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Original poster

Husband wants me out of the house - Scotland

257 replies

AJ500 · 29/04/2021 16:00

My husband of nine years (nearly ten) has declared he wants me out of our house as he wants us to separate. All out of the blue and he yesterday announced his decision. He said there's no going back on his decision and that's that, apparently. Confused, shocked and anger doesn't cover how I feel right now.

I want to put to the side the fact he may have an OW etc etc and concentrate on the legal matters at hand.

Some basic facts:

  • no children.
  • he bought the house in his name after we married. I'm not named on the deeds.
  • based in Scotland although married in England.
  • I have very little savings (around 2k in my own personal bank account).
  • he is the higher earner.

I am working part time as I'm a student and have gone back to uni so can't afford to buy him out or to find anywhere else to live right now. I only work 16 hrs a week on minimum wage.

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

He has offered me a lump sum of 50 thousand pounds to leave the house for good. He keeps saying this will be better than what I would be offered if solicitors are involved.

I understand I need legal advice and thankfully have some money to at least get some advice from one.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any initial advice on here. I feel like my world has imploded and he's acting as if nothing is wrong.

Thank you.

OP posts:
BlueVelvetStars · 30/04/2021 15:48

Not in Scotland. She has no rights to her husband's inheritance.

Ooft .. every day is a learning curve 🌸

Mistressinthetulips · 30/04/2021 17:04

I looked into this once and it seems your spouse in Scotland is not entitled to a share of your inheritance if you divorce, but would/may be if it has changed in form since you received it - so if you convert the money to something you both use for example. I would think using it to pay off the mortgage on the family home could count as that. But I'm still unclear how anyone has a spouse who buys a house and doesn't put their name on it!

I0NA · 30/04/2021 22:19

@Mistressinthetulips

I looked into this once and it seems your spouse in Scotland is not entitled to a share of your inheritance if you divorce, but would/may be if it has changed in form since you received it - so if you convert the money to something you both use for example. I would think using it to pay off the mortgage on the family home could count as that. But I'm still unclear how anyone has a spouse who buys a house and doesn't put their name on it!
That’s right, if you don’t bring the inheritance into the marriage then it’s not a matrimonial asset . But if you use it to pay off the mortgage on the matrimonial home then that will probably be seem as bringing it into the marriage.

If he had left it in a bank account in his own name then it wouldn’t have been a matrimonial asset.

So the Op does need legal advice.

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 30/04/2021 22:33

You are definitely worse off getting divorced in Scotland as the woman lesser earner. I married in England and spent some of my married life there, however most of it was spent in Scotland or abroad therefore my settlement was not as good as it might gave been had we spent more time in England.
Get legal advice before agreeing to anything, it may be the best money you've ever spent.

brokengate · 30/04/2021 22:43

She absolutely does @I0NA

Because of course it then gets more complicated. If acting for him, you are going to be arguing source of funds. So inheritance put into property in his name, source is his. Against what you have said, it's become matrimonial. Throw in there an economic disadvantage argument and it's all over the place.

First things first, get the valuations, then decide what's worth arguing about. Never spend more arguing than you are going to receive. Eg, don't go to proof arguing about a 5k inheritance and rack up 10k of legal fees. (Figures made up as example).

I0NA · 30/04/2021 22:52

@brokengate

Would he have a good point on source of funds because the inheritance and paying off part of the mortgage sounds relatively recent?

I think it also suggests he that has not taken advice.

BlackDaffodil · 04/05/2021 03:55

How are you @AJ500 🌺

EL8888 · 04/05/2021 21:46

@BlackDaffodil l was wondering the same. Hope you’re ok @AJ500

Original poster
AJ500 · 04/05/2021 21:48

Hello! Thank you for the concern.

Still no update. Solicitor on Friday and then we will see.

Husband and I have been talking lots, there is a chance we may try counselling route before separation. I am still going to see a solicitor (on the quiet) to see my options.

OP posts:
I0NA · 04/05/2021 22:14

I think that’s a good plan - to run a twin track. Hope for the best but plan for the worst.

Any legal advice you get is confidential and you can decide who and when you tell about it. If at all. It doesn’t do any harm to get the facts and a legal opinion.

BlackDaffodil · 05/05/2021 00:40

Yes good idea, and good luck 🌺

redastherose · 06/05/2021 19:52

I'd be cautious that his about face and being willing to try counselling now and there's now no rush was because he told OW that he'd asked you to skedaddle and they could be together properly and she was horrified as told him she's not serious!

Horehound · 06/05/2021 20:54

@redastherose

I'd be cautious that his about face and being willing to try counselling now and there's now no rush was because he told OW that he'd asked you to skedaddle and they could be together properly and she was horrified as told him she's not serious!
I agree. Personally I don't know why you'd consider counseling. This man was prepared to throw you out on the street in a matter of days. Had it all planned out. Something in his plan has changed. I'd be very cautious
Annonymiss123 · 07/05/2021 11:27

@redastherose

I'd be cautious that his about face and being willing to try counselling now and there's now no rush was because he told OW that he'd asked you to skedaddle and they could be together properly and she was horrified as told him she's not serious!
Unfortunately I'm inclined to agree with this.

