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Legal matters

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Original poster

ex husband has reappeared and wants money

133 replies

ItGetsBetter · 19/01/2021 22:34

After 13 years of no contact, no maintenance, my ex husband has been in touch on social media.

In 2008, he vanished abroad, draining our bank account, leaving me in massive debt and with our baby son.

During the marriage, he put 90k inheritance from his father, into a second property.

When he left I sold it. It took two years to sell.

The money I used to pay off the debts he left me with and keep the mortgage paid on our house, and keep myself and my son going. I worked as many hours as I could.

I was able to divorce him as he cropped up on an internet search and my solicitor dealt with him. The divorce judge ordered that he pay all costs but he was never around so I paid.

There was no financial settlement.

I paid for a court order to legally change my son's surname to mine, which the court agreed to.

My former husband has now emerged demanding some of his inheritance back.
Our son is 13 and suffered a serious illness aged 4-8yrs (cancer). I could not work. We were constantly in hospital/chemo/vinc and dex etc.

We are back on our feet now, my son is thriving and I have bought us a small ex-council house outright so that we are financially safe.

I have never had another relationship.

My ex husband wants me to find a lawyer and get a 'legally binding agreement' to get his share of his inheritance back.

I have no idea where I stand or what to do. I don't think my ex lives in this country. I think he is still in Thailand or Cambodia or wherever.

Does he legally have rights to his money back?

I should say - after 13 years of hell, paying debts, keeping ds alive, buying our little house, I literally don't have any money anymore.

Thanks

OP posts:
MadamFlutterby · 19/01/2021 22:40

Was the property in joint names?

FortunesFave · 19/01/2021 22:40

He wants YOU to find a lawyer??

Completely ignore him.

He won't have a leg to stand on. Block him.

My bet is that he has entered a new relationship and she's asking about his money in the UK...he probably wants to please her and is trying his luck.

From the sound of it he isn't going to be capable of trying to sue you from abroad...and given he left you with debts etc, he won't be able to.

Block and ignore. Try to put it out of your mind.

PersonaNonGarter · 19/01/2021 22:44

Hahahaha. He can get tae fuc.

No - you don’t need to get a lawyer. And even if he gets one to write you a letter (he might try) you should just ignore it.

Please just block him. He doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on.

Pyewhacket · 19/01/2021 22:49

You'd need more information to make any sort of informed comment. Essentially can he prove he put £90k into the second property and the title the property was held in.

Lucked · 19/01/2021 22:51

You could reply askings for 13 years of back dated child maintenance and remind him he still owes you for the court fees!

Probably wiser to do what above have recommended and don’t do anything. Block him on everything and ignore. Wait to see if he does get proper legal representation.

I struggle to believe that he could get any sort of financial settlement but I would certainly be making him jump through every hoop and make him take you all the way to court!

WhatKatyDidNxt · 19/01/2021 22:51

Hahaha! Block and ignore. He’s a piece of work isn’t he. Good luck with everything, he totally left you high and dry didn’t he

CorianderBee · 19/01/2021 22:52

Surely if he re enters the country he's liable for 12 years of child maintenance?

Pyewhacket · 19/01/2021 22:53

Please just block him. He doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on

If the property was held in joint name he may well have a legal claim but you/him would need to take professional advice on that

Original poster
ItGetsBetter · 19/01/2021 23:38

Both our home and the second property were in my name only. He wasn't allowed a cheque book let alone a mortgage.
He is threatening me now.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 19/01/2021 23:42

He’s welcome to find his own lawyer. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Noidea2114 · 19/01/2021 23:42

Is your ex in the UK or still abroad. If in the UK make sure you keep all his messages of threats then contact the police.
If abroad ignore.

PickAChew · 19/01/2021 23:43

Heck, ignore ignore ignore.

If he thinks he's entitled, let him do the legwork.

Onedropbeat · 19/01/2021 23:45

When I divorced We had to sign a clean break agreement as our solicitors advised otherwise we would each be able to claim for future inheritances

Could that be the case here?

thequeenoftarts · 19/01/2021 23:49

How is he threatning you?

cabbageking · 19/01/2021 23:51

Write out the situation that applied when he left 're debts and assets along with the details of any outstanding maintenance and seek legal advice.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 19/01/2021 23:56

Ignore him completely. Maybe, if you can afford it, speak to a lawyer about protecting yourself and your finances. Dont speak to one on his behalf to get him the money.
He lives in another country. What's he going to do? Ignore him. If he ever appears here, call the police.

Original poster
ItGetsBetter · 19/01/2021 23:57

There was no clean break.
He just left, leaving me ten thousand overdrawn.
He is clearly very angry.
Maybe his way of making me go away instead of trying to get some support? ie threaten me?

OP posts:
Original poster
ItGetsBetter · 19/01/2021 23:58

I've blocked him. That doesn't help though.

OP posts:
Tavannach · 20/01/2021 00:01

Send him a breakdown of the debts paid and the court costs. Divide the remainder by 13 x 52 as maintenance. Don't comment. Then just block and ignore.

sofiaaaaaa · 20/01/2021 00:02

Speak to a solicitor, most give free consultations

Veuvestar · 20/01/2021 00:05

I remember your story, he was a total bastard.
Does he know where you live?
I wouldn’t reply

BluebellsGreenbells · 20/01/2021 00:06

I wouldn’t get involved with figures as you could look like a) you actually care or b) somehow admit to owing the money.

I would assume he’s in debt again and is in trouble.

You are divorced - he hasn’t got a legal leg to stand on

Enough4me · 20/01/2021 00:06

He's trying it on as has nothing to lose. Even if he gets a lawyer he has to pay to set-up a file and prove rights to a property that was not in his name and was yours.

He left you years ago with properties that were yours, end of. Not in his name, not his assets. If they were legally his he would have sought financial separation at the time.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/01/2021 00:07

He's a joke. He doesn't have a leg to stand on. Keep him blocked and never communicate with him again.

prh47bridge · 20/01/2021 00:07

There is some very poor advice on this thread. Those who say he doesn't have a legal leg to stand on are wrong.

The OP was married to her ex. Whether the property was in joint names is irrelevant. As there has been no financial settlement her ex is entitled to apply for a financial order provided he has not remarried. That does not, of course, mean that he will be entitled to as much money as he is requesting. There isn't enough information here to say how much he might get.

@ItGetsBetter - I would recommend consulting a solicitor. Once they are in possession of all the facts they will be able to advise on the likely outcome if he does take it to court. You don't have to pay him anything at this stage and you could choose to ignore him but, if he does choose to make a claim, you need to know where you stand. Ideally in that situation you should aim to reach a settlement with him before it goes to court.

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