Malicious Call to the Police

[KellyBZ]

This evening my household had a visit from the police. It caught me completely off guard as I was in my kitchen engrossed in a telephone conversation with a girlfriend (talking about my brothers mental health, and my MP offering to help him out).

I turned around to face the living room and was completely taken aback to see a police officer in my living room and another following behind.

I was totally dumb struck, as I didn't even hear the door knock or hear my partner answer the door.

They were attending a call regarding a domestic disturbance... a domestic disturbance that didn't exist.

Anyway, they could probably see the shock on my face, and heard me quickly explaining and hanging up on my friend. (who had only left mine an hour before, after having spend the day with me, her sister and her baby).

They could see that my partner had sat back down to continue what he was doing, which was changing our baby's nappy whilst watching Question Time on the TV.

I told them it was a malicious call, most likely from the neighbour, as.....

The neighbour did called the police last night, whilst we were, admittedly having an argument over DIY.

I accept that yesterday, we were arguing quite loudly for about 10 minutes, and our voices were further raised because the baby was having an (infrequent) bad evening with her teething and she was crying for that reason, her crying was adding to our stress of the DIY and decorating, as did the spilt bucket of paper paste that went all over the carpet. So yeah, there was a brief spell of yelling.

The police came out, saw that we were decorating, saw that the baby was fine (she had settled down) and they left, leaving us a warning about noise complaints.

Anyway, me & my partner have been having serious communication issues and there is probably a loud argument at least once a week. We're aware that it's not good, and we're working on an action plan to improve the situation. Our relationship is currently in crisis. However there is no domestic violence, no smashing of things, just two people arguing. I can accept that she might be fed up of the arguing, I don't appreciate that her first point of call being the police when she could just approach us herself.

She seems like a busy body anyway, as she leaves notes on peoples car telling them not to park in front of her drive, when she doesn't actually have a drive, she has a front garden like everybody else - and she doesn't even drive so has no car to park!

I feel like she taken a dislike to us (dur), as she pointedly slams her windows and doors if I walk past her house or walk into my back garden. She also plays Opera music really loudly at between 12-2am in her bedroom with is joined to ours, I'm pretty sure she's doing it to piss us off - but I let it slide.

I didn't take last nights call to the police too personally, as we did have an argument, and last week and the week before I had an issue with my mentally unwell brother turning up here, and with the police dropping him off to me as he's schizophrenic and homeless. I've had to call the police to remove him once, and he's yelled outside my house a few times. I feel like this has contributed to her anger and her need to raise a complaint.

She probably thinks the incidents with my brother were incidents with my partner, as her blinds are always down, she wouldn't have seen any differently.

Anyway, this evening, I can promise everybody on my life that there have been no arguments or raised voices in this house. I had a good day, all things considered. Yet she's just felt the need to make a completely malicious call about a made up event - I'm just left in disbelief.

No doubt she wanted to trigger some reaction from me, but instead I called the non-emergency police ton make to report the fact this was a completely made up event - unfortunately the call handler guy was as snotty as can be and basically called me a liar, and said its their job to attend calls. I said I don't dispute that fact, but this event is 110% made up and now do I have to live in fear of false allegations?

I have a baby at home (who is perfectly safe and well loved), now I have to live with this hanging over my head. I'm not worried about the Social being called because I know I'll pass their assessment - I'm a perfectly adequate parent, relationship troubles aside. But I'm fuming that all it's takes is a malicious person to bring these services into your life.

What do I do about this neighbour? The police guy said he'd get a case manager to call me back, but he was completely condescending.

It's kind of irrelevant though. What about all the times you've been arguing and they haven't called the police?

None of us are perfect, obviously, but I would call the police if someone was arguing to a point where I thought someone might get hurt. I have done as well. And I'm not a busybody.

Have you taken into consideration the police may have potentially come a day late?

Perhaps said neighbour has had a titful of hearing arguments once a week, your brother, baby crying. Instead of arguing with your DP and "shouting" louder because the baby was crying, you should have settled the baby and not argued further.

Still voting the police were a day late to the call.

If you're as touchy in RL as you are in here then you must be a difficult neighbour.

Living next door to a crying baby isn't exactly enjoyable, but most if us accept it's just what babies do, it's more stressful for the parents and it's something that they grow out if. But anybody already living with that and then having to put up with weekly loud arguments as well, would be justified in feeling completely pissed off. I just hope that the decorating is quiet and doesn't involve any DIY.

What do I do about this neighbour?

I would probably thank them tbh.

The police may have been responding a day late. Or if it was the neighbour reporting it then its probably a report for a long line of raised voice incidents. If you witness something worrying then theres no such thing as too late to report it. Maybe the report was for genuine concern rather than maliciousness. At the moment the police visit is a one off. Just use it to spur you to improving communication with your dp and stop having loud arguments.

If you had never argued ever then maybe you would have a point. But you have admitted you argue regularly in a way that you admit wouldn't surprise you if it could be heard next door.

So either the police turned up a day late or your neighbour took a while to build herself up to calling the police. Either way, TODAY might have been a good day (strange turn of phrase too) but that doesn't mean there isn't a problem.

You would do better working on things so that you don't have shouting matches with your partner on the regular, instead of getting worked up over the ins and outs of the police being called. You are spectacularly missing the point.

They responded yesterday and saw that everything was okay, so it doesn't make sense that they would come out again regarding yesterday.

