Can they take my baby away

[saraheve]

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

How can anyone judge me and say im not telling truth when I am. Narrow minded bullys who think they know it all but obviously know nothing or they wouldn't come out with things that are not the truth themselves. Kick a girl while she's down. Karma goes around u know I wish my pain on noone but I can't stand people who think their right but couldn't be more wrong. Saying why havnt I got my son bk. Er it's only been 5 months and im not telling whole truth and it must all be a man's fault er grow up

Somone even said, that I said I have no family, I actually said I have not got much family support. Most people have been really nice and gave me good advice that I will take on board. But some have been nasty bullies that are so narrow minded I wanna be sick on them

Why havnt I got my son back. So u want to act like a know it all putting me down when im already down and u don't even know what ur talking about. A discharge order can only be discharged every 6 months by law. Anyway I'm much higher more intelligent and stronger than this.

Women should support each other. That's why I came on hear for a bit of support and advice not to be beat down. A woman some women need that bit of non judgemental support I have totally opened up then told im not telling the whole truth. I never beat my son and we have many happy memories I was not looking after myself I was ill I turned to substance misuse that's the truth I know it was wrong im ashamed. But have turned my life around and sticking to it. I'm much more stronger now and I will fight for my son back and to keep my baby. Strong women support each outher with kindness.

I don't think you've deliberately omitted information but perhaps part of your sn is that you aren't good at identifying what information is most relevant, identifying and prioritising what needs to be done. The situation isn't as simplistic as you seem to feel. A few small changes cannot in themselves reverse what has happened.

Tbh your last few posts are demonstrating a worrying attitude which I hope you can curb when dealing with ss and court. Maybe once the situation with your dc has become clearer moving away from your ex would be sensible, but only do so if ss support it or it could be seen as an attempt to avoid them and create more problems.

SS have put your son in foster care because he was not being looked after properly . That is a fact and people are responding to that. SS will do what's in the best interest of your son and unborn baby.

You need to listen very carefully to any advice they give you and any advice you get from your solicitor. Please ask them if there is anything you don't understand.

Your children will be your children all your life hopefully and if the court doesnt decide it is best for them not to be returned to you it doesn't mean that you wont have contact with them ion the future. If that does happen, that is the time to stay strong and not to go back to a spiral of getting pregnant and having your baby removed as this can often happen.

I spoke to ss and asked for them to explain things clearer to me they know I suffer from Autism so they do their best to clarify. They said I'm doing a good job but it's only been 5 months that I have made thease changes and they want to see if can sustain it for longer at least a year. I asked is their anything else they think I should so as I do want to work with them, but they said no im doing everything right. So the real issue hear is the fact I've made substantial change I just need to show them that this is permanent. Thanks im sorry if my lasts posts were worrying I just feel when im put down that im getting bullied all over again. Some comments have been nasty like if im making changes why havnt I got my son back. 1. Because it's only been 5 months 2. Because I have been told to prioritise baby 3. Because I need to show changes are permanent for at least a year. That's the truth.

Sarah most the advice has been given with good intentions.

Most people who have their children remove accept no responsibility. This is where the rumours of child snatching comes in. I think you've realised this yourself over the course of the thread.

You haven't done that you've faced up to the mess, the addiction and the MH issues.

The problem is when abuse happens it's hard to admit to yourself what has happened never mind other people. Natural instinct is to cover up the abuse. I say that from experience.

MN on a whole is very supportive place and I think sticking around would hel

Ok thank you I am due to give birth in a week and missing my son like crazy and im under a huge amount of stress so feeling more sensitive than usual. Some comments have been hurtful like why havnt I got my son back its because time hasn't been long enough to show changes are sustained. They say at least a year. I do admit to my mistakes and honestly I have jumped through hoops to change and better my life. I'm not hiding anything I have to show the changes I've made are permanent that's why when baby is born im more than likely to be monitored I can accept this.

I still don't understand why they want to reduce contact with your son. If you're doing everything right, why reduce it?
I also think there is much more you are not admitting (probably even to yourself) about the reason your son was taken into care. You do not lose your child as a result of having an untidy house, smoking pot a couple of times a week and even binge drinking at the weekends.

You just don't.

I wish you the very best. I don't know whether you noticed my post way back but its definitely possible to turn your life around and keep it on the up. I speak from experience x

Women should support each other.

No, women shouldn't support women just because they are women.

I'm pretty sure cannabis use/addiction alone would be grounds for removal. I'm basing that on a recent thread on here

You'd be surprised Unborn!

Red I didn't realise.

DD's dad had his unsupervised contact stopped through it but he's not resident parent iyswim.

A couple of months back a posters DH was using there was EA but no DV at the time, she was told repeatedly it could lead to her losing her DD.

m pretty sure cannabis use/addiction alone would be grounds for removal. I'm basing that on a recent thread on here

Very very unlikely

Their reducing contact so he can feel more settled where he is. As i said I have to show changes for at least a year and even though I have shown change its to soon to send him home now as their worried I won't be able to sustain it. So in the meantime they want him to feel settled where he is. If they did reduce it to 5 times a year is would tackle this in court as although I want him to feel happy where he is in also want the bond we have to remain.

They wouldn't be reducing contact if they had any idea of him returning to your care. This doesn't make much sense.

Yes you do. Smoking cannibis binge drinking depression is classed as neglect. I have addressed the issues but at the time I thought like you. That it would have to be something more serious to take my son away. I took him out regularly took him on holidays gave him lots of love, fed him his fave food. Was told by many that I spoilt him because I love him so much. I thought noway can they take him away. I was shocked and still very hurt that they have. I'll never wish to that pain on anyone but I will never give up on him. I'll have to go in and out of court that I hate but I will fight to get him back. Unfortunately I have to show changes for at least a year, it's been 5 months already.

There not going to have a idea of placing him back into my care already it's only been 5 months, as I keep repeating change has to be shown for at least a year

PigletWasPoohsFriend why shouldn't women support each outher, and support men in need to.
So is it better to put people down to make yourself feel good. I'm stronger and wiser than that and I never put anyone down because you don't know what cards you will be dealt with in life

donajimena thanks for your message finally some positive advice, your right anyone can change their life around if they have the right support and put their mind to it. Thank God for positive people like you.

For all the negitive people on hear your just giving me more fire to proove I can do it. So thank you too

PigletWasPoohsFriend why shouldn't women support each outher, and support men in need to

Depends what 'support' you are talking about.

Support doesn't mean saying 'there , there' everything will be ok'. Support is sometimes tough love and harsh words.

Cannibis may be looked as nothing serious. But in social services eyes a drug is a drug. Best decision of my life is to stop smoking cannabis and stop drinking at all.