Husband wants me out of the house - Scotland

[AJ500]

My husband of nine years (nearly ten) has declared he wants me out of our house as he wants us to separate. All out of the blue and he yesterday announced his decision. He said there's no going back on his decision and that's that, apparently. Confused, shocked and anger doesn't cover how I feel right now.

I want to put to the side the fact he may have an OW etc etc and concentrate on the legal matters at hand.

Some basic facts:

• no children.
• he bought the house in his name after we married. I'm not named on the deeds.
• based in Scotland although married in England.
• I have very little savings (around 2k in my own personal bank account).
• he is the higher earner.

I am working part time as I'm a student and have gone back to uni so can't afford to buy him out or to find anywhere else to live right now. I only work 16 hrs a week on minimum wage.

He said he doesn't want to involve solicitors but has threatened he will.

He has offered me a lump sum of 50 thousand pounds to leave the house for good. He keeps saying this will be better than what I would be offered if solicitors are involved.

I understand I need legal advice and thankfully have some money to at least get some advice from one.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any initial advice on here. I feel like my world has imploded and he's acting as if nothing is wrong.

Thank you.

@HoldontoOneMoreDay

It's highly likely she's underestimating the equity in the house, given that it is a house in Edinburgh and things are bonkers here just now. In fact, given the sum mentioned and the fact the H is planning to remortgage, I'd take a guess that the equity is £100k at least. But of course that is a guess and she needs legal advice and house valuations.

Seriously? You think you know the equity more than her?

I can assure you that the average Edinburgh resident wil have no idea of exactly what’s happening in the local housing market right now. People who are actively viewing properties and making offers are surprised on a daily basis.

And the Op doesn't know what other matrimonial assets are held in her husband's sole name. Many many women don’t.

He wouldn't be able to remortgage up to the full value of the house would he? So he must think there is more equity than the full amount he wants to give her

Houses in Edinburgh and the surrounding area are going for 10-20% over the Home Report value. The equity in the house could well be more than you think.

Before you see the solicitor write down all the assets you can think of.

House
Pension
Cars
Savings
Current accounts
ISA's
Shares
House contents

I would also arrange for someone to come and value the house yourself.

@AJ500

Hi everyone.

Just been reading through your comments.

Just told my mum and brother, they're down in England but my mum said I could potentially move into hers for a while if needs be. I desperately want to be with my family at this time but I'm staying put until I have all the facts.

Right now I'm fact gathering before I think of a decision. I have important exams in six weeks and I've told husband that they are my priority right now. Alongside this I have also booked a solicitors appointment, and also going to book a GP appointment as I've barely slept/not ate and I'm coping pretty badly.

@AJ500 Just on your first point here, this is definitely something to try to discuss with your solicitor if you can. Again, it's been a while since I studied any of this, but I'm pretty sure there are protections in law which mean that you can move out of the marital home without being deemed to have given up your interest in it - they might be able to give you a steer on whether moving out in a bit is an option without jeopardising your position.

OP you sound as if you are logical and making good decisions in a very stressful situation

It’s all nonsense anyway. Where is he going to get the £50k that he’s going to give her by Sunday if she moves out?

Supposedly the only assets they have are the equity in the house and his pension. Which of these is he going to cash in by this weekend ?

And any separation agreement that he drew up himself and coerced her to sign can easily be challenged because he prevented her from getting legal advice.

There’s no way that such an agreement could be registered with the court.

@AJ500 that sounds like a sensible plan especially with a big exam not far away. Thinking of you x

So husband has become less demanding and has proposed this:

• he is going to get the house valued and then is thinking remortgaging to pay me off (I hate writing it like that but it's how it is). This is how he will access the money and give me a lump sum.
• houses around here have gone up in value. Our neighbours recently sold for 40k more than the price it was sold 2 years ago. I think this is where he's got the idea from. He has already paid off a chunk of the mortgage due to coming into inheritance.
• he doesn't want me to decide by the weekend anymore.

I've booked a solicitor appointment for next week, and a GP appointment too. I've told him that I'm fact gathering and then will come to a rational decision once my exams have passed. This is in six weeks. He understands my exams are my priority and has accepted this. He's actually offered up all his financial and pension details to take to the solicitor as he agrees I need to see a legal professional before making a decision.

He has told me he doesn't want me to suffer financially hence the lump sum.

My family have been great and have said I can move there whenever and there will always be a home for me.

So now I need to wait for the solicitor appointment to see what they say.

I also want to say that I understand I won't be coming out of this with hundreds of thousands in the bank, or course not. I just want a fair deal to be honest.

One other thing OP, speak to your tutor or student support and get this on their radar please, regarding your exams. My uni (also distance learning) has been v supportive of a personal crisis I’ve had this year and they spoke of an exceptional circumstances reporting form that could be submitted at the end of the year if I needed. Perhaps yours has similar?