They were very brief (only here for 2 minutes) but said that it related to a domestic this evening, which as I say, didn't happen.

Suffice it to say, we won't be raising our voices again considering somebody would stoop so low as to invent problems on top of the real problems.

I've half a mind to go stay with my mother this week in case there's another malicious call - and the person will be left with egg on their face when I can prove I wasn't even here.

I get that arguing is bad, I do, I don't need a lecture. But it frightens me to think that somebody now wants to invent problems - that's seriously malicious with a capital M.

Op not being funny but if therea nothing to hide why are you so bothered by this? If its as malicious and made up as you say then no harm done as nothing will ever come of it.

I'm concerned in case it happens again. I've got no qualms in taking responsibilities for my actions. There was an argument yesterday, purely verbal, it's never anything more than that.

I'm concerned my neighbour has acted completely maliciously today and will do again in future.

I have done nothing malicious to this person, so why stoop so low and waste police time for a fictitious event?

You can't tell me that's normal behaviour either.

@Geepipe the problem comes when there are repeated malicious calls, which is what the OP seems to be worried about happening and I can fully understand. One call - they won't do anything, but repeated malicious calls, they will and taking action will be towards the OP before it will be towards the neighbour. Sometimes it doesn't matter that you're an innocent party in it.

You don’t know that it was definitely this neighbour who reported you though.

Jesus, this really isn’t the place to ask for advice anymore...just lots of judgement & an inability to address the actual question.

Msybe going to stay with your mum wouldn’t be a bad idea...it might give you two a bit of space from each other and some time to think about what you both want and how to resolve the issues you’re having or to face the fact it’s really over and maybe an
Opportunity for her to either have a bit of peace & calm down or mid report again and get egg on her face!

Malicious cow.

Fair enough if it starts to happen more but as a one off i would just chalk it up to someone being fed up. Unfortunately you can't control other peoples actions. Surely the police would need proof before anything can be done? They cant just take someones word for a domestic disturbance when theres no proof?

Well, I'm not concerned that any further action will be taken by the police or the social should they also be informed (which would probably happen in the event of another real or false call), I'll explain the truth in clear terms and I have a police log number & a video of my brothers psychotic episodes happening here (he's truly not in control of his own mind or actions, it's heartbreaking).

And I wouldn't be here complaining if the call made today wasn't malicious, but ,made out of genuine concern.

My fear is that I know it was malicious, I know it was made up... and I'm here talking about it, because I cannot fathom how vindictive a person can be to invent stories and actually waste police time.

I was here to vent more so, and wondering how people best handle false allegations made against them.

Thank you for the constructive comments.

Just to add that I do suffer anxiety attacks, and that's what I got tonight when I randomly found the police in my living room whilst I was genuinely engrossed in a call.

Just to clarify i wasnt disbelieving you or trying to play it down op i just didnt want to
Blow it up. I agree though i too would be shocked to see police unexpectedly in my house. My parents have had malicious complaints to social services against them twice so these things do happen. There should be a law against it but again how would you prove it.

Th police will not respond immediately to anything other than a 999 emergency and even then, there could be a wait due to cuts.
The visit today would've been about the last commotion your neighbour heard. There might've been some crossed wires along the way, with when exactly she heard it or who it was (your brother/you or DH). The first thing to spring to my mind would be concern, not malice.

I'm just going on the facts available to me. The police said it was regarding an incident tonight. There are no other ways I can explain it. In my mind and by the logic of deduction, it was a malicious call... and you can say what you like about me & my partners relationship issues, but we certainly are low enough to make false allegations about people.

Why are you so convinced it's malicious?

I reckon she was either concerned or she is sick of listening to the pair of you.

I'm sorry you're upset but it must be horrible to live next door to people who are constantly arguing. You mentioned you had visitors earlier in the evening. If there was a loud conversation, maybe the neighbour misheard it as another argument.

Take it as a wake-up call to resolve your differences like adults by discussing them, not by yelling at each other.

Maybe she heard someone else and assumed it was you two.. because it usually is?

You really need to try and stop these screaming matches around your baby - it’s not fair on the child or your neighbours. You brother is a different matter. Perhaps ask the police to stop bringing his to yours if he is that disruptive?

Bloody hell OP, you're getting a hard time here! A drop in by the police after an argument is annoying but not the end of the world. The fact that this one was likely malicious is a fair reason to be pissed off tbh. Your neighbour sounds like a nightmare - I'd seriously consider making a noise complaint to the council over regular 2am music.

There was raised voices and a police visit yesterday, I don’t know if they got a call or were just following up on the previous call. Someone walking past could have heard something, even if it was just you shouting do you want a cup of tea, who knows.

The fact is police have been called before to your argument, it’s not good for your child to hear this weekly and it would wind me up as a neighbour as well. I also wouldn’t want to approach any neighbour of mine having such arguments, who knows what would happen, I would also call the police, especially as you have a child

Look at it as a wake up call, do something about your relationship, that’s what the root cause is here

Are you absolutely sure another complaint was made tonight? Could there have been a mix up in communications, like the police responding to last night's incident without realising someone had already been? Or the neighbour calling the police today to speak generally about her concerns and another officer was sent over?

Unless it happens again I wouldn't use up my energy worrying about this. Spend that energy working out how not to have weekly screaming matches around your child.