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Legal matters

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Husband wants me out of the house - Scotland

257 replies

AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:00

My husband of nine years (nearly ten) has declared he wants me out of our house as he wants us to separate. All out of the blue and he yesterday announced his decision. He said there's no going back on his decision and that's that, apparently. Confused, shocked and anger doesn't cover how I feel right now.

I want to put to the side the fact he may have an OW etc etc and concentrate on the legal matters at hand.

Some basic facts:

  • no children.
  • he bought the house in his name after we married. I'm not named on the deeds.
  • based in Scotland although married in England.
  • I have very little savings (around 2k in my own personal bank account).
  • he is the higher earner.

I am working part time as I'm a student and have gone back to uni so can't afford to buy him out or to find anywhere else to live right now. I only work 16 hrs a week on minimum wage.

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

He has offered me a lump sum of 50 thousand pounds to leave the house for good. He keeps saying this will be better than what I would be offered if solicitors are involved.

I understand I need legal advice and thankfully have some money to at least get some advice from one.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any initial advice on here. I feel like my world has imploded and he's acting as if nothing is wrong.

Thank you.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 25/06/2021 18:00

@AJ500 sounds familiar. My ex not long after we parted wanted me to move out, l refused. He then left to stay “with a work friend”. We tied up our legal loose ends, l moved out, divorce went through and half an hour after that he’s married to a friend of mine. They must have got engaged whilst we were married which is impressively low rent.

Have you been back to the solicitor yet? Do things at your pace and don’t let him intimidate you. Also get your pound of flesh

MadMadMadamMim · 25/06/2021 18:01

Really sorry to hear this, OP.

Agree with all the others. Just sit tight, refuse to move and tell him to go down a legal route of divorce.

You can't just be out by tomorrow. He's ludicrous.

Annonymiss123 · 25/06/2021 18:39

[quote EL8888]@AJ500 sounds familiar. My ex not long after we parted wanted me to move out, l refused. He then left to stay “with a work friend”. We tied up our legal loose ends, l moved out, divorce went through and half an hour after that he’s married to a friend of mine. They must have got engaged whilst we were married which is impressively low rent.

Have you been back to the solicitor yet? Do things at your pace and don’t let him intimidate you. Also get your pound of flesh[/quote]
😮😮

That is shocking!!

MrsRockAndRoll · 26/06/2021 21:38

Sending you Thanks

MrsRockAndRoll · 26/06/2021 21:38

[quote EL8888]@AJ500 sounds familiar. My ex not long after we parted wanted me to move out, l refused. He then left to stay “with a work friend”. We tied up our legal loose ends, l moved out, divorce went through and half an hour after that he’s married to a friend of mine. They must have got engaged whilst we were married which is impressively low rent.

Have you been back to the solicitor yet? Do things at your pace and don’t let him intimidate you. Also get your pound of flesh[/quote]
What a git!

ProseccoThyme · 27/06/2021 07:15

I'm really sorry to hear that update; you must be reeling - it is beyond cruel.

I wouldn't spend any energy trying to find another woman; instead I'd concentrate on self-care & starting the legal process.

It does not sound like there is a way back from this.

Take care of yourself.

IAmDaveTheSerialShagger · 28/06/2021 04:36

Oh your husband is awful, please stand your ground and do not move, I certainly would reuse to make life easy for him.

QueenBee52 · 30/06/2021 04:22

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

Oh your husband is awful, please stand your ground and do not move, I certainly would reuse to make life easy for him.

agreed 🌸

SD1978 · 30/06/2021 04:52

50k seems quite high when you've contributed nothing due to studying and much smaller wage, and no kids involved. You've said that's the full equity. Speak to a lawyer but that sounds like a more than fair deal given the percentage of contribution with no kids.

QueenBee52 · 30/06/2021 13:14

@SD1978

50k seems quite high when you've contributed nothing due to studying and much smaller wage, and no kids involved. You've said that's the full equity. Speak to a lawyer but that sounds like a more than fair deal given the percentage of contribution with no kids.

either way.. she IS entitled to it 🌸

AJ500 · 04/07/2021 19:41

Feeling like I can't cope tonight. Struggling massively.

He's turned fully verbally abusive towards me.

