My exh hit my 7yo dd earlier this evening. Wwyd?

[Dalalalada]

Exh is abusive. He has 50 50 shared care, court ordered.

He hit dd so hard he left a very harsh mark.

I have called 101, who told me that he has legally chasized his child. I have reported to children's services who will get back to me tomorrow.

I have a picture of the mark he has left on the inside of her.thigh / knee area which i will share but dont know how to, if anyone can tell me.

What do i do? Refuse contact? Return to court? Any advice welcomed.

I hope you are more successful with your second call. Hitting hard enough to leave a mark is assault.

I have just read about another child being murdered recently by her mother, 5 year old Alijah Thomas in Ealing.

I'm sick and angry that the authorities do nothing and think it's ok for parents to physically discipline children, it's not. Parents go too far and end up murdering them.

I don't know what you can do, hopefully something. This has to stop.

Number 1: hope you and your daughter are ok and you are able to support her, 2, Christ if your ex had punched a random bloke in the street he would be in a cell. Absolutely ok to physically attack his own child though because he has 50/50 custody. Are we living in a dickens novel. He’s attacked her.

As another PP said, it's even more worrying that it's inside the thigh. She must have been lying down for him to be able to smack that part of her body: it's such a tender area too. Poor little mite.

I worked in child protection.This is an assault. The law clearly says this is not chastisement if you leave a mark or hit a child with an implement.

You stop contact immediately. Take a photograph of the mark. Notify the social services helpdesk in your area. The problem with the police is that many call handlers are civilians and don't know the law. They will always have a duty sergeant working in their call room.Ask to speak to one and tell them you want to see a child protection officer. Normally one come to speak to your daughter in company with a social worker.Its called multi agency working.Write down in direct speech everything your daughter told you about what had happened.

Definitely take her to A & E to be checked over. The safeguarding protocol will kick in.They will record the injury and want to check she has no other injuries/old injuries etc. This is how they find old fractures etc.

Call Out of hours children social care - look for the safeguarding line if they have one , as soon as you finish on the line with police
They will interview your DS - it may be that it goes through their MASH team. I'd expect protection team police officer to attend with social worker
Talk about your concern to safeguard your child
If you can take child to oohs GP - talk to 111 nhs that he sustained injury from an assault by his father and you need him medically checked over check injury and to preserve evidence of the abuse - if mark is still there. Let your DS tell his story

How did a court think 50/50 care would work with an abuser, would he just miraculously stop abusing?
This is bloody ridiculous, I had to fight 5 years through the courts for full custody of my son as my abuser regularly attacked him and in the end refused to let him see his father and at one point was threatened with imprisonment. I had to give up my career to qualify for legal aid. It is absurd that they put vulnerable women and children through this - disgusting.
It goes on all the time, the law MUST ne changed. My DS was terrified of his father. I could not let it continue.
How does your daughter feel about him?

Inside the thigh - he was trying to hide evidence of his abuse.

Weird place to have smacked her too.
I hope the police help you OP x

You can ask to speak to a Duty Sergeant to log the complaint. How has he hit your child in the inner thigh I think this is a child protection concern. I hope she is ok. What a c*nt of a man.

If she is safe with you you can wait for social service investigation. If not report as abuse. If all else fails go to a and e, or children's ward and see duty doctor for safeguarding help. Notify your lawyer. I'm sure you told your child it's wrong and not her fault.

Yeah it's illegal to hit a child and leave a mark. Hope the police take you seriously this time.

I will never understand why abusive men are allowed contact with their kids.

So he has assaulted his daughter & people who should know think it is "legal chastisement"?

The courts and cafcass only ever do supervised contact for a year or two and then they claim the abuser is better. It's judicial magical thinking that needs a whole overview.
When reality is that abusive men just learn strategies to not get caught again & to threaten and intimidate and DCs learn not to talk about their fear. My heart goes out to you OP .

Please follow this up as if your DS is scared of him and it can be proven he assaulted your DS, it will give you a couple tears of respite even if supervised contact respite.

Sorry I meant DD not DS

You need to present her at A&E and tell them that her father hit her. They will document the injury and refer to social services who will visit you and speak to her. At this point they will most likely give you permission to stop contact with her father and get a court order that further contact will have to be supervised. He is unlikely to be allowed to have her overnight any time soon.

Any update OP?

Hope you and Dd are OK OP

Agree with all of above, especially those who have raised the oddness of area. Not that any area is acceptable. Was she trying to get away from him?

Hopefully the police listen this time.

Hope op and daughter are getting support in real life now.

It's coming concerning that the screen grabbed from solicitors is inaccurate. It's not Britain that's behind Europe, it's England. Smacking children illegal in Scotland, and a previous poster days Wales too. Can't speak for NI. The sooner England closes the gap the better.

Not just judges magical thinking also the SS have this presumption that contact always should progress to unsupervised. Even with a life long track record. Previous courses. A course and
Suddenly they are going to be ok. I don’t think the public are aware of the issues. I know I just presumed the court And SS would protect vulnerable children. Hope you get the help you need.

No advice just astonishment at what call handler said.

Legal chastisement! Did they even ask what he was legally chastising for?? As pp said grabbing her to keep her safe or telling her off for some minor petty issue?

Ie she asked to go to bed ten minutes late because she wanted to watch a film so he legally chastised her and thumped her and left a bruise and that's OK?

This is why we need very clear simple laws... Don't hit your children.

Womble flump

No, general public aren't aware. It's only when you get caught up in this sort of nightmare, twilight world and you can't believe it's going on but by then it's too late.

A little like end of life "care" and dementia and people dying etc, until you have sat by your terminally ill loved one, you may not understand how barbaric we are making people carry on. but again by then it's too late until its our turn.