@Ohdeariedear thank you I will do.

My thoughts:

Speak to the university because this type of upheaval is mitigating circumstances for bad exam results (in England, so maybe in Scotland too?). Maybe you only inform the exam board afterwards if you get a worse result than you were expecting? I don't know.

His timing with the exams could be deliberate. He knows you don't want stressed and need to prioritize studying at this time, so less likely to have fight in you and more likely to accept his offer.

He has planned this. Probably already been to solicitor. Has taken all solo paperwork account information frim the house so you can't see it. Makes me think something to hide. Second property? Large pension? Savings? Lying about salary?

People talking like £32k is peanuts, why? On £32k with someone else (you) paying half bills he could easily have squirrelled away quite a few thousand in 10 years, if he/you both lives a fairly frugal lifestyle. Which I'm thinking you might since you're paying half of everything and you don't earn much. On £25k I was saving £4k a year without missing it. Depends how you live. If eg he saved £10k/yr that's £100k in the bank after 10yrs plus interest.

Don't know where you stand with the fact you earned less but paid half, so proportional as a percentage of income you paid more than him to daily living costs. Did you pay half the mortgage too or renovation costs? I know you said house is in his name. I don't know if it makes any difference if you paid or not because you're married anyway.

Your career was impacted by prioritizing his by moving every 2yrs. Maybe you're owed 'compensation' for that if you're splitting?

I'm wondering if it makes any difference if you refuse to agree to divorce/separate until 8 weeks time, after the 10yr marriage anniversary?

He wants to share solicitor in an attempt to prevent you from having someone fight your corner. He's being ridiculous. He's afraid of you taking legal advisor because he knows/thinks you'll get more than he's offering.

Hope the solicitor apt goes well and you can get some clarity on it all.

I read your thread and the first thought that popped into my head was that he has recently got an inheritance and hasn't disclosed the full value of it.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I read he recently paid off a chunk of mortgage with an inheritance!

I presume you don't get to see mortgage statements because this bastard didn't put you on the deeds or the mortgage? Buckle up op, it's about to get bumpy.

My guess is that he has paid off the mortgage and has been stiffing you for half the payments. You need a solicitor and to never trust this slimy piece of shit ever again.

Out of interest, do the financial docs he's 'willing to share' (how very generous of him) include the mortgage statements. I bet he has misplaced those...

I want to know how he arrived at the figure of 50k. It's too much to just pluck out of thin air and write off on a salary of 32k, so he must have had advice and done some sort of calculation.

There's no benefit to him to overpay when at that stage you hadn't even mentioned getting a solicitor. Even if he was doing so out of the kindness of his heart/wanting it sorted quickly you would have thought from the very off he would have been upfront about how he picked that figure, and not start to discuss the nitty gritty of finances until after allowing the dust to settle and for you to come to terms with his sudden desire to end the marriage. As someone else said, trying to hurry someone into a major decision with a ridiculous deadline is a scammer's trait. A person who truly wants to part ways amicably and fairly doesn't behave the way he has done. The fact that he bought the house when married to OP but didn't even put her on the deeds, and asked for 50% contributions despite the disparity in their wages tells us this isn't a man who has given much thought to "fairness" previously, so why start now?

Personally I think he's hiding something. Either the pension, secret savings, the true amount of equity in the property (he may well have been overpaying the mortgage thinking he'd protected "his" asset by keeping it in his name), inheritance beyond the figure OP knows about or a combination. Posters saying "it's a good deal, take it", are relying on his word and OP's limited knowledge of his financial affairs which he's purposefully kept her away from.

@Bluntness100 I think anyone who has a house in Edinburgh (not a flat) and who isn't actively engaged with the property market is probably underestimating their equity right now.

[quote HoldontoOneMoreDay]@Bluntness100 I think anyone who has a house in Edinburgh (not a flat) and who isn't actively engaged with the property market is probably underestimating their equity right now. [/quote]
And I suspect OP's H is not one of those people...

He’s hiding something huge!
I’d bet money on it.

The op seems very aware of property prices, and even knows what her neighbours sold for. How patronising to say she doesn’t.

Legally dont you actually own 50% of that inheritance as well?
He seems to be working on the basis of "the only thing you have any right to is the physical house" which really isnt true.

Leave it to your solicitor to sort out with his solicitor. Concentrate on your own wellbeing and exams. Do not move out or agree to a divorce until it suits you and you are ready. If he is unhappy then suggest he moves out until everything is sorted and you have money in the bank.

I hope you have already removed your half of the joint savings into your own saving accounts.

@Bluntness100 yes I know, I was just giving her an example. She has the right to take his pension at pension age but most take a lower value for a clean break one off payment.

@StormTreader

Legally dont you actually own 50% of that inheritance as well? He seems to be working on the basis of "the only thing you have any right to is the physical house" which really isnt true.

Not in Scotland. She has no rights to her husband's inheritance.