years and I do not presently see much sign of it changing. It seems to me that the longer it continues, the harder it will be for my brother to get out of this rut.

In view of the above, it occurs to me that my brother may NEVER recover and so will remain in my parent's house, following their death. I am aware that this is potentially a long time in the future, but it crosses my mind that he may 'refuse' to move out, citing their condition, perhaps. I know that my parents have left the house to both of us. However, in my opinion, that stipulation alone will be insufficient if the current situation persists, as I fear it might.

Q3 covers this issue so it must be a common one! Maybe your parents could add something in their Will?

www.homesellingexpert.co.uk/guides/inheriting-a-house-with-siblings

I’m sorry if I come across as unfair or unkind but could you just live a life whereby you’re kind of ok with him living in/owning the house? It just sounds like you’ll be inheriting a battle rather than an asset. And he sounds very fragile.
I’m in a similar boat.
But I’m 50 now and more financially sound than I was at 30. I don’t need my parents’ sole asset but my brother, who lives there, does. Dad passed a few years ago. So mum’s leaving the house to my brother- but this was my request because he’s more in need. It came from me, so I don’t feel at all awkward about it.
My example may be fundamentally wrong for you. I may be presenting a terrible idea to you! I’m at a different stage in my life with different needs- I don’t need the inheritance. This may be your case too down the road. Hopefully it will be many years before you have to face your own situation with the inheritance.

I’m in the same position. It’s my brother’s home as well as my parents so I don’t feel that I could do anything unless he was comfortable with it.
It also may be sold to pay for care needs.
I just want them all to be happy before anything else.

You should (both) sell the house and he can use his share to buy a one-bedroom flat - or another suitable property he can afford.

I doubt he needs the worry of maintaining a family sized house and garden.

It would depend on what you wanted to do at the time. What you want now might be different in twenty years

Sell and split the proceeds and he buys elsewhere
He stays but pays you rent on your share
He stays but buys your share off you

If he refuses to do any of the above then you will have to go to court to force a sale/eviction

Its not easy. Is it worth a quiet discussion with your parents even if its phrased as how you are worried on how he will cope without them/their support?

This might be the most practical solution, as you'd be jointly responsible for maintaining your family home and he may not be able to help keep it in good order if he's unwell. Plus, the bills and council tax on a family-sized home, etc.

I'm sorry but I don't understand all these comments infantilising your brother. I have a very serious mental illness and I've worked full time for 21 years. Depression won't stop him being able to run his own affairs. Say nothing about letting him live there so no false expectations are set up. When they do die, give him a generous time to move out e.g. 6 months, and help him to move if you want. Just sell the house and 50/50. Why should you give up that money? I think you'd be bonkers to give up half a house - just my two cents.

So many 'bleeding hearts' on here! Good lord, he's a grown man, still living at home with his parents...this does not mean that the OP should lose out on her inheritance!

Of course she should not just roll over and let him stay there 'just because' he has depression! He needs to get treatment and use the equitable and fair share of his inheritance to buy himself a flat...or rent himself somewhere to live. Exactly the same as MANY others living with depression do!

FML the rubbish spouted on here sometimes!! 🤦‍♀️ It wouldn't matter if the OP didn't even need the money...her brother actually should be being encouraged to find some way of living his life independently now, at 30!

My uncle was your brother in our situation. My nan stipulated in her will that he could live in the house for a year after she died and then it would be sold and the proceeds split. He ended up marrying someone just before she died and they bought my aunts out, but it was still a battle despite the will. He still lives in his same room with his wife and the house is exactly the same 4 years later.

how old are your parents? Many things could change between now and the end of their lives. Unless you are prepared to provide all their end of life care there are likely to be significant cost implications and I actually wouldn’t presume any inheritance for either of you based on this.

He's well within his right to remain in the house, but he'd be legally obliged to buy you out of your share.

Simply not true. However, OP could charge him rent for using her share of the property and may be able to get the courts to force a sale.

Rather than fretting about it from afar start tackling it sensibly now. When your parents pass will not be the time to uproot your brother out of his home. Introduce the idea now while things are calm so it just becomes the ‘how things will be’ and it becomes engrained. He will be much more able to handle it when the time comes if he expects it. Involve your parents if necessary. It might be they even have to put on a legal condition to be enforced rather than you being cast as the evil sister chucking brother out. It could be the thought of packing up and moving is just too much for him. If possible make it clear you will help with this task. It’s an overwhelming task to most but especially someone with depression who’s also grieving. Start selling the more manageable smaller property option now.

You could force a sale through courts yes.
I'd be planting seeds about him buying a small 1 bed flat, as he'll unlikely be able to run a whole house with no income.

I've no idea whether I'll be financially secure at 50 or not, I'm certainly not at the moment.

Regardless of whether I am or not, it's the principle that's relevant, surely.

I've no idea whether I'll be financially secure at 50 or not, I'm certainly not at the moment.

Regardless of whether I am or not, it's the principle that's relevant, surely.

That would be the most sensible option, but people don't always think rationally, do they? He could potentially be eligible for housing benefit, DLA, etc and keep living there on that basis.

I agree. I personally don't see how being depressed entitles you to (potentially) behave this way, but it does appear to be my brother's perception.

If upon the death of your parents he was still on benefits, then you could still sell the house and him buy a smaller one. This would not impact his benefits. In fact he may well be better off as he wouldn’t be running a bigger house on his benefits. The heating bills alone would be much more manageable.

I do suspect that his unwillingness to move out and get on with life is down to habit, ease of life etc as much as it is depression. For example, how do single mothers in tower blocks, who may be suffering the most horrendous depression etc etc, cope in such circumstances? Neglect everything and plead 'depression' when everything falls apart? I don't think so.

Very much taboo to put that on the table among certain family members, of course.

Yes. Partly why I've started thinking about this now. Going to discuss it soon with my parents, as a previous contributor suggested.

I agree that this isn't true. Besides, even if it was, my brother is hardly going to (at the moment) be in the financial position to make it enforceable!

Rent would be a possible avenue.

You need to discuss this with your parents now, when they have time to amend a will. Maybe a joint appointment with a solicitor.

Anything could happen in the intervening years which means that you could rely on an inheritance as much as your brother.

The current situation has now persisted for ten years and I do not presently see much sign of it changing. It seems to me that the longer it continues, the harder it will be for my brother to get out of this rut.

I've never heard clinical depression (which you implied) described as a "rut" before.

In view of the above, it occurs to me that my brother may NEVER recover and so will remain in my parent's house, following their death

It's interesting to me that you frame it as your parent's house rather than what it also is, which is HIS home of many years. The lack of sympathy for that single point is rather unfortunate

There's a number of different considerations. If you and your brother are left the house you could make an application to the Sheriff Court for an order to sell the house which he could oppose. It would probably be granted in your favour but may take a contested hearing which could be expensive if solicitors are instructed.

There may however be other considerations. What would your parents want to happen to your brother after they die? Would they want him to remain in the house or for it to be sold and the proceeds split? If they want the house to be sold then it may be an option for them to stipulate in their wills that the house was to be sold within a specified period of time after death. Otherwise, it sounds as though it is likely he will stay in the house and refuse to move unless he is forced to do so. Once concern I would have about this is that if he doesn't pay the bills associated with the property then you may be chased for them as a co-owner - eg Council Tax.

It really would be good if your parents could think about this now and take legal advice to avoid potential problems in the future.