Husband bought a house/divorce.

[MinnieKat]

My ex husband started divorce proceedings against me (separated 6 years at that point) and I received the first papers in January. These got mislaid (extenuating circumstances) and I requested a second copy from the court in March. Obviously the papers were delayed by COVID and I received them a couple of weeks ago. Nothing has been signed.

I checked the land registry yesterday and found that the house XH and his partner moved into in May is owned by them as I suspected.

What is my position?

We have 3 children and 95% of childcare has been done by me since our split. Due to DC’s needs and his lack of input I’ve only had part time jobs or relied on benefits since then. I can prove he has had no responsibility for their educational/medical requirements and all decisions have been made by me.

Your position in what? A claim on the house he's bought with his new partner? What's the situation with the home you reside in? Owned or rented?

Since the house was bought long after the separation and with a new partner and would legally be considered ‘non-matrimonial’ asset, as a result it is very unlikely you would be granted any value from the asset as part of the divorce.

The laws regarding the division of non-matrimonial assets in a divorce are very clear and relate to the extent to which the asset was accrued because of the marriage.
So a house that was bought with savings which were saved during the marriage,
A bonus from a job that was acquired and worked during the marriage.

Since this house has been bought with a new partner long after you have separated I don’t think you will have any legal entitlement to any portion of the house, unless a large deposit was made using savings accrued during the marriage.

I live in rented housing and always have done.

He has only been able to buy because he has had no childcare commitments and has been able to work.

Legal advice so far from local solicitors suggests that I will have a claim as no financial order has been signed and so all assets are shared.

Does he pay child maintenance? I'm not sure what you'll be able to get out of the house. Considering his partner also owns it, a forced sale won't happen. Is he a high earner, it had his financial position significantly improved since you separated? If its decided you were indeed entitled to a percentage of his part of the house, does he have the means to pay it?

I presume you can be paid money for your children but not sure the house has anything to do with you

So after 6 years of separation, and you then conveniently 'misplaced' the divorce papers. And now you have found out he has bought a house with his partner.

The only thing you should do is sign the papers, get divorce and therapy if you haven't moved on.

If he not paying CM then go to CMS and get it deducted from his wages.

Video call with the solicitors tomorrow.

They believe I have a claim as his position has improved since our separation which it wouldn’t if he had had more of his share of childcare. My position has also been weakened by this so I may be able to claim spousal maintenance.

He wouldn’t divorce me before then because he was happy to stay married and I couldn’t afford the costs of divorcing him. Now he wants to, which has always been what I wanted. I had no clue he was buying a house when those papers got lost, I would’ve just signed them.

Why should I get nothing when the only reason he had the money to buy anywhere was because I raised his children alone because he wouldn’t do his share?

Unless he's on mega bucks, spousal will not happen. Does he pay child maintenance? Does he have a pension? Stop focusing on the house.

Yes, he pays CM.

I believe he has a pension but I have no details.

Why should I get nothing when the only reason he had the money to buy anywhere was because I raised his children alone because he wouldn’t do his share?

Here here.

Be careful about getting huge legal bills though incase it doesn’t go in your favour.

He probably has a mortgage so not much equity.
If he had any sense he would have bought it as tenants in common weighted to his new partner.

Over

Thank you, I’m not trying to be a bitch, we split years ago, and I’ve very much moved on. His position only is what it is though because I did the work of raising his children and dealing with the additional needs of all three, to the detriment of my own potential. He works in a job with shifts so it was easy for him to just pick up overtime and change when he’d see the children because I was always there to pick up the slack. He knew I couldn’t pay to go to court to get arrangements set in stone so he’s just done what he wants for 7 years.

If he had any sense he’d have realised buying a house before he’s settled financially with his ex wife wasn’t a great idea. He’s never been very bright.

I got spousal maintenance, ex was not on 'megabucks', be careful of what you fight for, make sure you are clear on the outcome you want and don't end up with excessive legal bills.

If he is still married to you and the financial settlement hasn't been finalised you can claim against his house. MY divorce solicitor was pretty clear on wanting the financial agreement completed before applying for the decree absolute as it means neither of us has any come back to future assets amassed after the fact.

Get legal advice and then decide on how to proceed..

All I want is something to show for all this.

It’s not the money or the house or his pension, or any of that.

It’s the fact that I’ve put in so much and have nothing, he puts in nothing and gets a house, a career and security.

I’m worth something.

I don't think you have been given great advice if you've been told you'll get a slice of his new property, not after that many years of separation. I'm mid court proceedings at the moment trying to settle with my ex who I split with just over two years ago and the judge has already told us at the FDA last week that any assets accrued post separation aren't up for discussion (aka my savings since separation that my ex would like 50% of) as there isn't a need for it and he didn't contribute towards it. He can't have a share of it just because it is available if it wasn't accrued during the marriage.

