My exh hit my 7yo dd earlier this evening. Wwyd?

[Dalalalada]

Exh is abusive. He has 50 50 shared care, court ordered.

He hit dd so hard he left a very harsh mark.

I have called 101, who told me that he has legally chasized his child. I have reported to children's services who will get back to me tomorrow.

I have a picture of the mark he has left on the inside of her.thigh / knee area which i will share but dont know how to, if anyone can tell me.

What do i do? Refuse contact? Return to court? Any advice welcomed.

101 are wrong, I think. “Reasonable chastisement” doesn’t include leaving a mark.

I would be so angry and upset, I'm so sorry this happened! I think you've done right thing reporting and hope you get some guidance from childrens services. Sorry can't be of any real use just to say what a shitty situation and hope you're ok!

Agree. 101 are wrong. Leaving a mark isn’t ok. You have done the right thing informing Social Services. So sorry you and your DC are going through this. Good luck.

I thought it was illegal to hit a child hard enough to leave a mark

There is no justification for inflicting pain on a child or young person as a parent (or any other adult carer). Any form of physical punishment that leaves a mark on a child or young person is considered an assault and is illegal under the Section 58 of the Children Act 2004.

Hope you and little on ok. I think ss May advice you to apply to family courts urgently with a view to stopping contact and varying the cao. Call police again with the above info he has broken the law.

I would call 101 again tomorrow
If you are told the same thing make sure to get the details of the person answering the call as they are incorrect unless the law has changed recently.

You're doing everything right, I'm so sorry you're going through this x

How is your dd?
Sorry to hear that she and you are going through this

101 are wrong, I’d phone again and ask to speak to a senior officer.

An individual can physically chastise a child in England however cannot any physical mark as per section 58 of the children’s act.

And if you are in Scotland hitting a child is illegal, mark or not.

Speak to SS and withhold contact - you are safeguarding your dc.

You should definitely stop contact. Nothing, not even a court order is more important that your child's safety. Cafcass know that. I stopped contact after ex broke court order rules not to drink alcohol. He tried saying I broke the court order, which yes I technically did, but I spoke to cafcass and 2 solicitors who said I made the right choice as my children's safety was more important. I'm do sorry you and your daughter are going through this.

Thank you so much. I will call again now.

On hold to police now.

Hoping to get through to a senior police officer.

Just so dreadful i think i am in shock.

101 are in no position to say whether he legally chastised your child or not. They haven't seen the mark or investigated what happened, and are not qualified to make that assessment.
You need to contact the out of hours social worker for advice, and they will no doubt organise a medical appointment in the first instance to document the injury. They will want to hear your daughter's account of what happened and will also interview your ex as part of their assessment.

The inside thigh area is an odd place to hit a child. Nevermind the fact that the hitting left a mark. You are doing the right thing reporting it @Dalalalada

You won’t get to talk to a senior officer unless you make a complaint . Call handlers are likely to be no higher than a PC level in any case - not that it should make any difference . You have a number of options here . Make a complaint if you want to speak to a senior officer - or report again tomorrow to someone else over the phone because domestic assault on a minor must be recorded , no ifs , no buts . All domestic reports , whether non crime , or actual domestic related crime like criminal damage or assault must be recorded under the National Crime Recording Standards , plus the general guidelines under Home Office counting rules state :

National Crime Recording Standard (3 of 5)
ii. Parents, Carers and Professional ‘Third’ Party Reports: Crimes are often reported by individuals acting on behalf of victims. These may be referred to as ‘Third Party’ reports and commonly such reports include the following:
a) Persons acting in a professional capacity e.g. doctors, nurses, social workers and teachers reporting crimes, (often of a safeguarding nature), on behalf of victims of any age.
b) Parents or Carers acting as a guardian or responsible adult, reporting crime in the best interests of and/or to ensure that a child, or young person or adult at risk has appropriate access to police services.
When such persons reports crimes, they should always be regarded as acting on behalf of a victim. Where there is no doubt as to their status and/or position or the veracity of their report, those reports must be recorded as crimes.

We get audited to within an inch of our lives about this kind of thing and rightly so.

Your third option would be to physically attend the police station , but that might involve a wait .

If you call again tomorrow , if it were my force , we’d probably look at making an appointment to see you , as New Years Day is traditionally spent catching up on all the calls we couldn’t deal with overnight .

101 are wrong, disgraceful.

Ex child protection social worker here. To reiterate what's been said already, 'reasonable chastisement' would be a smack that doesn't leave a mark. Leaving a mark (eg red mark or bruise) would be an obvious tipping point for me, unless there were some clear extenuating circs (eg grabbing a child harshly and leaving a bruise when the situation was of pulling them away from danger, or if they had a to medical condition that meant they marked more easily)

As others have said, thigh is a more unusual and worrying place to mark. If you tap a [walking/toddling] child in stress, it's usually going to be hand/forearm/bum, maybe back or outside of the upper legs at a push. Inside thigh worries me. It makes me wonder if they were hit while lying on their back, for an example.

You have every right (and I'd strongly encourage) to postpone any further contact until you've spoken to your local children's services. Cancelling contact can be perceived as overly aggressive; you're not cancelling you just need to get some advice first. Wait for that advice and go from there.

Call police or out of hours social services to report this, 101 were wrong with their advice, he shouldn’t be hitting her leaving a mark.

Is the mark still there? If it is I would present her at A/E and clearly state you are doing so due to physical abuse, and safeguarding concerns. You could ring ahead and warn them you are coming. Go anyway if you speak to some Muppets again, who tries to put you off.

@Looubylou

Is the mark still there? If it is I would present her at A/E and clearly state you are doing so due to physical abuse, and safeguarding concerns. You could ring ahead and warn them you are coming. Go anyway if you speak to some Muppets again, who tries to put you off.

This is what I would do. When did she get back from contact/how old is the mark?

@Looubylou

Is the mark still there? If it is I would present her at A/E and clearly state you are doing so due to physical abuse, and safeguarding concerns. You could ring ahead and warn them you are coming. Go anyway if you speak to some Muppets again, who tries to put you off.

Yes do this. Also it will give you a medical paper trail to use as evidence to take to court. Try and get the names of the people at 101 who tell you to do nothing so you can advise others. I’m not in the UK but if you have something like an avo (apprehended violence order) from the police that might help as well. I’m so sorry, I can only imagine how shocked and worried you feel right now.

@MandUs

And if you are in Scotland hitting a child is illegal, mark or not.

Ditto in Wales

What did the police say op? As others have said 101 is wrong.