Please put yourself first @AJ500 and don't be fooled by him. As @Horehound said, something in his plan is likely to have changed.
Flowers

user1471433754 · 07/05/2021 11:34

Please whatever you do, do not agree to anything until you have seen a solicitor. Under Scottish law you are entitled to 50/50 split. House, pensions, etc. I've been there, central belt area. Take good legal advice. Wish you all the best.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 08/05/2021 04:09

Hope it went well today, read this thread in disgust at your husband. Shocking the way he has treated you.

justwant2beamum · 14/05/2021 00:51

you have occupancy rights in terms of matrimonial homes act 1981. You are deemed non entitled spouse under the act. You have occupancy rights and he can't Chuck you out. You're entitled to remain in the property and your rights would even survive a sale. He can't sell to a third party without you also signing the deed as you a are a non entitled spouse. He can only sell with your consent.

Leanandmean31 · 18/05/2021 07:32

I don’t know that much about Scots law (I’m an English lawyer) but I’d try to get this done as amicably and cheaply as possible given the sums involved. It’s unlikely that he has millions squirrelled away and it would be extremely expensive to try to find out. Seriously, if it went to court, you can kiss goodbye to half the equity in the house.

32k is a modest salary. At your age and without children you won’t get maintenance. The court can make a pension sharing order but that gives you a share of his pension as a pension for yourself that pays out when you retire. You won’t get anything now. You could ask for more capital in return for not claiming against the pension but from what? There doesn’t seem to be a lot of capital here and no judge is going to give him nothing. To be honest, I don’t even think a judge would be minded to make a pension sharing order for a couple in their early 30s with no dependents and no relationship-generated disadvantage for either of them. Forces pensions can be valuable but where there have only been 12 years service and if a pp is correct that the CETV is about 100k, this one isn’t particularly large. And as I said, you will get a percentage of its current value in a pension fund of your own (IF you do get a pension share which is a big if).

I think getting a valuation is sensible. Then you can sit down again and look at the numbers. The fact that he’s offering you statements etc shows that he’s probably not hiding that much.

I’d expect him to get some credit for the inheritance. Maybe not the full value if the equity is modest. It’s impossible to say without a valuation of the house but if your figures are correct and there’s no more than 60k in it, then 50k would be good.

Also, for those posters saying that you won’t be disappointed if you go to see a solicitor, let me tell you about the many people I have seen who do end up disappointed. We can’t magic up money that isn’t there. There’s no reason why she’d get more than half and a good reason (inheritance) why she’d get a bit less. So going to see a lawyer isn’t a magic bullet and it will cost you. Oh and for every husband who’s tried to diddle his wife out of what she’s entitled to, there will be ones who have made an overly generous offer before taking legal advice because they want it over and done with ASAP.

Both of you should get independent initial legal advice (go armed with as much financial disclosure as you have so that the solicitor can accurately assess a likely settlement). Then, once you are clear of your positions, you can talk or go to mediation and ask the solicitors to draw up a consent order. Don’t go to court, don’t get in a situation where you only talk through lawyers, don’t be unrealistic. You will regret spending 20 grand on a lawyer.

LuvMyBubbles · 26/05/2021 20:50

@itwa

So he has his military pension, but he will also have a pension from his current employer.

It's not a case of 'grabbing his pension'. It's just that all assets go on the table and then the division is sorted. No one has the right to keep anything 'off the table'

Well said.
LuvMyBubbles · 26/05/2021 21:08

Sorry if I missed this, why was the home only in his name OP?

Original poster
AJ500 · 25/06/2021 17:38

Just wanted to update here.

We had counselling (online). Was going ok, things were getting back on track etc etc.

Ten year anniversary five days ago. He announced on that day he wanted me out, so the whole saga has started again. He wanted me gone by tomorrow and has happily skipped off to an estate agent to look at new houses for himself whilst I've been left in absolute shock. He's on cloud nine it seems whilst I've been left feeling stuck, once again.

Definitely has to be another woman involved. My gut instinct is telling me so.

OP posts:
Original poster
AJ500 · 25/06/2021 17:41

When I say happily skipped off, I mean it. He's pouring over brochures of new builds, online looking at Rightmove right in front of me and even commenting on how nice the houses look and that he can't wait to live the single life again..

My brother has asked if he's about to come into an amount of money soon.. seems suspicious right?

OP posts:
EL8888 · 25/06/2021 17:48

@AJ500Sorry to hear this update. I had a feeling this might happen, from the way he approached it all last time. His timing this time was vile. The whole thing is massively suspicious, lm thinking windfall / inheritance, another romantic interests etc. But yeah like l said last time don’t move out!!!

Whiskyinajar · 25/06/2021 17:49

@AJ500

When I say happily skipped off, I mean it. He's pouring over brochures of new builds, online looking at Rightmove right in front of me and even commenting on how nice the houses look and that he can't wait to live the single life again..

My brother has asked if he's about to come into an amount of money soon.. seems suspicious right?

what an utter scumbag he is.

Screw the bastard for every penny you can. Arsehole.

Original poster
AJ500 · 25/06/2021 17:52

Yes, I've suffered massively, been put on anti depressants, sleeping tablets etc since his first admission that he wanted me out in April. I'm not coping at all and just feel a shell of myself, whilst he's banging on about his new bachelor lifestyle suddenly.

I don't recognise him at all.

Thank you for your support everyone - very kind of you all. Flowers

OP posts: