Malicious Call to the Police

[KellyBZ]

This evening my household had a visit from the police. It caught me completely off guard as I was in my kitchen engrossed in a telephone conversation with a girlfriend (talking about my brothers mental health, and my MP offering to help him out).

I turned around to face the living room and was completely taken aback to see a police officer in my living room and another following behind.

I was totally dumb struck, as I didn't even hear the door knock or hear my partner answer the door.

They were attending a call regarding a domestic disturbance... a domestic disturbance that didn't exist.

Anyway, they could probably see the shock on my face, and heard me quickly explaining and hanging up on my friend. (who had only left mine an hour before, after having spend the day with me, her sister and her baby).

They could see that my partner had sat back down to continue what he was doing, which was changing our baby's nappy whilst watching Question Time on the TV.

I told them it was a malicious call, most likely from the neighbour, as.....

The neighbour did called the police last night, whilst we were, admittedly having an argument over DIY.

I accept that yesterday, we were arguing quite loudly for about 10 minutes, and our voices were further raised because the baby was having an (infrequent) bad evening with her teething and she was crying for that reason, her crying was adding to our stress of the DIY and decorating, as did the spilt bucket of paper paste that went all over the carpet. So yeah, there was a brief spell of yelling.

The police came out, saw that we were decorating, saw that the baby was fine (she had settled down) and they left, leaving us a warning about noise complaints.

Anyway, me & my partner have been having serious communication issues and there is probably a loud argument at least once a week. We're aware that it's not good, and we're working on an action plan to improve the situation. Our relationship is currently in crisis. However there is no domestic violence, no smashing of things, just two people arguing. I can accept that she might be fed up of the arguing, I don't appreciate that her first point of call being the police when she could just approach us herself.

She seems like a busy body anyway, as she leaves notes on peoples car telling them not to park in front of her drive, when she doesn't actually have a drive, she has a front garden like everybody else - and she doesn't even drive so has no car to park!

I feel like she taken a dislike to us (dur), as she pointedly slams her windows and doors if I walk past her house or walk into my back garden. She also plays Opera music really loudly at between 12-2am in her bedroom with is joined to ours, I'm pretty sure she's doing it to piss us off - but I let it slide.

I didn't take last nights call to the police too personally, as we did have an argument, and last week and the week before I had an issue with my mentally unwell brother turning up here, and with the police dropping him off to me as he's schizophrenic and homeless. I've had to call the police to remove him once, and he's yelled outside my house a few times. I feel like this has contributed to her anger and her need to raise a complaint.

She probably thinks the incidents with my brother were incidents with my partner, as her blinds are always down, she wouldn't have seen any differently.

Anyway, this evening, I can promise everybody on my life that there have been no arguments or raised voices in this house. I had a good day, all things considered. Yet she's just felt the need to make a completely malicious call about a made up event - I'm just left in disbelief.

No doubt she wanted to trigger some reaction from me, but instead I called the non-emergency police ton make to report the fact this was a completely made up event - unfortunately the call handler guy was as snotty as can be and basically called me a liar, and said its their job to attend calls. I said I don't dispute that fact, but this event is 110% made up and now do I have to live in fear of false allegations?

I have a baby at home (who is perfectly safe and well loved), now I have to live with this hanging over my head. I'm not worried about the Social being called because I know I'll pass their assessment - I'm a perfectly adequate parent, relationship troubles aside. But I'm fuming that all it's takes is a malicious person to bring these services into your life.

What do I do about this neighbour? The police guy said he'd get a case manager to call me back, but he was completely condescending.

I strongly suspect this is a case of the police getting the date wrong,

Arguing so loudly the neighbours can hear and are forced to call the police is really concerning with an infant in thr house as others are trying to say.

For your child's sake you both need to take proactive measures to not do this.

I feel sorry for your neighbour and if it is them who called, I suspect it’s been a build up of listening to your shouting and then hearing the baby cry and it’s played on their mind so they have eventually called the police for peace of mind.

The call may well have been made that day, but about a history of disturbances.

Sounds quite childish to be shouting and arguing over decorating to be honest, especially in front of a small child.

You were having an argument,someone called the police.
You are now saying the police turned up when you weren’t arguing and therefore the call to the police is malicious and a lie.
There’s only one lying here and it ain’t the neighbour.
And as for trying to speak to a manager at the police,with the attitude you have no wonder you are having arguments.
Also a perfectly adequate parent would know that a child at any age is affected by parents arguing.

@KellyBZ The Police once turned up to me four times after I had to call them. Within half an hour; and then the next day, and twice over the next week. Something just didn't get marked to say that the incident had been dealt with so it kept being "refreshed" into the queue to be dealt with that day. I always had to explain that it was a one off, it wasn't that day, I was fine.

Your bigger problem isn't the calls. It's really not. And if your neighbour has reported you again, it's likely that she heard something and thought it was all kicking off again - or that she thinks you need help and is trying to provide it, she may be worried the arguments will escalate. You may not want her help, but she's doing what she can. You're impacting on her life and home too. There's also the possibility that a few neighbours are upset about this and one called later to report the argument the night before; and it was processed wrong. It's not just immediate neighbours who can hear, arguments tend to travel.

It sounds like you're at breaking point, and pushing a decision back until January might not help anyone. Can one of you stay elsewhere for a while, if you need time to talk but can't avoid arguments?

Excellent post @AnchorDownDeepBreath

@AnchorDownDeepBreath has made some really good points. I called the police myself about my own relationship because our arguments we're getting out of control and I was being gaslighted. I didn't make that choice lightly. The police are not the issue here. You are in the middle of such a tough time and I also think that they probably risk assessed the situation and decided it wasn't an immediate priority so came later. That's what happened with me. Don't worry about the neighbors. Just look after yourself and your baby. It's horrible being stuck in a cycle of repetitive arguments and I know I would have been shocked to see the police but my situation went on far too long.

Ooooh this is an old post but has really boiled my blood. We have neighbours exactly like you. We put up with a year of huge arguments about once or twice a week at all hours of the day or night. We spoke to them in a friendly manner about it at least 3 times. You have no idea how much you are ruining people's lives. Me and partner couldn't sleep at night. I was having panic attacks every time it kicked off. They echoed around the street when they would do it with a window open. In the end we called the police and they took it down to a liveable level. But the damage to our life and wellbeing has been too much and we have sold our house and are getting away from them ASAP. It makes me sick you have the audacity to act like a victim

Op my neighbours have done this to me on several occasions (no kids)
No dv just malicious reports very frustrating when the police turn up