My exh hit my 7yo dd earlier this evening. Wwyd?

[Dalalalada]

Exh is abusive. He has 50 50 shared care, court ordered.

He hit dd so hard he left a very harsh mark.

I have called 101, who told me that he has legally chasized his child. I have reported to children's services who will get back to me tomorrow.

I have a picture of the mark he has left on the inside of her.thigh / knee area which i will share but dont know how to, if anyone can tell me.

What do i do? Refuse contact? Return to court? Any advice welcomed.

I am shocked at the posters saying you shouldn't be going to a&e!! Involve as many agencies as appropriate, and stop contact. There is some really brilliant advice on here OP, I hope that it helps. And I hope you and poor dd are ok.

@OwlPumpingIron

Message deleted by MNHQ

A&E for a child that’s been assaulted! Seems perfectly reasonable to me and I think a doctor would have a much better idea than either of us what should be seen in A&E.

Some posters here are embarrassing themselves with their ignorance of safeguarding. Going to A&E is not about the severity of the injury from the father’s assault on the daughter, it’s about involving as many agencies and bodies as possible to make sure there is as much evidence and weight to this incident, so the police can’t sweep it under the carpet and the evil cunt can’t do it again. To bruise her where he did is unsettling.

This isn't an A&E thing. Social services should be arranging a child protection medical with a paediatrician.

@OwlPumpingIron

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Whilst I agree attendance to A&E should not be misused, in this instance I would think A&E is an appropriate place to attend. The op is not taking her child for a simple injury/bruise, she is seeking formal medical assessment for a child who has been assaulted by a person who is suppose to protect her and has left with an injury whilst in there care. Staff are trained in safeguarding and such attendances. Attendance due to a parent hitting a child and leaving a ‘mark’ will raise concerns and red flags and should trigger a safeguarding referral to SS and the trust safeguarding team. The A&E dr or senior nurse practitioner will take an account and body map the injury and obtain clear photos for medical illustration and can discuss further with the paediatric and safeguarding teams. Police and SS can then liaise with those teams and formally request the documentation and images as part of any investigations.

I say this a nurse practitioner who works in A&E.

You are do g the right thing getting this documented. Break the arranged order and if it goes to court you did it to protect your child from physical violence. As he’s abusive I’m surprised it wasn’t supervised contact. I knew someone who had supervised contact arcs specialised children centre because he and his ex had a physical fight, she went for him with a knife and he defended himself. He was cut, bruised and scratched and she hadn’t a mark on her but the police arrested him and he was given supervised contact.

@Pinkflamingo87 thank you for that advice as I’m sure it puts ops mind at rest as I think anyone would hesitate a bit to go to A&E for something that doesn’t seem life threatening or serious right now.

When I worked in CP I viewed anything that left a visible mark as an ‘assault’ and no longer reasonable chastisement. I didn’t believe in reasonable chastisement anyway and I still don’t, it should be illegal here like it is in Scotland and Wales.

Call the police again as it’s abuse. Tell them about his history of abuse.

Ring NSPCC helpline for advice.

Then consult with your solicitor.

Definitely stop contact.
While this is investigated
You have reasonable excuse and evidence
Well done for documenting everything
And block ex for now don't take his voice calls. Maybe ask a third party to inform him why you stopping contact til this is investigated?
Emails or texts from him don't answer but keep.

I've worked as a HV and I absolutely agree that the child should be taken to A & E to be thoroughly checked. She should be seen by a paediatrician for this and this will trigger the appropriate procedures.

I'm another (now retired) Emergency and triage Nurse Consultant. I agree with the others that any injury to a child that is the result of an assault needs to be examined in A&E.

If you call 111 for medical advice for an injury to a child, you will always be asked if the cause might be due to assault, irrespective of the apparent severity of the injury. Any such injury caused to a child by an adult always requires A&E attendance asap.

I'm a NHS manager and this is absolutely what a&e is for! This child needs immediate examination by appropriately trained medical staff. Who can give evidence if needed.

I'm so sorry this has happened op, you are doing very well.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

Just to mention, when you're informing the school, do include copies of any legal orders in place or that you're pursuing.

Without a court order schools cannot prevent a child being taken by a parent with legal parental responsibility, although would do everything possible to delay such a situation.

I imagine if you've reported to the police there will be interim measures whilst court proceedings are going through.

Hopefully as multiple people with a variety of professional experience have explained this is absolutely an appropriate use of A&E, @OwlPumpingIron will stop making such ludicrous and ill informed assertions. No idea why they kept repeating rubbish when it was clear they were wrong.

This is a completely appropriate use of A&E to ensure safeguarding procedures are followed, the child is assessed for further injuries and the known injury is recorded as quickly as possible officially.

Thank you all for such valuable advice. She was interviewed today by police and social workers and we have gone for a walk and now eating tea. We will go to a and e this eve.

She requested that he was not arrestested so the police are interviewing him under caution on Monday they told him. Hes to have no contact with them or us until the investigations have concluded. I don't know how long this will be.

Im very sad about it all, really.

Thank you again all.

You’re doing brilliantly. I hope A&E isn’t too busy.

Well done.
Ask for referral to a family therapist or child psychologist who can work things thru with her
If she has a break from seeing him she might open up more thru play.
If she wants to see him it can be supervised.

what age is your daughter, OP ?

@alexdgr8

what age is your daughter, OP ?

Erm read the OP title.....

I'm glad to hear they have been out to see you today but did the social workers not already arrange a child protection medical for her? I imagine they may not have been able to given the weekend/bank hols so A&E may be the only option at this time. Be aware though in my experience of taking children to walk in centres/A&E for this kind of thing the staff are very uncomfortable with it as I found out only a couple of weeks ago. I also had a walk in centre refuse to allow a child in to be seen with a bruise similar to what your dd has. If the social workers have the photos of the injury then this will be sent to the person who will likely do the CP medical anyway so there will be a record of what it looked like when it 1st happened.

101 is in correct.

Legal chastisement does not include leaving a mark or causing more than transient pain.

Sorry that should say 101 isn't correct

Im so sorry op, so unfair for you and your child to be going through this.

Well done OP. Your DD will never forget that you fought the battle for her.