He keeps saying he wants me gone soon. He can't wait for me to leave. I need to find accommodation soon he keeps reminding me. Has taken down all photos of us etc.

He's said he's going to contact a solicitor asap and that the solicitor will only be mean too happy to help him get me out of the house.

I have some savings for solicitors etc but I'm massively scared. So scared of the future.

I know I may have asked before, sorry, but can he really turf me out this quickly? I don't want to leave, this is my fucking home (finding my anger here!!)

Can't afford to take the house on by myself.

Sorry for rant, feels good to get my feelings out on paper.

Thanks all!

OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 04/07/2021 20:26

listen... he cannot FORCE you out of your house and his Solicitor will tell him that.. so until everything is finalised and He buys you out..

You stay PUT 🌸

QueenBee52 · 04/07/2021 20:27

If he is verbally abusive .. start recording him ., just incase you need to phone the Police .. and it'll be Him they remove from the home not you, as he is being abusive 🌸

MrsRockAndRoll · 06/07/2021 14:15

How are you? Stay strong, sending a hand hold. Can Uni give you any support?

timeisnotaline · 06/07/2021 14:25

Just reread the thread from the start op, he can’t turf you out. What did the solicitor say? You mentioned a brother, could he visit for a weekend? It’s still your house too, you can have family visit.

AJ500 · 07/07/2021 19:24

@MrsRockAndRoll thank you for your kind words.
I've submitted a circumstances form with uni, I'm still awaiting exam results but I've been told the situation will be considered when my exam papers are marked.

@timeisnotaline my brother is in England and can't visit unfortunately due to work at the moment. I'm calling another solicitor tomorrow who does free thirty minute appointments.

The whole situation is just awful. I'm struggling mentally.

Tonight he announced he's spoken to the bank and will be speaking to a solicitor tomorrow as he "wants me gone" (his words) as soon as possible. He said I must move out soon else he will get retract his 50k offer. He's turned incredibly nasty, almost like a different person to the one I married.

There's something pushing him to do this. Or someone. The speed he wants me gone is just crazy. He's actually desperate to get me out, I've never seen anything like it before. He's even told me to take the dog we have if it'll get me out quicker (the dog is his life, there's something definitely at play here for him to do that!!)

OP posts:
MrsRockAndRoll · 07/07/2021 19:48

His behaviour is suspicious. Though maybe it's just to bully & pressure you to take a quick financial offer. Stay strong, you have rights

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 09/07/2021 12:54

It does sound like there could be another woman involved who maybe doesn't like dogs.

Weenurse · 18/07/2021 10:30

How are you? 💐

Vetyveriohohoh · 18/07/2021 10:51

Don’t leave the house until you get a financial settlement. Something or someone is definitely driving this. What’s your solicitor saying? Stay strong

AJ500 · 19/07/2021 17:00

Thanks for asking how I am.

He's been verbally abusive everyday since I last posted. Saying he wants me out as having me here is detrimental to his mental health, that he's close to having a breakdown because I'm still here and that I need to be gone soon. Everyday I'm hearing this, it's making me ill to be honest. Struggling massively because he has made all this to be my fault.

Some good news is that I passed my exams, thanks to whoever mentioned I should speak to my uni, I did just that and thankfully they accepted the situation as circumstances that could affect my performance. This helped with my grades.

I'm looking for a full time job which will help with finding a new place to live eventually.

I will update with what solicitor says later, he's hanging around so I don't want him to catch me on here.

OP posts:
LadyEloise · 19/07/2021 17:14

Well done you on getting those exams- Thanksno mean feat when your life as you know it has been pulled from under you.
I hope you got good legal advice.

Vetyveriohohoh · 19/07/2021 18:08

Well done OP! That’s Brilliant!

Just grey rock him until you get a financial agreement, you need to look out for your self here Flowers

AJ500 · 19/07/2021 18:18

Very difficult to grey rock him when he's shouting constantly at me. He's constantly starting on me verbally. I'm very panicky and anxious all the time.

He told me he's gonna take me to court to get me out of the house and that I'll end up with nothing in a financial settlement.

OP posts:
Vetyveriohohoh · 19/07/2021 18:42

Wow! What a bully… he could take you to court but they wouldn’t make you leave. He’s full of hot air. When are you speaking to solicitor? This must be so difficult

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