My exh hit my 7yo dd earlier this evening. Wwyd?

[Dalalalada]

Exh is abusive. He has 50 50 shared care, court ordered.

He hit dd so hard he left a very harsh mark.

I have called 101, who told me that he has legally chasized his child. I have reported to children's services who will get back to me tomorrow.

I have a picture of the mark he has left on the inside of her.thigh / knee area which i will share but dont know how to, if anyone can tell me.

What do i do? Refuse contact? Return to court? Any advice welcomed.

@OwlPumpingIron

Your comments are so disrespectful to a qualified A&E Dr with safeguarding in mind. I think that I would rather take the advice of an intelligent highly qualified person than a random judgemental individual. And since when do injuries to A&E have to be accidental?

OP, just to say well done for taking the necessary steps to protect your daughter.

Ask in Legal OP. There are some very helpful lawyers there.

I was a CP SW and also think going to A&E may be wise. The doctors there will have to report it as a possible assault and it may be fast tracked given that bruises fade and the police will need a forensic examination and photos taken.

A&E will possibly trigger an automatic referral to social services and also provide a paper trail for court.

@Dalalalada

Thank you so much for your support everyone and taking the time to write such wise words. I called again and quoted the law and the call was recorded as a report of assault. I am waiting for a call back today. I will speak again to ss today. Does anyone have any advice about how to put in an emergency application to the courts to change child arrangement orders?

You need to apply for an urgent prohibited steps order. Theres a box on the form to tick if you think the child will be at risk of harm which will get it heard quickly.

@OwlPumpingIron

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The mark need documenting. A qualified Dr needs to see it to make a professional judgement on the severity and likely cause. It needs to be done as quickly as possible after the mark appears. It's evidence.

@OwlPumpingIron

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I’d like to know what qualifies you to make this judgement.

How do you know the child has no other injuries that are not visible to the eye. Her father is an abuser.

@OwlPumpingIron

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Yes, and this counts as an emergency. If she is not seem not and waits until after BH weekend the bruise may have faded and OP can’t get the immediate support to safeguard her.

@OwlPumpingIron I'm not the only person recommending A+E, there are also professionals working in safeguarding and the police who have recommended this approach so I'm uncertain why I've become the sole focus of your anger.

Yes we could all be making up our credentials and there is no way of checking, but the advice is bang on.

FYI child protection IS an emergency. So next time you go off on a rant you can make sure you have your facts straight.

OP trust your instincts to keep your daughter safe and make sure everything is formally documented which will help with this moving forwards.

Definitely report to police or whoever else you can.

My DB and I were hit by my stepdad when younger as it was common then. That was scary enough but one time he lost it and smacked my DB really hard, luckily no bruises as far as I know but your DD shouldn’t have to be hit or be scared of it happening,

101 totally wrong. Assault, not chastisement which is verbal.
Call 101 again and say you want officers to attend you are reporting an assault on your daughter.
Then back to court for supervised access only.

What about NSPCC or Childline for advice?

owl I think you need to quit while you’re behind ….

To leave a mark is beyond reasonable chastisement. To leave a mark there is very concerning.
You’ve done the right thing questioning 101’s dismissal and taking it further. Until you can get hold of your solicitor, don’t let him in. If he shows up, call the police and quote your previous reference number, and don’t let him in. He’s a known abuser.

@OwlPumpingIron

I'm a GP and agree with @CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson that this child needs to go to A&E where they can carry out a full safeguarding examination of this child. Safeguarding is an emergency.

Mumsnet needs the like button at times.

As a teacher, I have to keep up to date with safeguarding training. Parents should not be hitting children.

The thing that concerns me is the location of the bruising as it raises massive red flags. If it wasn't NYD, a GP or walk in centre would be the best place to start. However, given the urgency of the situation and the need to safeguard the child, I think A&E is the correct call.

Like @CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson, you can't verify my credentials and have only my word about my profession. However, when a number of posters who work routinely with vulnerable people give the same advice and use similar terminology, there should be a clue there.

OP, I wish you well and hope that you and your DD can take the next steps. To posters resorting to scoffing and name-calling, please desist. Your comments are at best unhelpful and at worst could inflame a difficult and potentially dangerous situation.

OP once you've sorted out the most important things today, got your DD seen by a professional and spoken to the police, also inform your Dds school label the email FAO Safeguarding lead to make sure its forwarded to the correct person, email the head directly or check the school website for a safeguarding report form. The school can then keep an extra ear out for anything Dd says that might have been previously dismissed and also may be able to get her some support.

Good luck and I hope Dd is OK. It's so important that she sees you stand up for her, see that the behaviour is unacceptable and that you believe her.

To the posters that said A&E is not the place to take your DD I despair, I really do. The Ops DD has a bruise on the inside of her thigh from her father hitting her. Where the fuck do you think the Op should take her as you can’t get a Dr’a appointment for live nor money. Please fuck off if you can’t be more helpful.

@OwlPumpingIron

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The OP has already contacted the police, and as for seeing a GP on New Year's Day? Don't make me laugh.

Someone assaulting and hurting a child is an emergency. The dc may have other injuries which need to be found and treated asap, and the bruise needs to be seen by a medical professional as soon as possible so it can be officially recorded while the injury is still visible.

If nothing else A&E is a single point of access to emergency medical and safeguarding help

The LO's are right OP take your daughter there

I am so Sorry your child (and you) is going through this OP.
You have some excellent advice on this thread and I hope you get the help you need from services m.