If you're in rented housing then you don't need capital for a mortgage, and it sounds like the only asset would be his pension? Even then, its only the amount that was accrued during the marriage that would count. Spousal maintenance is increasingly rare these days, its mainly for very high earners, and even then its time limited. I think the chances are low especially after such a long delay.

Throughout the past few years, I'd assume you've been claiming CSA/CMS payments for the children? Unfortunately, that's very often all the non resident parent has to pay.

I'm obviously speaking based on the advice I've been given - but I have a good solicitor who's with what I pay him so I've no reason to doubt what he tells me, yours may have a different view.

I really think you need to lower your expectations.

Unless he is an incredibly high earner, with a high six figure or seven figure income in the U.K. your chance of being awarded spousal maintenance is close to 0%, it’s just not something the British courts like to entertain.
The only exemption is for incredibly high earners @who’s spouses have been supported exclusively by the breadwinner for a long marriage and have almost no earning potential and then they still have to jump through hoops to get it.

I would also say that you have no legal claim on his houses, as a non-matrimonial asset you would have to prove that asset was accrued as a direct result of the marriage, which it doesn’t sound like it was.
your statement that the only reason he was able to buy was because he didn’t have childcare responsibilities definitely does make the whole situation seem very unfair, but his lack of help with the children does not entitle you to a claim on the house.

The fact that it’s only recently been purchased will mean there is no equity, so you basically want to stake a claim of his half of a mortgage.

I genuinely think you are putting your energy into the wrong fight, I don’t think you will have any chance of a claim for spousal maintenance or against his property, it will likely just cost you a lot of money to chase a shadow if you try to go after it.
It really infuriates me when certain kinds of solicitors lead people to believe they have a chance with things like spousal maintenance, it seems to be a growing trend, almost all end up disappointed with a large bill.

You should instead be pursuing increased child maintenance if his income has increased since your separation and attempt to increase his contact so that so much of the childcare responsibilities don’t fall solely onto you.

The children don’t want to go to him more now, so increased contact isn’t possible.

Not a divorce lawyer, but I really don’t think you would be found to have any moral or legal stake in his new house, or other shared assets of his new relationship. I would be very cautious about going down the road of possible big legal bills and acrimonious relations. I really doubt a judge would look favourably on you losing the papers comvsntiently when his house purchase is going through, and then trying to lay a claim as you are still technically married. Not saying you did anything intentional, but I really doubt anyone will manage to successfully paint that as a marriage asset.

All that said, it sounds like a financial settlement is long overdue. It may not be what you want however: really this should have all been sorted years again, it sounds like the unequal position you are now in is more a result of circumstances post separation than circumstances during the marriage itself? Lawyers will be able to help you evaluate how a judge would examine this, but I’m not sure if going partt time post separation will be considered in the same light as doing this for childcare during the marriage?
Has he been paying you child maintenance, and if so how was this figure agreed? Unfortunately it sounds to me like if there was an agreement for manigance and he kept to it, but it wasn’t one that put equal pressure on you both, you might not be in a strong position? It sounds like you were really helpful by being flexible, but this might not be to your benefit financially.

I didn’t know about the house purchase, how could I in January when they didn’t complete until April? I’m not meant to know now but I suspected he had purchased and checked the land registry. He doesn’t know I know, so there can be no question of me losing the papers on purpose and there were extenuating circumstances as to why they were lost.

It may be not be to my benefit but I’d be a fool not to check and fight it if I have a good chance of being entitled to claim something from him. It was his choice to stay married this long, not mine, but he wouldn’t pay half and I couldn’t afford it all. He chose to stay married because it suited him at the time.

@MinnieKat

It may be not be to my benefit but I’d be a fool not to check and fight it if I have a good chance of being entitled to claim something from him. It was his choice to stay married this long, not mine, but he wouldn’t pay half and I couldn’t afford it all. He chose to stay married because it suited him at the time.

Remember that your solicitor gets paid whether you win or not, so they have a vested interest in pushing you to fight.

Your best chances might be a mediate settlement—i really don’t think getting into a big legal spat is going to help you, it will be extremely expensive really quick and you could end up losing a lot of money on it, and you might even have to pay him money for his lawyers. If you’re hard up too, even if it is going well if you run out of resources before it’s over you mind end up with nothing anyway.
Don’t ever go in to see lawyers thinking you are up for a fight, unless you are willing to pay for it!!

What was the situation with assets when you separated? I think that’s much more relevant to a settlement than the current situation is. Did you own a house together, what other assets were there, how were they split then?

Exactly as @Sayitagainwhydontyou says.